XXXX Island: Four days at the blokiest place in Australia

I’M STANDING on the edge of the wharf at Keppel Bay Marina, staring at a bright yellow boat with “The Schooner” emblazoned on the side. Why am I doing this?

Hey there, hammock.

I’M STANDING on the edge of the wharf at Keppel Bay Marina, staring at a bright yellow boat with “The Schooner” emblazoned on the side.

As we’re ushered onto this very boat, I know for sure that I’m past the point of no return. I’ve been on two planes and a bus so far today, and I’m very far from home. Why? I’m about to visit XXXX Island. Yes you read that right — I am just one 30 minute boat ride away from the blokiest place in Australia.

What am I doing?

XXXX Island, the place from the XXXX beer ‘loo with a view’ ad, not only exists in real life — it’s open to women. And I, along with three friends, am about to spend four days there.

I would be lying if I said I wasn’t apprehensive. This island is no luxury retreat. You have to buy beer in order to win your way ashore. We’ve already been warned that there are no power points in our cabins. But as we pull into the most beautiful island I’ve seen in a long time, my trepidations begin to ease. The three girls I’ve brought with me seem to be getting along well, despite only having met each other at 6am that morning, the water is clear, and the day is a GORGEOUS, sunny, 32 degrees.

Not bad ...

I can see lunch on display in the bar — not the char grilled snags I was expecting, but platter upon platter of antipasto plates, which we devour before a tour of the island.

XXXX Island is not a huge island, but boy is it pretty. Originally known as Pumpkin Island before being taken over by XXXX Gold, the island is located on the southern end of the Great Barrier Reef. There are four cabins and two glamping-style accommodation options on the island, which houses a maximum of 24 people. Yes, people — if you missed the earlier memo, XXXX Island is open to both men, and women. And I promise you, both can enjoy it.

The island.

My friends and I spend the next three days going from our deck chairs to the water and back again. We read, when we feel energetic we paddleboard, then we go and nap for a little while to recuperate from all the exhaustion. We spend an afternoon finding and shucking oysters, eating them straight from the shell. We play — and win — music trivia against other guests. We go out fishing for a morning. We try our hand at hilltop golf. We go to sleep listening to the waves crashing just outside our door. The emergency board games I packed in case the conversation didn’t flow never even left my bag.

SUCCESS.

Oyster shuckling.

The fact that there are no power points for phone chargers or hair straighteners in our cabin doesn’t matter. We wear no shoes and no make-up and we swim in the ocean instead of showering. Our biggest decision becomes whose turn it is to barbecue, and if we should wake up early to go canoeing.

The view from our balcony.

Basically, we relax — and in this ever-changing, fast-paced world, what a treat that is. All of a sudden, the blokiest place on earth doesn’t seem quite so unappealing. We’re not only surviving — we’re thriving.

The island bar.

Now you still have to win your way on to XXXX Island, but the staff there assure me that if you’re good with words and can write a little rhyme in 25 words or less, you’re well on your way. So ladies, if your partner wins a trip, make him take you along. Or better still — win a trip yourself, and I’ll meet you there.

More: xxxx.com.au/xxxx-island/

This reporter travelled as a guest of XXXX Island.