What foreigners really think of Australians

Trawl these threads on the internet and you’ll soon get an interesting, no-holds-barred insight into what our overseas friends really think of us.

As a country, Australia is a long, long way away from many other parts of the world.

As such, many people have formed an impression of Australians that is often taken from pop culture (ie we all look like Miranda Kerr, we’re absolute weapons in a swimming race, and we’re not scared to tackle a crocodile if it gets in our way.)

How disappointed tourists must be when they arrive here and we don’t all look like this.

If you trawl internet forums you get a fascinating insight into what many foreigners (some who have been here, some who haven’t) think of Australian people.

These are some of the most entertaining observations we found.

WE GAMELY LIVE AMONG TERRIFYING WILDLIFE

Paul Hogan’s character in ‘Crocodile Dundee’ has a lot to answer for.

It’s a common perception among foreigners that we Aussies are crocodile-wrestling Steve Irwin types who have extreme animal encounters daily. It is undeniable that we live on an island with our fair share of species that can kill you, as Domhnall O’Huigin beautifully put it in this excellent post on this Quora thread. I’m putting it here in full because it’s well worth a read:

“The [Australian] fauna? Nuke it from orbit. I wouldn’t set foot in the bloody place without a tank. Everything either wants to poison you, eat you or lay its eggs in you (then eat you).

Consider:

Koala bears. Fluffy wuffy little critters, cute, ain’t they? No. Permanently stoned off their pea-sized brains on Eucalyptus (see below) they are the methamphetamine addicts of the marsupial world. Have your face off with their claws soon as look at you.

Don’t be fooled. He’ll have you. Photo Lachie Millard

Duck-billed platypus. It’s a joke right? That is what the National Geographic Society thought when the first specimens were sent back to Blighty – someone’s having a laugh. Beak of a duck? Body of a beaver? Lays eggs? Pull the other one, it has bells on. So when you are picking one up and laughing at it you’ll be delighted to know the male has poisonous spurs on the back of its wrists that will liven up your evening no end.

Kangaroos. Fill the same ecological niche as sheep in normal parts of the world. Unlike sheep: Can disembowel you.

Salties. For Christ’s sake.

Contrary to popular belief, a verrrrrry small percentage of Australians would be cool with this situation. Pic Channel 10.

Great Whites and Bull sharks: see salties above.

Eucalyptus trees. The only arsonists of the plant kingdom. Come from Oz. Coincidence? Have you read anything I’ve written so far?

My personal, all-time favourites: Redback and funnel-web spiders. Not only do these feckers make their homes under toilet seats and so on, their specific toxin was evolved 240 million years ago to precisely target primates – a group that didn’t even exist on their bloody hell-island until (max) 100,000 years ago. That isn’t an evolutionary adaptation, that is unreasoning hatred for serial killer-style kicks and giggles.

If you think I am overreacting or being somewhat excitable, please consider I have not even touched on snakes (Australia is blessed with an abundance of the most lethal in the world), jellyfish (ditto), parasitic worms (ditto ditto) or various other delights such as the Tasmanian devil (hint: not as cute as the cartoon).”

To be fair, you could probably out-run a baby one. Picture: Aussie Ark

OUR SENSE OF HUMOUR IS HARD TO NAVIGATE

This is one that was brought up over and over again on online forums. Whether the commenter was British, American or from other parts of the world, people were baffled by the Australian sense of humour … which seems to largely revolve around taking the piss out of people.

It turns out that this – one of our favourite national pastimes – just doesn’t translate.

“The Australians’ dry, self-deprecating, sarcastic, teasing humour – which is even harder to navigate when the accent and slang is thrown into the equation – can confuse visitors so don’t take offence if an Aussie’s making fun of you, because it means they like you,” explained a writer on The Culture Trip.

“You actually want to be the butt of the joke, the subject of the piss-take.”

However, a number of people also said Australians in general are good-humoured and commented that the “loveable larrikin” stereotype is often actually true.

“These no nonsense people will put a smile on their faces even when they are disagreeing with you” wrote an American visitor on Quora.

WE LOVE AN ABBREVIATION

This one we can’t deny. Linguistically, we’re a little lazy and if we can shorten a word then we damn well will.

That right there? That’s a servo.

It’s a habit that was noted on a blog post titled “10 things only Australians will understand”, with the observer writing: “Down in ’Straya – the frankly awful abbreviation of the country’s own name – you’ll hear arvo (afternoon), exxy (expensive), avo (avocado), cuppa (cup of tea), choccybiccy (chocolate biscuit), servo (service station), mozzie (mosquito), and the delightful tradie, postie, garbo, muso, and truckie (tradesman, postman, garbage truck driver, musician, and truck driver) … among dozens more.”

WE SWEAR AN AWFUL LOT

This came up a lot too. Our casual use of the swear word made a number of our overseas friends blush.

As an American put it, “It may take a while to get used to some of the most colourful English language varietals on the planet.”

Coming to Australia? Buy your children some ear muffs. Otherwise they’re going to hear some fun new words. Picture: iStock

WE’RE OBEDIENT

On a thread titled, “What do people outside of Australian think of us Aussies” a number of people commented on the fact that plenty of Australians follow the rules (and that we have plenty of them).

James Rosten, an American living in Australia, wrote: “Far from being a rough place, these are some of the most governed free people on the planet, and everyone expects everyone else to follow the rules.

“Forget to indicate right before turning, and you may get more than one beep of the horn behind you. People know the rules and put those who wish to violate them in their place without much delay.”

WE’RE REALLY FRIENDLY

British traveller Joanna writes in her blog post First Impressions of Australia:

“On my first day I went shopping. I walked into a clothes shop and was greeted by a smiley shop assistant. It wasn’t a fake, forced English smile, but a broad, genuine smile of a person, who is happy to see you. ‘How ya’ goin’?’ she asked with an Australian slang.

“Til now, after 10 days of being here, I still feel a little confronted by people greeting me in this way, like they’ve known me for ages. After 10 years of living in London, I straight away think that a stranger, who is nice to me, must have an agenda on their mind, or they are simply a psycho, looking for their next victim.

“Here, people are nice, without any reason. They simply want to make your and their lives more pleasant. It is a wonderful part of this country and one that I will definitely miss after I leave.”

WE’RE A SPORTY BUNCH

The general perception seems to be that we are all deft athletes, like Brittany Elmslie. Picture: Patrick B. Kraemer

The fact that as a country we tend to do well at the Olympic Games has given foreigners the impression that pretty much every single one of us is a fine physical specimen. One of the best descriptions on a Reddit thread was “Australians are fresh, athletic, robust and capable”.

We’ll take it.

“They can swim faster, jumper higher and hail a taxi from further with their fearsome two-fingered whistles than any previous culture known to humanity,” wrote an anonymous poster on this Quora thread.

WE’RE ALL FARM TYPES

Films like The Man From Snowy River, Baz Luhrmann’s Australia and the fact that our country has prospered off the back of wool production seem to have given many foreigners the idea that we’re all at home on the land.

As an American put it on this Quora thread, Australians are “like Americas cowboys, except Aussies are sheep boys.”

Whatever that means.

We can, presumably, blame Hugh Jackman in ‘Australia’ for giving everyone the impression we’re all ‘sheep boys’.

WE’RE TALL

Last but not least, this statement from an Indian commenter about his impressions of Australians on a Quora thread really takes the cake:

“Tall chaps, hard to understand. Tall women, every sentence seems to be a question.”