Forget the blood and gore of MMA, the sport is just boring, writes Jon Anderson
FORGET the blood on the canvas, the sight of a near-defenceless bloodied figure being pummelled or the gladiatorial atmosphere; mixed martial arts is boring.
FORGET the blood on the canvas, the sight of a near-defenceless bloodied figure being continuing pummelled or the construction of a cage to add to the gladiatorial atmosphere; mixed martial arts is boring.
As boring as watching Keegan Bradley or Jim Furyk frown their way through 18 holes, or Andy Murray scowl and Maria Sharapova shriek their respective ways around a tennis court.
All wonderful talents and all crashing bores in their own way, devoid of entertainment value for differing reasons.
And for me MMA, legalised by the State Government this week, fits in the same bracket. I have tried to embrace it, watching a few bouts here and there to try to get what the fuss is about, why the sport is growing so fast and will no doubt perform to sell-out crowds when the cage is erected in Melbourne this November.
But every single time I watch it, MMA comes down to a heavy reliance on grappling and ends up with the fighters locked in embrace, rarely moving as they occupy a small part of the cage.
The fights normally begin in a manner not dissimilar to a cockfight as the combatants strut around, eyeing each other off while raising the odd leg or sending out an exploratory jab. Then, to cut to the chase, the one who is the most proficient in grappling rushes their opponent into a side of the cage, and that can be it for the round while he or she tries to render their opponent into submission.
I fully accept that to achieve that end can involve a high level of skill, it’s just that watching it unfold is as boring as batshit. Give me 12 rounds of the sweet science any day, where the entire ring is used in hand-to-hand combat. Where clinches are quickly broken up by the referee and fighters docked points if they continue to lock up their opponent.
Those who employ boxing skills in MMA rarely last long against an opponent happy to wear a couple on the way to taking an opponent down and winning by a submission. In fairness MMA provides a hugely popular outlet for practitioners of a variety of styles, including jiu-jitsu, muay thai, karate, judo, taekwondo, kick-boxing, wrestling and fighting.
When you combine several of them, such as Anderson Silva (Muay Thai, jiu-jitsu, taekwondo, judo and boxing) then you have the complete package. But for every Silva there are half a dozen who hail from wrestling backgrounds, legends of the sport such as Jon Jones, Rashad Evans and Brock Lesnar. They have already learnt the importance of balance before adding some of the other ingredients.
All of those champions have been involved in fights where blood has flown, but — unlike many — that isn’t the reason I don’t watch MMA. After all, you can see blood any given weekend at many games where soccer, Australian rules and the two rugby codes are played, and most times a boxing match is held.
I’m not part of the posse hunting for the blood of Labor leader Dan Andrews, who has allowed cage fighting after deciding it might be good for a few crucial votes in what was expected to be a close election in Victoria. Mr Andrews has copped it for allowing the fights to take place in a cage, a concept of MMA I actually enjoy.
And I’m not someone who subscribes to the theory that MMA participants will end up as vegetables by their 40th birthday. The sport is well-run and if you ban cage fighting, where fighters receive far fewer head punches than boxing, then pugilism would have to be closely looked at given the indefutable evidence of punch-drunk fighters.
Some of the greats in Muhammad Ali, Sugar Ray Robinson, Floyd Patterson, Joe Frazier and Thomas Hearns all suffered injuries in the ring that left them impaired in some way.
No, the bloodletting of MMA isn’t the turn-off for me, nor the cage. Keep them both but please ensure that something vaguely interesting goes on inside.
Originally published as Forget the blood and gore of MMA, the sport is just boring, writes Jon Anderson