Embarrassing hairstyles we once thought were cool

We’ve all tried them. Butterfly clips, bangs, tendrils and piggy tails. Do we regret the hairstyles from the early 2000s? Oh, you bet.

Hairstyles have played a huge role in female ‘fashun’ throughout history.

But few women could ever rival the guts, determination and sheer confusion demonstrated by teenage girls in the early 2000s.

Let’s be honest, the noughties were a very busy time for you, for me, and our hair.

We had just discovered the magic of Supre, which taught us that a ra-ra skirt could be effortlessly paired with a spaghetti strap singlet and finished off with a Von Dutch trucker hat.

We were obsessed with girl bands, boy bands and headbands alike.

Body glitter, stick on earrings and scrunchies were a wardrobe staple.

Boys were lame, except if they were Zack Morris from Saved by the Bell or Jonathan Taylor Thomas from Home Improvement.

Trucker hat, check. Tiny shoulder bag, check. Satin bomber jacket check. You’re on fire.

In previous articles, we established that I wasn’t the most fashionable kid in the noughties, but you could never accuse me of not trying new things.

For instance, here I am, with a racer back singlet and a single tendril, that I painstakingly pulled out of my plait.

And there I am again, with a detachable bra strap I manufactured into a headband to tame my curls. It eventually snapped off my huge, exposed forehead.

Tendril for days.

This felt like a good idea at the time.

So, on that mortifying note, here’s a handy guide to the hairstyles we all should have avoided but sadly, did not:

TENDRILS:

A study, conducted by school kids everywhere, found the length of one’s tendrils directly correlated to the amount of *feelings* and *opinions* you had about things.

Also known as ‘skank strands’, these little friends would dangle over our school books, twist their way around our pens and end up in our food. But we’d be damned if we were about to pin them up.

Piggy tails, buns, tendrils and a sea shell. What more could a tween girl want?

FAKE FLOWERS:

Everyone who was anyone knew that the only way to complete an outfit, like a below the knee denim skirt and matching denim jacket, was to slap an oversized fake flower on the side of your head.

It was a wild time to be alive.

The fake flower connected us with nature, accentuated our ‘boho vibes’ and drew the eye to our ears, which is everyone’s best asset.

What better way to show off that obnoxiously sized Ralph Lauren horse on your capped-sleeve tee than with a matching flower, right Reece?

This legitimately used to be one of my usual outfits. Knock off Ralph, obvs.

COLOURED HAIR CHUNKS:

Why do the whole head, when you could just pick a chunk?

Everyone’s hero, Avril Lavigne, taught us that it was OK to be ‘Complicated’ and apply colour to one portion of your head.

Avril’s three commandments will never go out of fashion: Play it straight, use a tie for business and pleasure, and a splash of colour never goes astray.

Love the khol, girl.

HAIR CLIPS:

Torture devices? Or the perfect accessory? I think we all know the answer to that one…

Clips in all shapes and sizes were teen crack in the noughties.

Butterfly clips with movable spring wings, slides with beads stuck on the top, massive claw clips and neon plastic clips fitted on the ends of our humble brag holiday braids.

We had them all.

And if Amanda Bynes doesn’t personify every clip experience, then fire me, because I don’t know who could.

Take careful note of the two, tight clips, close to the centre part and the extending tendrils, slicked and twirled to perfection.

Her outfit is also every first date’s dream: Shapeless shift dress, complete with beaded trim and a denim jacket.

Need I say more?

Amanda Bynes knew how to get it done.

HAIR QUIFFS:

This was a definite *lewk* in the noughties and could be found at every shopping centre food court, cinema and school corridor.

The most popular, of course, was the burnt-flat hair, coupled with a teased up quiff, pinned safely to your skull with a trillion bobby pins.

The bigger the quiff, the bigger the babe, amirite.

Could have gone a bit higher in my opinion, Lauren.

FACE-FRAMING BANGS:

There’s a lot to take in here, bet let’s break it down together.

At one point in life, we begged our mothers to ask the hairdresser to give us ‘choppy layers’ or bangs.

These could be splayed out with a comb and accentuated with hair glitter — girl’s gotta peep that forehead, still!

It also seems Nicole Richie has applied Avril’s first and third commandment with her dead straight, chunky coloured style.

Go, girl!

There were no Simple Life when it came to noughties hairstyles.

HATS AND BEANIES:

These were always worn by the stars of your favourite rom com or after school special, so by default, they were also worn by you.

Beanies, fedoras, tilted flat caps, Von Dutch trucker caps or newsboy caps were a major trend.

Pair your hat of choice with a side ponytail and you’ve got yourself a legitimate *lewk*.

Does the weather even warrant a hat? Pfft, don’t annoy me.

Check J. Lo’s killer sequin vest, by the way.

We were not worthy of Lizzie McGuire, or her tie singlet, matching flat cap and chain belt.

Slouch that beanie, Mandy!

BANDANNAS:

Each year, we’d bring home a different coloured Canteen charity bandana and try to make it work with our wardrobes.

And each year, we would fail. But nothing should ever get in the way of charity, or fashion.

Bandannas were BIG. They kept your hair out of your face and they covered up hair when you didn’t feel like washing it.

And most importantly, they made us feel like we were *thug*, when we were most definitely not.

So much thug, so not us.