Toddler friendly Thailand

CAN toddlers and travel mix in tropical paradise? According to this family, not only is it possible, you can even have fun doing it.

Thailand Phi Phi Island

I FEEL like I'm carrying Elvis Presley on my hip.

Swooning young women stop and stare, pinch his cheeks, cradle his face, pose for photos with him, ogle from passing cars and, most disconcertingly for both of us, plant big smooches on his lips. Family Holiday Ideas I might expect such fascination with my blond-haired, blue-eyed toddler, Liam, off the beaten track. But it comes as a shock in ultra-touristy Phuket, especially in chaotic Bangla Rd, the main strip of sex-and-beer party centre Patong, where the hordes of ocker Aussie accents are as ubiquitous as the calls for, "You want massage?" from the gaggles of pretty young Thai women spruiking for business outside massage parlours. There are two rules when travelling overseas with two boisterous toddlers. The first is: DON'T do it – ever. The second is: if you break the first rule, choose somewhere easy for you and fun for tots – on this, Thailand delivers in spades. Our Phuket adventure delivers a series of unforgettable moments: Liam, 1, feeds a huge elephant; Matisse, 3, kayaks with me to Monkey Beach, where we hang out with the playful monkeys; my partner and I bottle-feed a "baby" tiger; we see Asia's spectacular answer to Cirque du Soleil, complete with more than a dozen performing elephants on stage; and we take an emergency ride to hospital in a clunky old tuk-tuk. Even Phuket's famous sex culture has its intrigues for an innocent toddler. "But I want to go see the ladyboys show!" the three-year-old demands when I suggest we see the elephant show instead. So it's back to Bangla Rd one night, when it's closed off to cars and becomes a lively promenade, to watch the ladyboys – men who dress, act and identify as women – gyrating to music on a platform beside the street while mostly Aussie tourists stop and watch in fascination. Meanwhile, pushing a pram with two toddlers doesn't stop my partner being asked, "You want to see a pingpong show?". Phuket's family side Child worship aside, Phuket turns out to be an ideal destination for toddlers, thanks to its great beaches for sand play and swimming, hot weather, family-friendly attractions and intimate encounters with wild animals. Phuket has stepped up as the perfect destination for young Aussie families with two recent developments. The first is the launch of V Australia's direct flights from Melbourne and Brisbane to Phuket. The second is the launch of Club Med Phuket's Baby Club, the first Club Med in the Asia-Pacific region to open a Baby Club. While many resorts offer kids' clubs for toddlers and older children, Baby Club Med hosts babies from four months up with highly trained staff. It's no joke that you'll feel like you need a holiday after coming home from any "holiday" with toddlers, and child-free time while away is the surest way to return with your sanity mostly intact. Club Med pioneered the all-inclusive holiday, and the best way to get value for money is to partake in the many activities included free. Drop the kids off at 9am at Baby Club Med (four months to two years), Petit Club Med (2-4), Mini Club Med (4-11) and Teens Club (11-17) and you're faced with hours of me-time and endless options to fill them. Yoga, golf, water aerobics, snorkelling, bungee trampoline, flying trapeze, tennis, archery and a gym are among the activities covered free within the all-inclusive rates. Mealtimes offer a ludicrously vast array of extravagant buffets of Asian and Western food. Or just sit in Club Med's open bar, looking out over the ocean, drink whatever you like whenever you like at no extra cost, and take a dip in the huge pool if you get too warm. Cross the quiet road from Club Med, with its lush green tropical gardens and swaying palm trees, to the stunning beach, perfect for swimming, and much quieter than the packed beaches at Patong, half an hour's drive away. At the end of the day, we collect the children from Baby Club Med and Petit Club Med, where they have had their own adventures making sandcastles, exploring at the beach, learning origami and playing with their new multinational mates. The brightly painted and good-as-new facilities in the kids' clubs outshine your average Australian childcare centre, including a baby pool, a toddler pool and excellent outdoor playgrounds. Onto adventure One way to combine a romantic couple holiday with a family fun adventure holiday, and keep costs down, is to split your holiday between Club Med and a family-friendly hotel. On Day 4, we check out of Club Med, cross the road on foot, and one minute later, we're checking into Ibis Phuket Kata. With its two pools, restaurant and family rooms with bunk beds and toys, this makes the perfect base for the second half of our Phuket holiday, our family adventure. We find the easiest and cheapest way to get around Phuket is by tuktuk, a small open-sided van with no back doors that operates as a meterless taxi. But as safety-conscious parents back home who would never let our children travel without proper car seats, it makes us laugh that we're happy to slide around in the back of a bumpy tuk-tuk, kids on our knees, hanging out the open windows. Outside, helmet-free Thais on motorbikes – often three or four to a bike ��� zoom past us, and utes speed by with up to a dozen locals standing in the back on the way to work. On Day 6, we take a ferry to the paradise-like Phi Phi Islands, and cruise past Maya Beach, where 2000 movie The Beach starring Leonardo DiCaprio was filmed. We stop at tourist magnet Monkey Beach, where most of the boat's guests unload into the water to snorkel amid the colourful sea life. I paddle Matisse on a kayak out to Monkey Beach, where we laugh as the monkeys swing on the trees and happily accept fruit offered by hand from tourists. On Day 7, we head in the afternoon to Phuket FantaSea, a giant theme park that's part-Vegas and part- Disneyland, with wild animals, elephant rides and a "theatrical safari". Liam gamely holds out a banana for an elephant, his fingers vanishing up the trunk for a moment along with the fruit. Liam's look of bewilderment is priceless. At 9pm, visitors are ushered into the majestic Palace of the Elephants for the Fantasy of a Kingdom show. We're led down a corridor lined with elephants and tigers, their minders spruiking photo opportunities. My partner and I bottlefeed a hungry "baby" tiger, not much smaller than me, an exhilarating yet terrifying experience. I can't take my eyes off the powerful paw groping my hand, and pray the claws stay in. Our only hiccup in Phuket comes when Liam topples off a chair in a restaurant and smashes his head on the floor, his forehead instantly popping out a huge dark-coloured egg. We jump into the nearest tuk-tuk and rush him to Phuket International Hospital, where we find treatment better than any we've found in Australia.  Two hours later, we're on our way by tuk-tuk back to the hotel after paying the hospital bill for a mere 800 baht, or about $29. Travelling with toddlers, it's a relief to know excellent treatment is only a few minutes away. It's just one more notch in the belt for family-friendly Phuket. Top Tips: Thailand Destination Guide Advice: How to avoid travel mistakes The author was a guest of V Australia, Club Med and Ibis.