‘Like I wasn’t human’: Vile online bullying laid bare
A West Australian influencer has opened up about the vile abuse she receives online – and the very creative way she is getting back at bullies.
An influencer has opened up about the vile abuse she receives online from complete strangers – and the very creative way she is getting back at internet bullies.
Sadly, Hayli Hooper is no stranger to bullying. She was picked on throughout high school and when she began gaining followers online, it felt like everyone had something to say.
Now at 38 years old, the West Australian says she has “heard it all”. Nevertheless, she says it can still sting.
She is now sharing her story to help raise awareness of online bullying, while also encouraging anyone experiencing abuse online to speak out.
“Doing what I do, you have to have a thick skin,” Hayli told news.com.au.
“Having an online presence, you have to learn to take the good with the bad. People will always have something to say.
“I do adult content creation alongside my regular job as a nurse, and strangers take issue with it.
“They’ll say things like I’m past my prime, or that I’m like ‘mutton’. Just cruel.
“People don’t view you as a human. Really. You’re just someone online.
“And they think that they can get away with saying something, no repercussions.”
She highlights how many bullies are simply “keyboard warriors” and often find the courage to say mean things from behind an anonymous account.
“It’s always from profiles that have no pictures and no followers,” she said.
“They will start messaging mean things very passive aggressively. I remember there was a person that was commenting on every single picture I had.
“He would call me ‘Mutton’, say that I’m old, that I am past my use-by date.
“And I’m like, you’re the person that has taken the time to follow me. I don’t follow you.
“So what does that say about your life?
“It is truly so sad that bullies take time out of their day to do that.”
Hayli takes pride in “naming and shaming” people who choose to send her abusive and cruel messages online.
She will often post their messages, along with their names and profiles, to her 60,000 followers.
“I will always name and shame these people,” she said.
“I’ll take screenshots of them and post them on my stories, so they realise there are repercussions for their actions.
“You can’t just say things to a stranger and expect that there is never going to be backlash.
“After I did that for quite a while, I got a lot less negative feedback, but they still come through.”
Interestingly, Hayli notes there is a distinct difference between the type of bullying she cops on Facebook and Instagram.
“There is a huge difference between the negative feedback on both platforms,” she explained.
“Facebook seems to attract an older demographic with a narrow mindset, whereas Instagram gets them younger.
“So while there might be a bit of backlash on Instagram, there’s often far more people that have a rational understanding about what I do.
“Whereas Facebook would be like ‘Oh, she should be so ashamed or bury her head in the sand’ sort of thing.
“I have actually taken time to learn not to argue back because it just eggs them on. The people are very misinformed.
“They think they’re entitled to their opinion about other people’s lives”
The bullying does impact her mentally, Hayli revealed. Despite this, she said she has learnt to get through it and cope in her own way.
“It absolutely does affect your mental state,” she said.
“It gives you depression. It makes you think that you’re not going to find love or be accepted, because that is a common consensus of people.
“But to be fair, I also set up a pretty strong mindset and there are a lot of people who are very supportive.”
Hayli started working as a nurse four years ago as she always had an innate desire to help people.
“I’ve done an enrolled nursing diploma, and then I converted into a Bachelor of science, registered nursing,” she said.
“Studied straight for about four years. I do a lot of agency nursing and work across the board in hospital, disability, aged care and dementia.
“I love acute nursing. I prefer to help someone in a moment of need.
“I like the adrenaline of it. I like to help people. And particularly with the elderly.
“It reminds me of my grandmother. It is really sad how Australians do not take care of the elderly.
“Families don’t seem to have that unity that other cultures do.”
She said she finds this line of work “extremely rewarding” but admits some people take issue with her two different professions.
“I get a lot of backlash about being a nurse and doing online content creation,” she said.
“It really annoys me. I’ve had people say I am a ‘disgrace to nursing’ or that I must be bad at it.
“But there is no association with my nursing job and what I do online.
“It does not impact my ability to be a great nurse and my incredible skills.
“I give 100 per cent of myself when I’m at work and I get offered jobs all the time.”
Hayli said these days, she decides not to read too many comments to save her mental health but adds she never lets the bullying get her down.
“I guarantee these people wouldn’t stay to my face,” she laughed.
“They are keyboard warriors. But it is a really serious issue.
“I have a friend that was in quite a few TV shows and she got absolutely slaughtered online. It affected her mental health really badly.
“I’ve chosen not to look at comments anymore. I avoid them.
“I know I’m doing everything with integrity and I am getting further ahead in life than anyone else my age that I know.
“I have no regrets.”
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