Why Canberra is my No.1 spot to see out the corona-pocalypse
This globe-trotter reckons there’s an obvious spot to bunker down — and not only does it have great booze, he swears there’s a ready supply of toilet paper.
The more coronavirus hogs the news headlines, the more I yearn for somewhere safe. Somewhere predictable. Somewhere I can get a stiff drink. Somewhere like … Canberra. In recent weeks I’ve given it some thought and concluded Canberra could well be the best place to see out the corona-pocalypse.
It’s handy to get to (as opposed to, say, Antarctica, my preferred sanctuary); there are hardly any people (therefore less chance of infection); and, given the preponderance of politicians, you can be certain that any emergency health measures/vaccines/toilet paper will be delivered there before the rest of Australia.
Plus, there’s booze. Really good quality booze served in fancy glassware at cool bars across the Bush Capital. And the one thing I’m going to need to get through this global panic is lots of liquid amnesia.
• See also: 10 best things to do in Canberra
• See also: Coronavirus: What travellers need to know
Perhaps inspired by the tendency of Australian governments to legislate against fun, Canberra has an unusually high number of speak-easies – underground bars that channel the covert drinking habits of the Prohibition era.
Molly, named the city’s top cocktail bar in 2019, is a fine example. Its website lists its address only as GPS co-ordinates, which feels a bit like having to pass an IQ test to get a drink. Google reveals an actual physical address – “Wooden door, Odgers Lane” – which is hardly more helpful to someone like me who has trouble finding where I last parked my car. Eventually, a young couple takes pity and points me to a doorway behind some dumpsters, lit by a single bulb.
RELATED: A complete travel guide to visiting the Blue Mountains
RELATED: How to spend the ultimate weekend on the NSW South Coast
At the top of a staircase there’s another door, which opens to reveal a cosy, lantern-lit club with a shiny copper bar serving barrel-aged cocktails and hundreds of whiskies from around the world. The vibe is lively and a bit loose, set to a backing track of jazz including live performances on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays. Party groups can book the private vault down the back, furnished with crystal chandeliers, coffered ceilings, leather lounges and its own turntable.
This is also the venue for private tastings of whiskies and gins and classes in how to mix Prohibition-era cocktails.
In the same laneway but far easier to find – look up and follow the lights and music – is Highball Express, Molly’s Plantation-style sister bar inspired by all things Cuban (and Latino, generally). Expect flamboyant cocktails, tropical punches and barrel rums accompanied by Latin and reggaeton sounds and occasional live samba performances.
RELATED: How this famous zoo recovered from the bushfires
Around the corner on London Circuit, upstairs in the Art Deco-handsome Melbourne Building, Bar Rochford is a sophisticated wine bar of arched windows, leather banquettes in parliamentary green and obligatory concrete floors and painted bricks. The wine list is an intriguing mix of uncommon locals and internationals; staff will happily steer guests to something good. The kitchen menu is a decent size and tastefully done, with bougie crowd-pleasers such as Padrón peppers, steak tartare with cheddar cheese and gurnard fish in saffron and honey.
“What I like about this place is that we get the art students, the really cool kids; we get the mums and dads, the wealthy lawyers, the public servants and the musos,” says owner Nick Smith. “It’s a place for everyone.”
In the slick lakeside NewActon precinct (home to the designer Ovolo Nishi hotel, formerly Hotel Hotel), Parlour Wine Room is a veteran lounge bar that’s both indoor and outdoor, suited to young and old, with fruit-forward house cocktails and a wine list loyal to Canberra district growers. The concise, please-all lunch menu of burgers, pasta, seafood and salad shifts into tapas mode at night.
The foyer of the QT Canberra hotel is best-known for its pop-art portraits of famous and infamous politicians, less so for the speak-easy hidden behind its barber shop. Open only Friday and Saturday nights, Lucky’s Speakeasy is the least inspired of Canberra’s obscure bars; it feels more corporate function place than clandestine drinking hole but could be fun for larger gatherings.
Craft breweries are also big in the national capital. The most impressive is Capital Brewing Co, which occupies a sprawling complex in industrial Fyshwick that seats 200 indoors and more than 600 in the tree-shaded courtyard. Patrons are treated to a dozen pouring beers, a food truck serving burgers and hotdogs, and a tap room with tastings of more experimental brews such as its barrel-aged Christmas porter with its big, Cherry Ripe attitude. Dogs and children most welcome.
In inner-city Braddon, drop by the bustling, split-level Bentspoke brewpub founded by two-time champion Australian brewer Richard Watkins and Tracy Margrain. They usually run about 16 beers on tap, including a bright red, summer-berry wheat beer and the Barley Griffin pale ale. Beer-friendly foods range from smoked mac ‘n’ cheese balls to Texas chilli braised in Big Nut black IPA.
Besides their fondness for being secret, Canberra bars – or at least their patrons – have a thing for spirit lockers. I saw walls of them at both Molly and Alice-in-Wonderland-themed White Rabbit.
If the End Times are nigh, it sounds far more sensible to stockpile booze than toilet paper.
See also:
• Canberra for kids: Better than Disneyland
• 8 surprising reasons to visit Canberra