Rain. The dirty four-letter word Australian ski resorts never mention

A WEEK after huge snowfalls, the Australian snow industry is in total denial about a four-letter ‘R’ word it can’t bring itself to say. It’s not that hard, guys.

THE so-called Antarctic Vortex is long gone. In its place is a thing they call the “pineapple express”.

Used by snow lovers, the phrase originated in Western Canada and describes a surge of warm tropical air which wreaks havoc by raining away all the snow. That’s more or less what’s happening in the Australian Alps this morning.

It’s not all bad news. Snow, and plenty of it, is due from this afternoon all the way through till next Tuesday. It’s actually snowing already on the upper third of most Australian resorts.

But across the bottom two thirds of most local ski hills, it’s very, very soggy right now. Not that you’d know it from a quick glance at this morning’s snow reports.

Australian ski resorts are not exactly known for their snow reporting accuracy, but when it comes to rain, they go into denial. Out goes reality, in comes the euphemisms.

Here’s the first line of the snow report at Mt Buller in Victoria this morning:

“For those up here skiing and boarding today you’re going to find good conditions in open areas on a firm packed base.”

TRANSLATION: It’s raining.

This morning’s image of the Mt Buller lift ticket office shows last week’s snow having a bit of a bath. Pic: ski.com.au

Here’s the first line of the Falls Creek snow report:

“Great cover of wet and groomed snow in all open areas.”

TRANSLATION: It’s bucketing down.

This could be anywhere, but you’ll have to take our word that it’s the Summit Chairlift at Falls Creek this morning. And those aren’t exactly snowflakes on the camera. Pic: ski.com.au.

Here’s Hotham:

“Very blowy and slightly damp this morning.”

TRANSLATION: “It’s pouring.” To Hotham’s credit, the report does go on to say “the temperature fluctuated during the night and we had intermittent wet snow mixed with light rain up high”. But it’s mostly rain, as this image shows (see this link for last week’s beer-ometer goodness).

The beer-o-meter is looking a little sad at Hotham this morning. Pic courtesy of user Camelot at ski.com.au, who is a very helpful fellow.

Up over the NSW border, here’s the first line of Thredbo’s report:

“The snow has started to fall up top with some great wind drifts to be found.”

TRANSLATION: There’s a fair bit of rain on the lower slopes.

Heavy snow is falling up high, which is great for most runs. Pic: ski.com.au

Here’s Perisher’s:

“What a way to start the day here in Perisher it has started snowing!”

TRANSLATION: You’ll get pretty wet on the lower slopes.

Yep, those are definitely flakes up high at Perisher this morning. Thredbo, Hotham, Perisher and Charlotte Pass are all now reporting heavy snow up high as cooler air moves in around midday.

And here’s the first line of the snow report for the humble little hill of Selwyn Snowfields in NSW, where this reporter’s kids learned to ski and had a very good time doing so.

“Soft snow conditions groomed up nicely this morning.”

TRANSLATION: Yep, it’s also raining here.

To Selwyn’s credit, the report goes on to mention the r word, which makes two out of six resorts we checked who were brave enough to say it. Thredbo also mentioned the word “drizzle” so they get some marks for honesty too.

But overall, the Australian resorts have got a way to go yet in the honesty stakes.

If you’re down at the snow right now, you’re in for a great snowy week. But for today, it might be wise to stay put in a four-letter place that also starts with r: your room.