Melbourne Cup 2019: Five minute dummies guide

You could bet on a horse the experts like — or you could pick one for a completely arbitrary reason by following this dummies guide.

Melbourne Cup runner Magic Wand. (AAP Image/Vince Caligiuri)

We’ve trawled through a stack of form guides, listened to dozens of experts and watched the movement in the bookies’ odds like hawks.

And you know what? It’s still anyone’s guess who will win today’s Melbourne Cup.

So instead of trying to find the hidden secret that doesn’t exist — why not back a horse today for a completely arbitrary reason?

Here’s our dummies guide to picking the winner of the race that stops a nation.

YOU’RE ALL ABOUT STRAYA, MATE

If you’re patriotic and want to see an Aussie get up, Vow And Declare (23), Surprise Baby (18) and Youngstar (24) are the only horses with a local trainer, a local jockey and solely local form.

YOU LOVE THE LADIES

If girl power is your thing, Magic Wand (15) is one of only two mares in the race. Just remember, triple champ Makybe Diva was the last mare to win back in 2005.

YOU WATCH HOUSE OF CARDS

The Irish stayer Raymond Tusk (13) is named after the character on the hit television series.

YOU LIKE ROCK AND ROLL

Master of Reality (3) is the name of the third studio album by Black Sabbath.

YOU LIKE CLASSICAL MUSIC

Rostropovich (9) shares the name of one of the greatest cellists of the 20th century, Russian Mstislav Rostropovich.

YOU THINK FRANCESCA CUMANI IS A GODDESS

The Channel 10 presenter and racehorse owner has been a popular part of the Melbourne Cup coverage for years and if you think she’s ace, go with her tip — Mustajeer (8).

Channel 10's racing host Francesca Cumani. Stuart McEvoy/The Australian.

YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE

Six-year-old stallion Mirage Dancer (4) is trained by Trent Busuttin and his partner Natalie Young. They met as teenagers and are now doing what they love side by side.

YOU’RE OUT OF LOVE

Constantinople (19) and Southern France (5) were both in Aidan O’Brien’s stable before being cast aside and picked up by Australian trainers. Winning today would be the ultimate revenge move.

YOU LOVE THE CHASE

Give Hunting Horn (6) a blast.

YOU’RE ALREADY EXCITED ABOUT CHRISTMAS

Star jockey Damian Lane will be wearing red, white and green atop Mer De Glace (2).

YOU’RE FEELING CLASSY

Owner Nick Williams says Latrobe (7) is the “classiest runner in the field”.

YOU’RE FEELING GASSY

Stay off the champagne — and go with Downdraft (14).

YOU’RE AN OLDIE BUT A GOODIE

Only 11 seven-year-olds have won the Melbourne Cup but if you’re after experience, this year’s veterans include Twilight Payment (10), Prince of Arran (12) and Sound (17).

YOU LIKE KIDS

Constantinople (19) is the kindergarten kid of the field at four years old.

YOU’RE FEELING A LITTLE HEAVY

Last year’s winner Cross Counter (1) will carry the most weight in the race at 57.5kg.

Trainer Chris Waller. (Photo by Mark Evans/Getty Images)

YOU LOVE AN UNDERDOG

Neufbosc (16) drew an awful barrier and is at the longest odds of any horse.

YOU’RE A KIWI

The field is full of international horses but there’s only one from New Zealand — The Chosen One (22).

YOU’RE A YANK

There’s also only one American horse — Il Paradiso (20).

YOU DON’T FOLLOW RACING BUT YOU’VE HEARD OF WINX

The trainer of Australia’s favourite racehorse, Chris Waller, has two runners in today’s race but his best hope of winning his first Melbourne Cup is Finche (11).

Good luck!