A guide to nude beach etiquette

IT MIGHT seem like a carefree adventure, but there’s an unwritten rule book to nude beach going. Before you disrobe, you will need to know this.

THE FIRST time I visited a nude beach I was terrified. Feeling awkward and anxious in my hotel room — I peered out the window into the blazing sun. I put on layer after layer of sunblock on my haloumi-hued skin.

Finally, I stepped outside and set off for Huk Beach in Oslo. Moments later I was huddled tentatively in my birthday suit on the “textile-free” section of sand. My skin was so white I was like a light house.

There were all ages, shapes and sizes on the beach — a couple with a toddler, three friends who had ridden their bikes and an older women reading a book. These carefree locals looked like they’d been visiting nude beaches for years.

After spending the afternoon au naturel, I began to learn there was a set of unwritten rules in this naked world. Later, I approached an expert to corroborate some of these hunches I had when I first visited a nude beach. His first piece of advice was around humour.

“If you’re at the airport, you don’t make jokes about bombs. When you’re with nudists you don’t make jokes about breasts,” said Mark Haskell Smith, who spent one year travelling the world starkers to research his book Naked at Lunch.

Mark Haskell Smith bushwalking naked.

Mark Haskell Smith researching cruising naked.

Nude beach etiquette is common sense stuff, he explains.

“You don’t want to make other people uncomfortable, so generally there’s no staring or leering. No sexual innuendo or any kind of behaviour that might be considered ‘creepy’,” he tells news.com.au.

Australia has an abundance of choice when it comes to nude beaches. Flickr Amanda

Haskell Smith devotes several chapters in his book to trying to answer why many European cultures are so relaxed with nudity compared to other Western countries.

“The US is much more uptight than Australia, but in the States it comes from the fact that our culture was founded by religious fanatics who left Europe because it was too liberal,” he says.

“Just look at art history and you’ll see the Greeks and Romans had plenty of naked men and women in their art, where the English and American cultures covered everything up.

“That idea that nudity is some kind of sexual activity and sex is a sin stems from the early Puritans.

“But nowadays I think it’s because we’re bombarded with images of ‘perfect’ bodies in the media: the only people we see naked are movie stars or models, and that gives us a very unhealthy self-image and makes us afraid to be naked.

“Public nudity, like the kind practised on hundreds of beaches in Europe, is a way to reclaim our bodies, to develop a healthier attitude about how we and other people look.”

Here are some tips you might want to follow if you’re a nude bathing newbie:

• Before you strip off check that you’re definitely at a nude beach. You don’t want to get arrested in your birthday suit for indecent exposure.

• Next, if you’re going to the beach with your friends, make sure you can trust them. You don’t want to be left stranded after your “friends” have run off with your clothes.

• One item you don’t need to pack is your camera. Even if you’re just carrying a camera or phone you’re going to make people feel quite uncomfortable.

• Watch out for insects and sunburn — some areas of your body might not have seen the sun since you were a baby.

• Take something to read.

Here are some places to visit:

GET NUDE IN AUSTRALIA

Although we might not be as liberal as the Europeans, Australia has an abundance of choice when it comes to nude beaches. Here are the standouts: Sydney’s Lady Bay Beach; Sunny North Beach in Victoria’s Mount Eliza; Queensland’s Cow Bay; North Swanbourne Beach in Perth; and Alexandria Bay in Noosa in Queensland.

SHOP IN A NUDE CITY IN FRANCE

Cap d’Agde in the south of France does not just have a nude beach — rather it’s the world’s biggest purpose-built nude town. Once you get by the security fence (which keeps out paparazzi and the curious), every facet of ordinary life is here — a bank, a post office, hairdressers, fishmongers, opticians and several supermarkets.

SUNBAKE IN NAKED ZONES IN GERMANY

There’s plenty of nude folks in Munich. Last year Munich, one of Germany’s most popular destinations, created six urban naked zones. One zone is barely 10 minutes from Munich’s main square. Sunbathing naked is common across Germany, where the first naturist beach was set up back in 1920.

RELAX AT A NAKED RESORT IN THE US

Desert Sun Resort in Palm Springs, California, is a Spanish-style adults-only nude resort. Located less than 2km from Palm Springs International Airport, at this resort you can do plenty of things in your birthday suit — tennis, basketball, float in the saltwater pool or play a game of pool volleyball.

* Naked at Lunch by Mark Haskell Smith is published by Nero ($27.99)

Continue the conversation on Twitter @newscomauHQ | @LeahMcLennan