Truth about biggest issue in the NRL

It’s become a bigger issue in the NRL than the length of Jarome Luai’s hair – but no one in the game can agree on what it really is.

Dale can’t believe it. (Photo by Mark Kolbe/Getty Images)

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Isaac Newton is best known for coining the theory of gravitation, a concept explaining the orbital pull of the moon and why some old codgers pee at the trough with their strides around their ankles.

As one of the sharpest tools in history’s shed, there’s nothing about gravity and motion this bloke didn’t know — and even he’d have stuff-all idea what a hip-drop is.

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The hip-drop is rugby league’s latest buzz term and it’s plunged the game into a state of emotional incontinence, with the tackle now becoming a bigger wedge issue than the length of Jarome Luai’s hair.

Where did it originate from? Is it a deliberate ploy? And does hugging the hips of Haumole Olakau’atu feel like clinging for dear life to a runaway sidecar?

There’s plenty of confusion and debate, but thankfully I can clear the whole thing up right now.

When it comes to hip-drops, there’s literally only one thing you need to know, and that’s this.

Dale Finucane was sin-binned for this hip-drop tackle.

Dale can’t believe it. (Photo by Mark Kolbe/Getty Images)

NOBODY knows what a hip-drop is — nor how to eliminate it from the game — and anyone who says they do is either a fibber or a coach that’s benefited from it being penalised.

The mystery of the hip-drop has created so much conjecture that the average fan is yearning for the good old days of the crusher and the prowler and the other myriad mutations, a simpler time when we’d merely lose our minds and blame the Melbourne Storm.

But sadly, the hip-drop transcends this usual practice.

That’s because it has rapidly established itself as a microcosm of the culture wars, with one side slamming it as the manifestation of indoctrinated wrestling techniques, and the other as the game going SOFT.

This has resulted in a firestorm of hysteria, finger-pointing and counter-pointing, with fans and players unsure if the method is genuinely pre-meditated or simply the NRL again being a slave to corporate wokeism.

For those unaware, the hip-drop involves the tackler leveraging their own mass to halt a ball carrier’s momentum.

It’s nothing new, especially amongst Roosters players who are often seen falling from the hips under the weight of their wallets.

Jake Cifford was severely injured in this hip-drop tackle while playing for Hull FC.

However, the practice has taken an evil turn in recent years with the tackler slumping across the back of the ball carrier’s legs, a move that can cause anything from serious injury to serious thespianism.

At its worst, the hip-drop can result in the anatomically heinous image of a 120kg man folded upon himself. At its mildest, it can look like a failed dacking that demands supreme acting to draw a penalty.

As for the NRL, they reckon the whole thing is under control. Their simple process for hip-drops is to either penalise or overlook, put them on report or don’t, then suspend or exonerate the offender — and if still confused, just sin-bin someone, preferably Victor Radley.

What has resulted is coco-bananas. Jacob Preston has been cited, sin binned and released without charge, Nat Butcher was sin-binned after Briton Nikora stayed down before the Shark resurrected to play the ball and played out the 80 minutes, whereas Ray Stone went uncharged for a tackle on Keaon Koloamatangi that will see the Rabbitoh spend six to eighth weeks on the sideline due to syndesmosis.

Time to exhume Newton and put him on the Match Review Panel. While he’s here, we’ll get him to have a crack at the obstruction rule too.