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Reaction to the best and worst Rio Olympics opening ceremony fashions

THE good, bad and ‘eggly’ of Olympic outfits are on display at the Rio opening ceremony. But how does the world rate Australia’s?

Tony Harper in Rio
4 min read
August 6, 2016 - 7:56AM
Australian athletes Jessica Fox and Ed Jenkins pose with Brazilian dancer Sashya Jay. Picture. Phil Hillyard.
Australian athletes Jessica Fox and Ed Jenkins pose with Brazilian dancer Sashya Jay. Picture. Phil Hillyard.

IT’S the world’s grandest and most critiqued catwalk. Athletes from more than 200 nations parade around the Rio Olympic Stadium, with social media and fashion police skewering the weak, and celebrating the brave.

This is how fashion commentators rate the best and worst of the opening ceremony fashions as well as the sporting attire we’ll see over the next two and a bit weeks.

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AUSTRALIA

Critics are divided over our opening ceremony outfits from Sportscraft. Fashion mag Esquire gave it a caning in their list of the best and worst opening ceremony uniforms, rating it a ONE out of 10.

“Ah, Australia. Home to such beautiful sights as the Great Barrier Reef, the Sydney Opera House, and now these offensively hideous Olympic uniforms,” wrote Lucas Oakeley in Esquire.

“We really mean it when we say that these outfits can digeri-do one. The white and green pinstripe blazer is offensive enough in itself, yet paired with shorts that would make your rich yacht-loving Uncle blush these uniforms are a criminal offence.”

Paste Magazine was also less than impressed.

Let’s go, retro.
Let’s go, retro.

“In its choice of opening ceremony outfits, Australia continues the fine tradition of dressing the greatest athletes in the world like flight attendants. Is it the necktie? The vintage-looking blazer? We don’t know. At least they’re not also wearing khakis.”

Forbes magazine was more forgiving, writing the uniforms “pay homage to the 1924 Olympics with the retrofitted suits and scarfs (and) the team spirit is definitely proactively future-oriented … Way to go!”

CANADA

The fashion world consensus gives gold to Team Canada for the designs of local fashionistas Dan and Dean Caten of Dsquared2.

“Combining more traditional blazers with a relaxed streetwear style, the uniforms come across as typically Canadian — as they should — with both the colour scheme and giant maple leaf representing the country loudly and proudly. A risk well taken,” wrote Esquire.

“What can we say? The Canucks look good,” added Huffington Post.

There was a mixed reaction from fans however, especially focused on the streetwear style hoodies, deemed inappropriate for hot Rio days.

Quartz fashion reporter Marc Bain ranked Canada No.1. “Canada’s look embraces athleisure’s very relevant mix of activewear and everyday clothing, but still cleverly works in details that elevates it above gym clothes.”

Gold standard?
Gold standard?

USA

“USA’s Olympic Uniforms Are WASPy Bullshit,” was the verdict of The Muse website’s review of the Ralph Lauren outfits.

“The United States is already struggling to maintain any respect in the world, and now Ralph Lauren ... is trying to portray us all as Hamptons-humping WASPs just off an outing on a yacht. Well lookie here, old Gatsby, old boy, our athletes will sneer before ashing their cigars on the winner’s platform. This ceremony’s a real gas! Rio 2016, on behalf of America: I’m sorry.”

Esquire called the USA uniforms a “regrettable misfire.”

“ What we are greeted with is an overly preppy ensemble that is sure to leave US fans feeling red, white, and overwhelmingly blue.

“This is something you’d wear to a beach side party. A beach side party you weren’t invited to in the first place because you dress like this.”

Adding insult to, well, insult, fans have seized on the fact the top of the uniform under blazer looks just like the Russian flag. Awkward.

And for those of you who think the Yanks can be a little too flashy for their own good, there are suggestions flag bearer Michael Phelps could be sporting a light up jacket.

SWEDEN

The Swedes walked around London in an absolute shocker of an outfit. Clearly they felt deep enough shame to produce one of the best efforts this time around.

Designed by H & M, the Swedish team’s outfit is “the perfect mix of cool and colourful,” says Esquire.

Sweden is the funkiest.
Sweden is the funkiest.

CUBA

There is nothing totalitarian about the Cubans’ outfits, partly designed by French footwear guru Christian Louboutin.

“Even if Cuba doesn’t fare so well in the medals table, they’ve already won the outfit race,” wrote Elle UK.

GREAT BRITAIN

A collaboration between adidas and Stella McCartney, the main focus has been on the uniform, or lack thereof, of the diver Tom Daley,

Although her designs have met with mixed reactions — critics do not like the “barely there” and “skimpy” pieces — you cannot accuse McCartney of being boring with this bold wardrobe,” wrote star2.com.

It’s all about Tom Daley’s budgie smugglers.
It’s all about Tom Daley’s budgie smugglers.

CHINA

This hideous red and yellow abomination has been the subject of much mirth online, including a hashtag #ScrambledEggsWithTomato on Weibo, the country’s biggest social media platform.

ITALY

Giorgio Armani is responsible for the ever stylish Italian team, although some believe he’s phoned it in this time.

“Armani doesn’t need to resort to tired combinations of red, white and green to create a patriotic look,” wrote Paste Magazine. “Dressing the Olympic team like Italian mobsters on their day off does just as good a job of representing his country.”

Armani and his Tony Soprano leisure suit chic.
Armani and his Tony Soprano leisure suit chic.

SOUTH KOREA

Remember the preppy school from Glee? The South Koreans looks like they’re about to rise into a burst of acapella Katy Perry. But there’s function to the look with Zika on the mind.

“Clearly whoever designed the mosquito-repellent opening ceremony outfits is playing the long game and hoping all the other competitors in their shorts and skirts get bitten by Zika-carrying mosquitoes and are subsequently paralysed, leaving South Korea to swoop in and take gold,” wrote Paste.

The writer is on Twitter @toneharper

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Original URL: https://www.news.com.au/sport/olympics/reaction-to-the-best-and-worst-rio-olympics-opening-ceremony-fashions/news-story/1775935fb3c9ce576da13a17ec603d33