13 things your flight attendant won’t tell you

EVER wondered what flight attendants are secretly thinking about you? Here are 13 things they won’t tell you, but you really need to know.

What flight attendants are really thinking ... Picture: Thinkstock

EVER wondered what flight attendants are secretly thinking about you?

Here’s a hint, if you want to avoid landing on their bad side, don’t whinge to them about all your midair problems and whatever you do, don’t treat them like your personal maids!

Here’s a list of 13 things cabin crew won’t actually tell you, but you should know, according to Reader’s Digest.

1. Don’t poke or grab me!

No one likes to be poked, but it’s even worse on the plane because you’re sitting down and we’re not, so it’s usually in a very personal area. You don’t grab a waitress if you want a fork!

2. Don’t tell me all your problems

Passengers are always coming up to me and dobbing on each other. ”Can you tell him to put his seat up?” “She won’t share the armrest.” What am I, a teacher?

3. Can’t you wait a moment?

Do you really have to go to the bathroom right now, while we’re wrestling a 113 kilogram food cart down the aisle?

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4 . Pay attention

If you hear us paging for a doctor, or see us running around with oxygen and first aid kits, it’s not the right time to ask for a Diet Coke.

5. Mind your child

If you’re travelling with a small child and you keep hearing bells, please see if it’s your child playing with the flight attendant call bell.

6. I’m not your maid

Want to start off on the wrong foot with me? Put your carry-on in a full overhead bin, leave it sticking out, then take your seat at the window and wait for someone else (me!) to come along and fix it.

6. It’s plane simple

The lavatory door is not rocket science. Push it.

7 . Office supplies are not my job

If you’re travelling overseas, do yourself a favour and bring a pen for those immigration forms. I have a few, but I can’t carry 200!

8. Some locations suck

I hate working flights to destinations like Vail and West Palm Beach. The passengers all think they’re in first class even if they’re not, and they don’t do what we ask.

9. We’re not being lazy for not lifting your bag

Our rules really say we aren’t allowed to lift your luggage into the overhead bin for you, though we can “assist”.

We aren’t allowed to lift your bag into the overhead bin. Picture: Thinkstock

10. Politeness goes a long way

Is it that difficult to say hello and goodbye? We say it 300 times on every flight, and only a handful of people respond.

11. Keep others in mind

Don’t clip your toenails or do any type of personal business under a blanket!

12. Come well-equipped

For example, if you have a baby, bring nappies. That way, I’m not trying to make a nappy out of a sanitary pad and a pillowcase!

13. I need some gloves ... ewww

Do you really expect me to take your dirty tissue with my bare hands?

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