Facebook recommended victim Kevin Kantor become friends with his rapist

KEVIN Kantor’s rape came flooding back when the man who raped him popped up in the People You May Know tab on Facebook. He clicked.

‘Facebook recommended my rapist’

KEVIN Kantor had buried deep down the details of the night he was raped.

It all came flooding back when the man who raped him appeared in the ‘People You May Know’ tab on Facebook.

The 22-year-old, who was raped by an acquaintance in Colorado two years ago, revealed the discovery in front of a large crowd at the 2015 College Unions Poetry Slam Invitational last week.

A video of his poem, entitled “People You May Know”, has been viewed more than 380,000 times on YouTube.

Instead of turning off the computer and deleting his account, Kantor started clicking.

“Click. He is dancing with his shirt off. Click. He is eating sushi over a few beers with friends. Click. I know that alley. Click. I killed the memory of that T-shirt,” Kantor recalled.

“I call him ‘The Wolf’ when I write about him. The wolf, so as to make him as storybook as possible.”

Kantor told news.com.au the experience was confronting but clicking through and deciding to write a poem about it was “incredibly liberating”.

“The piece was a difficult one to write but poetry and performance has always been the means through which I’ve exorcised my demons,” he said.

“It was my way of finally taking ownership of my experience, when many outside factors had been working to invalidate my feelings and the weight of what had happened.”

The reaction to Kantor’s poem has been overwhelmingly supportive.

@Kevin_Kantor I'm honestly blown away by this.

— Sophie Turner (@SophieT) May 5, 2015

@Kevin_Kantor your poem was so beautiful. Few things have resonated so much with me and that was definitely one of them. You. Are. Amazing.

— Lauren V. Hackett (@lauren_hackett) May 6, 2015

@Kevin_Kantor your poem reaches me tonight in London & I've just watched it for the second time. Really very moving. Well done.

— Rob Chesworth (@RobChesworth) May 5, 2015

I need more from Kevin Kantor.

— ashley arnoult (@ashleyarnoult_) May 5, 2015

The University of Northern Colorado student said the experience has turned into something positive. It has become a platform for him to approach the taboo topic of men raping other men.

“No one comes running for young boys who cry rape,” he said during the performance.

“I hope that people who watch my poem realise that the culture that tells other survivors of sexual violence that they were asking for it is the same culture that asks male survivors why they didn’t fight back,” he told news.com.au.

“I believe that it is absolutely essential that we champion causes of gender equality as a means to be better advocates for all survivors of sexual violence: men, women, trans and gender nonconforming folk.”

The 22-year-old’s poem has been viewed more than 300,000 times.

Aside from his own drive to beat the demons inside his head, Kantor said he was inspired by his brother Adam, whose initial response was to ask “why didn’t you fight back?”.

“I feel it necessary to mention that my brother, Adam, is my biggest inspiration,” he said.

“He raised me and continues to be a source of strength in my life. His reaction was a sobering lesson all in itself: sometimes the people who love you most in your life still don’t know how to handle the aftermath of trauma — it does not mean they don’t love you or that they’re not there for you. Rather, they’re not always properly equipped.”

Kantor will graduate next week and is considering his options. If the response to his standout performance is any indication, public speaking is probably on the cards somewhere.

One thing is certain: he will continue to put himself first.