Jo Thornely opinion: George Brandis believes in Santa
OUR Attorney General is convinced that climate change isn’t real in the same way a kid is convinced in Santa, writes Jo Thornely.
OPINION
IF YOU ask a bunch of kindergarten kids if Santa Claus exists, even asking them to provide evidence, your research will show almost overwhelmingly that he does.
Here’s a bike he left me and a half-eaten chocolate chip biscuit, mate — of course he exists.
You could even ask other parties — owners of large department stores or wrapping paper manufacturers, for example, to endorse your findings, and come up with a pretty convincing pro-Claus argument.
However, if you broadened your research further to include a proper cross-section of humanity, including people for whom the existence of Santa Claus is less profitable or likely to result in XBoxes, your result will be vastly different.
Senator and Attorney General George Brandis stated in parliament on Tuesday that he doesn’t consider the science around climate change “settled”. Sen Brandis believes in Santa Claus and would like to maintain the Xbox-saturated state he’s become so accustomed to.
Okay granted, like most of you I haven’t done any of my own research on climate change, so our only choice is choosing which of those that claim to be experts we can trust the most.
To be totally shocking here, I choose not to trust most politicians’ views on climate change, as it’s a politician’s job to represent other peoples’ interests — sometimes slightly differently to those found in reality.
Our current government traditionally and clearly leans towards the interests of business. Our current Opposition is more supportive of the science indicating the existence of climate change, but let’s maintain a healthy distrust of political agenda across the board just for giggles.
I also choose not to trust industry’s views on climate change, or social issues, or health issues, or what to have for afternoon tea.
Having given it a bit of a look around, I reckon it’s a decent idea to place the most trust in individuals and bodies who are subject to the most strident checks, balances, peer-review and scrutiny for my climate change information.
People like oh, I don’t know — proper scientists. Even if you don’t trust scientists, the way they’re required to gather and present information, the way they’re often required to justify and re-test their findings under intense scrutiny, and the way they’re subject to strict ethical regulations, pretty much makes them the best shot we’ve got. Even if you’re sceptical of science, scientists have the most likely chance of being right.
Okay, so 97 per cent of scientists agree that climate change is a thing, and that it’s a thing humans cause.
Basing your argument on the remaining three per cent is just a weird thing to do. If 97 per cent of scientists tell me that the chicken in my fridge is off, I’m not going to take a punt on the other three per cent and knock out a stir-fry.
The science around climate change is settled.
Now we just have to think of ways to reduce it, and figure out what to have for afternoon tea.