‘We’re seething’: Queensland Origin claim goes too far

Furious NSW has called Queensland out over a “pot of lies” just days before the State of Origin series opener in Sydney.

COMMENT

It’s not enough for those greedy Queensland Maroons to pound us on the footy field every year with rote contempt.

They also have to over-diagnose Ben Hunt’s bunions as botulism just to earn underdog status too.

Yep, nobody froths for mind games more than Queensland, and despite being clearly superior in actual rugby league, they still can’t help soiling every Origin preamble with their chamber pot of lies and deceit.

We’ve seen it all before.

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Encrypted team sheets, quotes in Sanskrit or even their paranoid Area 51-esque conspiracies, and that’s just Cameron Smith talking to the refs.

And it works — not only because the buggers keep winning — but because it still gives us New South Welshpeople the sh**s deluxe.

We can’t forget Kevin Walters announcing his side alphabetically in 2017, we’re still seething over Lote Tuqiri being named as TBA to backdoor a suspension, and we continue to get ulcers every time they name their side 24 hours later than ours.

But after the events of this week, it’s time to concede their two-buck psychological warfare has thankfully jumped the shark.

Daly Cherry-Evans, Ben Hunt and team mates are seen doing a warm up drill. Photo by Bradley Kanaris/Getty Images.

Gorden Tallis wasn’t scraping the bottom of the barrel on NRL 360 with his feeble referee conspiracy about Michael Maguire, he’d burrowed six feet deep in to clay.

If you missed it, the former Maroon claimed the Blues hold an unfair advantage leading in to the series on account of Maguire’s time as a referee’s coach, a role he held in the long-ago era of pre-Who Cares.

“It’s got to be a little bit of a concern (Maguire’s history with the coaches),” Tallis seeded.

“We watched Madge last night talk about … that he met Joey (Suaali’i) when he was a 13-year-old and so there’s a relationship with him.

“So you wouldn’t know the strengths and the weaknesses, wouldn’t you as the coach? If you’re the coach of the referees would you know the strengths and the weaknesses of the referees?

“If you coach the referees, you think you’d have a good relationship with them?”

Even the usually combative NRL360 panel couldn’t cosplay the panto, with Paul Crawley generously labelling Tallis’ claims a “stretch.”

It was a ham-fisted attempt at victimhood even by the standards of Queensland’s extremely flexible persecution complex, and the fact it was met with as much facepalming as Harry Grant’s gastro proves their subterfuge has run out of steam.

That’s right, Queensland camp is still apparently a war zone so deadly it should be surrounded by BBC correspondents kneeling in helmets.

But despite the support of compliant local minions to spread the message, it’s fake news that has also outlived its stay.

Paul Vautin and Daly Cherry-Evans.

Sure, I’ve got no doubt Grant wasn’t lying about being in all-sorts this week, but that’s what happens with exposure to bonding and Queensland tap water.

But excuse our cynicism when the same black widow spider who keeps biting us acts dead for the 725th time.

We all agree there’s nothing as important to Queensland as crying wolf to have their odds blown out by the bookies.

But their contrived illnesses are now a public health issue.

In the fair dinkum department, all those doctors stationed at Maroons camp need to be deployed where they’re needed most, aka at Paul Vautin’s bedside treating his delirium.

“I love the NSW bench. Yeo, Olakau’atu, Leniu, Young … That’s a really strong forwards bench,” Vautin beamed this week.

“We are up against it.

“I’m not going to tip NSW ever, but I’m surprised they’re the outsiders.”

Yep, Queensland will disingenuously beaver away on a narrative to clinch underdog status from the loftiest perch, even though you can hear The Fat’s head wobbling with every insincere word uttered.

In fact, if you tap out every syllable from his quote in Morse code, it spells “QLD 13+.”

To be frank, it’s laughable these mind games from the Queenslanders have lasted so long, especially considering the opposition.

Down here in NSW, we’ve got our hands full trying to win a game let alone fudge a team sheet or tamper with psyche.

In fact, our brain is too crowded for mind games, mainly because it’s filled with self-doubt and Queenslanders living inside rent-free.

That’s why all we can rely on is the occasional win in Perth or wiping out all the enemy’s players with our judiciary.

— Dane Eldridge is a warped cynic yearning for the glory days of rugby league, a time when the sponges were magic and the Mondays were mad. He’s never strapped on a boot in his life, and as such, should be taken with a grain of salt.