The little things you could miss when going on a Florida vacation
An Aussie who went all the way to Florida for the joys of Disneyland discovered some unheard-of gems.
For those of you who haven’t visited America, the little things are the most interesting.
When I went to Florida for the first time, I knew I was going there for the big attractions: Disney World, Universal Orlando, the gorgeous beaches along the southeast coast of the US. These are things I was excited for, but not surprised by.
But when you’re so excited about the big things on a vacation, the real surprises come in smaller sizes.
For example, everyone knows you drive on the right hand side of the road in America; but I was so used to Australian roads that my girlfriend had to stop me from sitting in the driver’s seat every time I walked to the car. The toilet bowls over there are significantly shallower too, and with substantially more water – a fact you might not notice until you suddenly and distressingly do.
So, everyone talks about the big things to do in places like Florida, one of America’s biggest vacation spots. Here are the little things they might not mention about some of the state’s most popular attractions.
Universal Orlando
The most unfortunate part of my trip to Universal Orlando was how good the food was.
A weird thing to say, I know. Disney World has a lot of things going for it, but in terms of food, Universal is on another level.
Whether you’re grabbing a Krusty Burger in the park’s ‘Springfield’ area or getting a classically British meal at one of the Harry Potter restaurants, you’re generally guaranteed to get a good meal for the price you’re paying. That, I have no qualms with.
I’m a littlemore resentful of the fact that the best food you’ll eat in the parks will be at the Minions cafe.
Everything about this cafe screams at you. The walls are a garish yellow, the posters feel like they belong on your mother’s Facebook page and the Wi-Fi cuts out in the cafe building, preventing you from trying to distract yourself while you wait for a meal.
This cafe used to be themed around Universal’s classic Monster movies, but I assure you it’s much more horrifying now.
That’s why it brings me so much pain to tell you that when I bit down into their pork sandwich, complete with Minion-shaped tater tots, I felt like I was having the best meal of my damn life.
Come to Universal for the rides, sure – I don’t know anyone who’s crazy about ‘Race Through New York starring Jimmy Fallon’, but ‘Revenge of The Mummy’ and the VelociCoaster are two of the best I’ve been on in the Northern Hemisphere. But take plenty of time to relax in the parks, too – the meals I had there were the gentle highlights of those hectic and exciting days.
Disney Springs
For those of you who don’t know, Disney World is not the be-all and end-all when it comes to mouse-branded activities to do in Orlando. Disney Springs is a great big outdoor shopping centre located near the parks that has everything you’d expect from a standard mall, along with a few notable extras. The first time I was there with my partner, we didn’t know we were falling for each other at the time – but when we ran past the giant Christmas tree together, dancing and sprinkled in fake snow on the eve of a Floridian winter, I started to figure it out.
This time, after sharing a dance in the middle of the square to some live music, we decided to take on a challenge we’d avoided the last time we visited: the ‘Around the World’ tray at the Coca-Cola store.
Now, this isn’t some Florida or Disney-exclusive thing – go to a big Coke store in America, and you’ll have the chance to do this – but with the store looming right next to the complex’s entrance, the rooftop bar could easily be one of your first stops.
The ‘Around the World’ tray features unique soft drinks from around the world that sit under the Coca-Cola umbrella – from Sour Plum-flavoured Fanta from China to Italy’s Beverly, which is notorious for tasting like mouthwash. Some of these drinks are pretty good, some of these are terrible, and all of it together is too much for one, or even two people, to drink.
We drank it all, of course.
Obviously, I don’t recommend this. The things those drinks did to my body left it a bloated approximation of a person, stapled together by pride and Disney memorabilia. I went to Disney World the next day feeling like a dragon that would bellow puke with the slightest jostle.
Naturally, my first stop was the park’s latest roller coaster.
Disney World
A quick disclaimer: I was very grateful to be offered complimentary tickets from Disney for two of the five days I spent at their four parks, with the remaining three days coming from my own pocket. Those tickets were not conditional on Disney’s part, though they did politely ask me to mention some of their latest attractions.
One of those is the ‘Tron Lightcycle Run’ in Magic Kingdom, one of four theme parks under the larger ‘Disney World’ umbrella. I’m not much of a Tron fan myself, but I am a fan of zooming neon lights; and while the ride is a little short for my liking, it’s still a lot of fun. They place you in seats that make you emulate the classic riding position you see in the Tron films, and it’s a unique way to experience being shot through a track at breakneck speeds.
There’s a lot to talk about when it comes to the whole of Disney World. Each of the four parks is an immersive world unto itself, and it’s that way by design. If you don’t like the kid-friendly ‘Disney Magic’ of Magic Kingdom, you could spend time at Epcot: a park that showcases cultures and food from across the world, which was running their annual ‘Festival of the Arts’ when I was there.
If you’re not one for the movie-themed rides at Hollywood Studios – their Star Wars area is a personal favourite – you could go to Animal Kingdom, an entire zoo inside of a theme park. It’s there that I experienced one of my favourite moments from the whole trip: when my partner and I spotted a pancake tortoise teetering on the edge of a rock in its enclosure, about to fall right on its back.
While one of the workers radio’d for help getting it right-side up, the tortoise kept trying to wedge itself against a rock – cruelly ignored by its only friend within the tank. I’d describe how I felt when the tortoise flipped itself back over, but the cheers we all let out speak for themselves.
Florida’s Day-to-Day
The thing about Florida is – and I really don’t mean this as a slight – it’s not my favourite vacation spot.
In 2022, I spent what was left of my meagre savings travelling from state to state across the US, and I visited a lot of places I’d kill to see again. But I could afford to do that trip because I knew people who lived there: friends who housed me, who encouraged me to stop and smell the roses.
That’s why I think so much of Florida. I think about finding Portuguese man o’ wars on the coast of Cocoa Beach as much as I think about watching the fireworks show at Epcot. I think about watching a SpaceX rocket launch near Cape Canaveral as much as I think about eating dinner in a nearby Waffle House at midnight. I think about these moments, because each of them was shared with the same person.
Florida is where I fell in love.
When people quote philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre’s famous line, “Hell is other people”, they sometimes add that the same is true of Heaven. That makes sense to me; with the right person by your side, you can make the other side of the world feel like a home.
Of course, we know that Hell is not “other people”. Hell is the Minions Cafe. Sartre got that bit wrong, I think.
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