Wally Lewis’ message for all men following father’s dementia diagnosis

Rugby league Immortal Wally Lewis conquered everything in his football career - but there’s one thing in life that is forever undefeated.

TOWNSVILLE, AUSTRALIA - JUNE 09: Former player Wally Lewis is seen before game one of the 2021 State of Origin series between the New South Wales Blues and the Queensland Maroons at Queensland Country Bank Stadium on June 09, 2021 in Townsville, Australia. (Photo by Ian Hitchcock/Getty Images)

Wally Lewis is one of the greatest rugby league players in history having already been enshrined as an Immortal of the game.

But regardless of how good a person is at any walk of life, there is one certainty facing all of us: we will die.

Although the subject is taboo for some, the man known simply as The King, whose name is held with a reverence above all else in the sport’s showpiece State of Origin contest, knows all too well that life is indeed fleeting.

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On the elite list of 13 rugby league Immortals, just three still survive with Wally, at 63, the eldest alongside Mal Meninga (62) and Andrew Johns (48).

While Lewis’ parents are still alive, his father Jim, a rugby league great in his own right in Queensland rugby league circles, has been diagnosed with dementia.

As of July 2022 nearly 500,000 Australians live with dementia, as reported by Dementia Australia.

But it's not just an elderly person’s disease with the number including an estimated 30,000 people between the ages of 30-60.

By 2058, it’s estimated 1.1 million people will be affected by dementia, which impacts memory, thinking and social abilities.

Wally Lewis' mum June and dad Jim.

Lewis, who is a spokesperson for Guardian Plan, told news.com.au it was he and his four siblings that first noticed the symptoms in their father.

“We used to go around there and he’d say ‘how’s Jacqui and the kids?’ And I’d say ‘they’re good dad’,” Lewis said.

“He’d say ‘do you want to watch TV, do you want a cup of tea?’ Then he’d say ‘how’s Jacqui and the kids?’

“He’d ask me 150 times and it got to the stage where we introduced a little bit of humour. One day I went out there and I had this bit of paper that I wrote ‘they’re good thanks dad’.

“He started to get a bit cranky about it and I said ‘Dad, just put a smile on your face, I’ll probably end up with the same issue as you, so many Australians these days are battling it’.

“Every time now that I still get the chance to go around there, there’s the … I stopped short of saying tragedy. It’s the disappointment of seeing the way that he is but he’s still alive at 92 years of age and I’m absolutely thrilled that he’s been around this long.”

Lewis and his father grew up on a diet of football.

A young Wally’s grandparents lived just 350m from Lang Park, now known as Suncorp Stadium, a ground he dazzled at so often a bronze statue of him holding aloft the Origin shield has stood outside the ground since 1992.

The two Wallys. Photo Steve Pohlner

His father played as an outside back for Brisbane clubs Wests and Sydney before becoming the coach of Wynnum-Manly, a club he coached at for 16 years before retiring in 1976.

Lewis said his dad still remembered plenty about old games.

But it also highlights the importance of Lewis’ message about talking to family members about their plans while they’re still here.

Guardian Plan is a prepaid funeral service and Lewis said it’s important to fulfil the wishes of your loved ones no matter how hard it may be to have the conversation, as he said: “so when the date does arrive, it doesn't become so difficult”.

He said he has already discussed his plans and it’s been a well-travelled topic in his family, including is own wishes.

“When I do pass, I’d love to be farewelled while wearing a jersey that I felt extremely proud to be wearing, the Queensland State of Origin jersey,” Lewis told news.com.au.

“In my very first State of Origin game, I was twenty years of age, I was just a kid coming into the big time and was wearing a jersey that I dreamed about all my life. To be able to farewelled in that certainly came to the fore and that stood out.

“The guy that I was doing the interview with said ‘Oh, you’re not thinking about handing it on so your kids can have it’. I said ‘oh yeah, it’s something that I’ll still have to be involved in a conversation with but you were asking me, how I would like to be farewelled’.

Wally Lewis is Origin. Photo Greg Miller / Sunshine Coast Daily

Wally Lewis hoists the trophy. Picture by Jamie Hanson

“He asked about the Australian one and I said ‘sure, the Australia wanted to be good be nationwide’, but I’ve been very much a one-eyed Queenslander and loved the thrill of wearing it.

“I still remember the look on my parents’ faces when I was named in a Queensland side for the first time, they both bawled their eyes out. And then, when I got to play that very first State of Origin game, I remember my father pretty much couldn’t talk. He came up and shook my hand and moved off and he said ’son, you’re representing many, many proud Queenslanders here today, just take a look into the crowd. That’s something that I every time I used to run onto the field, I used to look around the crowd and say ‘Okay, we’re doing this for you’.”

Lewis played 301 first-grade games, but just 80 in the NSWRL for the Brisbane Broncos and then Gold Coast Seagulls, achieving much of his success in the QRL competition.

Having played 38 Origins — eight of which he was man of the match — and 34 Tests for Australia, The King reigned across three decades.

But while the modern game has an increased focus on head injuries and player safety around concussion amid the rise in knowledge of degenerative brain conditions such as chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE), Lewis said he was comfortable with the head contact he suffered throughout his career.

Wally Lewis with the NRL Greats mural wall. Pic Annette Dew

Lewis has had issues involving his brain in the past and lived with epilepsy throughout his career.

He also had surgery on his brain after a seizure while reading the news in 2006.

“I have a greater concern for the guys that are that are playing currently and if they can come up with any set of rules or style of playing the game that’s going to keep concussions to a minimum,” Lewis said.

“It’s a contact sport. You can’t dodge the heavy contact. If it’s illegal contract that has to be outlawed, do it tomorrow. Don’t wait around. It needs to be done to make sure that the game is enjoyable, not just for the people in the stands, but those that are providing the entertainment in the jerseys out there on the field.”

Lewis added that while former players often get together to talk about the “tough times” in the past, some of the injuries and issues which have arisen didn’t occur.

“We love playing in the game. We have this little tag in rugby league where they call rugby league ‘the greatest game of all’, and it was an absolute thrill and absolute privilege to play that game,” Lewis continued.

“But for a lot of guys, they wish that they could have done so without suffering severe head knocks.

“But it’s part of the game and there may be some guys that are a little bit angry with the outcome of their career. But to be honest, ask us if we change anything in the game and they’d all say we won’t change a thing.”

Wally Lewis is an spokesperson for Guardian Plans. Photo: Supplied

For those who still find it hard to talk about their final wishes or find it an unnecessary topic to approach, Lewis said it was important to make your final farewell as comfortable as possible for your family and friends.

“Blokes, we like to think we’re 10 foot tall and bulletproof, and ‘we’re tough, blokes can do this, it’ll be the women that do all the crying at funerals’,” he said.

“Well I’ve been to funerals where I’ve seen blokes openly weeping and when they have love and respect for those in the funeral they’re attending, you can understand why.

“(Talking about your wishes) can make the most difficult day of your families life so much easier to deal with.

“I’ve been to a few of them now where at the end we're saying ‘he will rest in peace’. Those three magic words, even for those doing it the toughest of all at the service, it makes the rest of the day, week, month, year coming easier to deal with.”