New Zealand NetFlix parody promises new ‘contint’ in 2015 including edgy new comedy ‘Friends’

THE bros behind NitFlux, New Zealand’s answer to Netflix, tell us all 11 of their subscribers should be very excited. This is their hilarious offering.

Scenes from the film, Lord of the Rings. Picture: supplied

INTRODUCING NitFlux, the self-appointed “No.1 NZ streaming site in the world” buoyed by 11 subscribers.

The venture by Kiwi entrepreneurs promises an alternative to NetFlix, albeit a modest offering in line with the laid-back lifestyle enjoyed by those across the ditch.

Instead of offering thousands of key titles across its platform like Netflix will when it launches in Australia and NZ later this month, NitFlux promises just six videos, including Lord of the Rungs, Lord of the Rungs 2, Avatar, Black Sheep and Whale Rider, each “fast-tracked from America, to Australia, then Fiji, down through Tonga, up to Samoa, and directly to the company’s global headquarters in Fakatanay.”

Lord of the Rungs and Lord of the Rungs 2 are BOTH available on NitFlux.

The bros behind NitFlux, a completely-legitimate enterprise we’re assured, told news.com.au that the brand is off to a red-hot start.

“T-shirt sales have gone through the roof, we are contacting manufacturers as we speak, and anticipate shipping to commence within three years,” the NitFlux team said. “Our landlines here in Fakatanay are going off the hook!”

Pressed for details on the technological demands of the service, the NitFlux team said the land of the long white cloud would cope, even if their own servers can’t.

UPDATE: all our server is currently down. We apologise for any inconvenience. We anticipate having it up and running again in 2-3 weeks.

— NitFluxNZ (@NitFluxNZ) March 31, 2015

Oh wait, it was just a fault SCART cable. Fuxed it! pic.twitter.com/qDOFbOHacG

— NitFluxNZ (@NitFluxNZ) March 31, 2015

“In order to get the most out of our service, we recommend that our users have at least one colour television, a VCR, one SCART cable and a functioning internet modem connuction. Failing that, you can head on down to the dairy and pick up a fax machine, which may also suffice. Please note, reception is best in wide open spaces, namely, paddocks.”

So the future is bright for NitFlux?

“Yis, we are super pumped,” the group said.

“We will soon be releasing our seventh video on our site, the Season One finale of The Walking Dead, and next week we are introducing a new series, Friends, an edgy comedy set in New York which is going to be BUG!

“Long term though, we are really going to get behind the next bug tichnology, the HD-DVD Video Discs.”

Subscription costs $66 a week, which includes a packet of pineapple lumps. Application forms for NitFlux can be downloaded at www.nitflux.co.nz.

Big things are coming. Picture courtesy NitFlux.

And yes, news.com.au is aware today is April 1. We’re not sure whether Nitflux will be available outside April Fool’s Day.