Expat lists five things he ‘hates’ about living in Melbourne

A British expat has listed five things he “hates” about living in Melbourne, with his complaints resonating with some Aussies.

A British expat has listed five things he ‘hates’ about living in Melbourne with his points resonating with some Aussies.

A British expat has listed five things he “hates” about living in Melbourne, with his complaints resonating with some Aussies.

Ralph Smith, from London, moved to Melbourne three months ago and in that time he has developed a love-hate relationship with the city.

In a viral TIkTok that has amassed almost one million views, the Brit explained he “doesn’t hate Melbourne at all”, pointing out that he recently recorded a video about the five things he loves about the city.

However, there’s a few things about the bustling Aussie destination that infuriate him, with the first being the public transport system.

“I’ve never witnessed such a badly put-together transport system,” Ralph said.

“These Myki cards are useless,” he continued, referencing Victoria’s reloadable contactless smart cards for public transport.

“It’s pretty much the only way to get around the city, because you cannot pay with your normal card while getting on a train or a tram. But if you forget this card you are literally f**ked.”

He continued to slam the smart card, saying “for some reason you cannot pay with your normal card when getting on a train or a tram”.

British expat Ralph Smith, from London, has been living in Melbourne for three months and while he loves the city, there’s a few things that infuriate him about it. Picture: TikTok/ralph__travels

“You can’t [even] add it to your phone, you have to have the card physically with you.”

Ralph revealed that it was “extremely frustrating” because he doesn’t carry a wallet on his person.

He then took aim at the roads in the city, saying regardless if you’re a pedestrian or driver, the traffic lights will hinder your journey in some way.

“Because roads are so wide, you can be at a crossroads trying to get from one corner to the other and it can literally take about five minutes,” he said.

“These lights don’t ever change. And it’s the same if you’re driving a car – you’re just always sitting in traffic.”

Ralph then drew attention to the “lack of accommodation”.

“If you’re currently looking for a place to rent or buy in Melbourne – it seems impossible,” he said.

He finds the transport system frustrating. Picture: TikTok/ralph__travels

He then took aim at the roads in the city. Picture: TikTok/ralph__travels

“Like as soon as the place gets listed, within a day it seems to be taken up and already sold.

“I could be completely wrong but I just feel like there’s way too many people for the amount of accommodation available.”

The fourth point he made was about the “unpredictable weather”.

He said you can be out in the sun in a t-shirt and then there’s a thunderstorm in a heartbeat.

“It switches all day long … but at the same time it is what it is.”

The lack of accommodation was another. Picture: TikTok/ralph__travels

And lastly, Ralph said he is constantly having to deal with people “screaming in [his] face” and threatening to steal his belongings.

“The road between Flinders Street station and Collins Street is filled with people punching walls, screaming out loud, and you do not feel safe at all,” he said.

“You can be walking down the street and someone will come up to you and start screaming in your face while trying to get your stuff.”

he pointed out that while the weather is great, it is also ‘unpredictable’. Picture: TikTok/ralph__travels

He said he is constantly having to deal with people ‘screaming in [his] face’. Picture: TikTok/ralph__travels

Unsurprisingly, Ralph’s list attracted plenty of comment from Aussies and fellow expats mostly echoing his complaints.

“I agree with you, reasonable justified opinions. I would add the internet, coverage & speed is abysmal,” one person wrote.

When an Aussie joked that Melburnians don’t use Myki and just pretend they’re asleep if an inspector comes along, Ralph said he got fined for doing that.

“I got fined even after I told them was just travelling two stops, AND it was my 21st birthday. $270,” a fellow Aussie wrote.

Another said: “Myki is pretty easy to use though. Just top up a card? I know other countries have other options, but honestly how hard is it to carry a card.”

Ralph responded: “Just [very] behind compared to other countries.”

Others noted that “Melbourne is notorious for its weather”

“It’s like each block has its own weather system,” one person joked.

“All valid but the homeless problem is a society one though. People are doing it tough,” another pointed out.