The simple thing I learnt when I went off the grid for three weeks

NO PHONES, no showers — not even a mirror. Three weeks in these conditions could have been a disaster, but there was something simple I discovered.

How’s the serenity? Picture: Miranda Luby

ABOUT 10 days into my recent three-week Tassie camping adventure, I felt it. I’d woken up, done that tent-shimmy thing into my dirt-encrusted jeans and salty flannie, and as I slipped out into the sound of morning bird calls, a sort of airy lightness, as free-feeling happiness took over.

At first I attributed it to nature and being away from the computer. But the more I thought about where the feeling was coming from, the more I realised it was related to my self-esteem. I was feeling good about myself. Really good about myself.

That voice in my head that points out my bad hair day and imperfect tummy and random adult pimple was gone. Vanished. Poof! In fact, I wasn’t thinking anything negative about the way I look at all which, as a woman (I’m sure most of you would agree), is pretty rare.

But why? Why was I feeling so good about myself when I knew, logically, all the things I usually don’t like about myself still existed. Then it hit me. No mirrors.

A dip in Tasmania. Picture: Miranda Luby

MIRROR, MIRROR EVERYWHERE

Have you ever noticed how many reflective surfaces surround us? If you’re a woman, then the answer is more than likely yes. Not just the mirrors in our bedrooms and bathrooms and hallways, not just the ones in elevators and cars and changing rooms, but even shop windows, glass doors and other people’s sunglasses reflect our world back to us.

Everywhere we look we see ourselves. And trust me, I’m looking.

It’s not a vanity thing. I don’t think I’m alone in noticing almost every one of these reflections I encounter during my day and making some sort of judgment about them — usually negative. I think people (women in particular) are trained this way, to notice our reflections. To check up on the way we look. To make sure we’re fitting in with the standards of beauty dictated to us. It’s almost subconscious.

But it wasn’t until I spent three weeks camping, until I stopped seeing my own reflection 50 times a day, that I realised what a negative effect mirrors were having on me. Because constantly seeing yourself makes you constantly think about how you look, and unless you have improbably high self-esteem (or even if you do) constantly thinking about how you look is exhausting, boring and unhelpful.

Self-esteem game strong. Picture: Miranda Luby

THE ART OF NOT GIVING A F***

Camping is known to encourage a drop in standards. In terms of hygiene, a jump in the river every third day will do and I’m definitely not turning away a bowl of steaming MSG-laden two-minute noodles by the camp fire. And in the same way the lack of showers and fresh food force us to relax certain values, a lack of reflective surfaces forces us to stop caring about how we look — or at least stop knowing how we truly look which tends to morph into not caring because, well, what are you going to do?

At first this is a little uncomfortable. I found myself asking my camping buddies if I’ve got food in my teeth or my hair’s doing anything completely crazy. Not because I’ve got anyone to impress but more because I’m trained like this. I’m trained to care about how I look. Constantly. But after a few days (read: two weeks) I truly started to not give a f***. Ahhhh, the freedom.

And it was this freedom from caring — something I’m definitely not used to in my daily life — that caused such an airy lightness. The space in my mind, usually taken up by negative thoughts about my appearance, was left as just that: space. Non-judgemental, happy, mindful, space. Now that’s worth taking a trip for.

Bye, mirrors. Picture: Miranda Luby

BACK TO REALITY

Of course, the camping trip ended and before I knew it I was back in a world of mirrors. But while the reflective surfaces had returned, my previous over-thinking about how I appear didn’t resurface right away. Now that I’d experienced first-hand what a negative effect mirrors were having on me (or what a positive effect a lack of them could have) I knew I could do something to improve myself esteem without ‘improving’ my looks or even changing the way I thought about myself.

So, I removed some mirrors.

In my bedroom now, there is no way to see my appearance. The first thing I do when I wake up isn’t stare back at myself from the cupboard and moan about how tired I look. I open the window and drink in the bird sounds. By a happy coincidence, the sun visor in my car (that little thing you check your lippy in) broke off a while ago and I’ve never bothered to replace it.

On the (off) road again. Picture: Miranda Luby

I’m trying to go for some more durable makeup and clothing (no lipstick, white outfits and hair tied up) most days to stop myself having to check my reflection when I go to the bathroom.

So far, it’s bliss.

Ideally, of course, we would be able to use mirrors for practical reasons without judging ourselves negatively or thinking an unhelpful amount about our appearance but this takes time and practice — I can minimise the mirrors in my life right now.

Perhaps a new trend is in need. The mirror detox. I’m calling it.

Can you just let me know if I have something in my teeth?

This article originally appeared on Whimn and is republished here with permission.