A week inside the most debaucherous festival on Earth

THE most debaucherous festival on Earth involves rampant drugs and sex. But there’s more to it than you think. WARNING: Nudity.

WARNING: Nudity

BURNING Man is the kind of place where you can find yourself lodged in a sea of human-sized teddy bears, or people deep in discussion on polyamory like it is the most normal thing in the world. It’s truly astounding what 70,000 people are capable of once the constraints of normal society are removed.

Yes there are lots of drugs and the place is rampant with sex, but there is far more to it than that. It is a place free of judgment where you can let your freak flag fly in all its glory, meet others of your kind, and have a chance to relieve yourself of the traps of the 9-5 grind.

Here are some highlights that will give you an idea of what a week at Burning Man, held at Black Rock Desert in Nevada, is REALLY like.

It’s dusty in the Nevada Desert. Be prepared for dirt in all the wrong places. Picture: Andy Barron/Reno Gazette-Journal

WHAT IN THE WEIRD YOU CAN GET UP TO

Upon entering you are handed a booklet that is 157 pages long that depicts all official events, parties and workshops taking place throughout the week (there are many more unofficial ones). Aside from ‘normal’ things such as morning meditation, yoga and learning to hula hoop, there are many more wild and wacky activities you can partake in.

Perhaps you’d like to treat your vagina to a pussy day spa? Or dance it out at a Taylor Swift Day party? Maybe you’re feeling naughty and in need of a good spanking?

If you’re feeling aroused, get hot and heavy in a threesome in the orgy dome.

If you want to warm up your vocal cords you could to sing it out at a Britney versus Madonna party.

Or if you’re there with a significant other, you could get married on Playa, the dry lake bed where the crazy event is held.

If you feel like rolling through the event, go for a ride at the skatepark or better yet get your skates on at the Black Rock City Roller Disco.

Feeling gassy? Fart it out to your hearts content into a megaphone to passers-by.

Want to explore your sexual or sensuality? Be blindfolded, set your boundaries of what you are comfortable with and then have multiple people touch your body at once. Or else, attend a safe gay play space, called ‘keeping in touch’, as a heterosexual male and work through exercises of increasing intimacy in a strictly non-sexual manner that is designed to push your boundaries and invoke some level of discomfort.

Other pursuits include skydiving, clambering over art installations, dancing it out at the many sound-theme camps to world renowned DJs, and art car hopping until the sun rises. The Playa truly is your oyster.

It’s the festival where anything goes.

STEPPING OUTSIDE YOUR COMFORT ZONE

After several days in the desert with dust in places that you’d never dream possible, I was dying for a shower. Suddenly a naked peppermint foam party, courtesy of Dr Bronner’s, was starting to sound incredibly appealing. I grabbed three ladies from our Barbie Shrimp crew (the name we gave our group of 20 friends, mostly from Australia) and we set out in the hot sun to find the camp ‘Something Freaky This Way Foams’.

After waiting in line and writing our deepest and darkest desires on anonymous pieces of paper we were ushered into a huge private tent where we were greeted by a hundred or so naked bodies all nervously and excitedly waiting to have a communal shower.

I’ve never been one to walk around naked — it’s just not my thing — but here it just felt so comfortable and right. Once we were finally in the container we were blasted with peppermint foam soap. Everyone was shrieking with laughter and we all washed each other down. It was a purely liberating and non-sexual experience that made me appreciate how truly beautiful bodies are of all shapes and sizes.

As someone who has never been confident revealing all in front of others, afterwards I found myself in no hurry to put my clothes back on. We danced around the tent a little longer before reluctantly redressing and heading out to pursue our next Playa adventure.

Be prepared to see naked people and get naked yourself.

THE PEOPLE THAT YOU MEET

Aside from the Burning Man 50km Ultra Marathon, many other races are run throughout the week. One night, Barbie Shrimp crew member Matt* met a veteran Burner by the name of John who told him about The Warrior Race that he runs each year.

The race starts from 4 o’clock at the Man (Burning Man is laid out like a clock that runs from 2 to 10 o’clock) and ends at the airport. It is run on foot, at midday and the only rule is you can’t run on any roads — you must run through camps and interact with them along the way.

If you win you are introduced to Halvey the pilot who gifts flights over Burning Man. There is no promise of a flight, the gift is just an introduction. Matt decided to join John on this year’s race and the next thing he knows he is standing at the airport having won the race. Exhausted and covered in sweat, Matt is then introduced to Halvey who agrees to give him a 45 minute guided flight around Black Rock City in a 1964 Cessna.

Burning Man is laid out like a clock that runs from 2 to 10 o’clock. Picture: DigitalGlobe via Getty Images

Another amazing individual our crew had the pleasure of crossing paths with one evening was Hugh. Hugh has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), but had decided to confront his fears and attend Burning Man that year. For context, you will never be dirtier in your life than spending five days on the Playa after dancing through the ‘white out’ — dust so thick you can’t see a metre in front of you.

As a cuspy Virgo who thrives on organised chaos, I definitely had my moments with the grime and dust — I can’t even imagine what havoc it must play on a person with severe OCD. The fact that Hugh had made it out to Black Rock City was pretty impressive in itself. However, we soon found out that up until the week of Burning Man, he had never hugged anyone before.

When we met Hugh, he had given out seven hugs, counting each one. He was reluctant to hug anyone else, as he felt he had already done enough. But he agreed to embrace Barbie Shrimper Amy and it was one of her most moving experiences of the week.

You never know who you’ll meet through the dust. Here is Australian model Shanina Shaik dressed appropriately. Picture: shaninamshaik/Instagram

Nothing can quite prepare you mentally for what Burning Man throws your way. It’s an emotional rollercoaster and the 10 guiding principles of radical inclusion, gifting, decommodification, radical self-reliance, radical self-expression, communal effort, civic responsibility, leaving no trace, participation and immediacy set the tone, but truly anything can happen out there in the desert.

It’s the closest thing you can get to a utopian state of living — an adult Disney fantasyland full of magical possibilities that renews your faith in mankind and the generosity and creativity of others. Yes there are things they need to work on (such as diversity) but the festival is on many people’s bucket lists (including Paris Hilton and Katy Perry’s) for a reason. There really is something to be gained by everyone by getting dusty for a week.

It’s hot, it’s dirty, and it should be on everyone’s bucket list. Picture: Instagram

* Names have been changed for privacy reasons.

Follow Isabel Thomson-Officer on Twitter @missizzyofficer