The ugly sight making it impossible to watch NRL

Footy is supposed to be about toughness, resilience and soldiering on - but in 2024 an ugly sight is making the game unwatchable.

An ugly act is making the NRL unwatchable.

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Footy is supposed to be about toughness, resilience and soldiering on when you’ve been clobbered in to another dimension.

But nowadays it’s become anything but, with players opting less to carry on bravely in favour of carrying on like pork chops.

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The cauldron of Suncorp Stadium was reduced to a theatre of damsels for Magic Round with players floundering to milk penalties so often that the independent doctor won three Dally M points.

Even with the lightest of impact, ball carriers would interrupt proceedings to induce themselves in to a coma before discharging from the ICU and playing the ball 15 seconds later.

Whether clutching a neck for a crusher tackle, lingering a leg to attract contact after a kick or even just lying in a state of dramatic repose after a mere display of force, everyone agrees there’s nothing more tawdry than overstating injury to gain a competitive advantage.

That’s because there’s only thing worse than a high shot, and that’s doggin’ it for one.

NRL games are regularly being decided by sin-bins. (Photo by Hannah Peters/Getty Images)

It’s even happening on the other side of the ball, with players diving at the feet of lead runners to earn obstruction penalties even though the contact occurs in a different hemisphere to the try scorer.

Witnessing our footy heroes flopping on-spec is worlds away from the glory days when they’d wave away instructions to come from the field despite having their head taken off at the waist.

In fact, they seem to be less focused on winning the ruck and more on winning penalties and BAFTAs - and the histrionics are making touch footy look like the Western Front in comparison.

And worse?

Players are not only playing dead to earn penalties, they are showing the rat-cunning to do it when the game is on the line.

Manly were on the receiving end in their 13-12 loss to the Broncos when Jaxson Paulo was penalised for an airy brush to the ear of Deine Mariner that wouldn’t have blown the froth off a lime spider.

Deane Mariner played up the contact around the shoulders. Photo: Fox Sports

Seibold wasn't happy. Photo: Fox Sports

Described by coach Anthony Seibold as “the softest penalty ever”, the Broncos marched upfield in the following set for the winning field goal to be kicked by Jock Madden.

It wasn’t the first time this season Manly has copped such conniving either, with Shaun Johnson earning a game-levelling penalty in the dying stages of their match against the Warriors in round six after hamming-up late contact from Josh Aloiai.

And what have we seen since?

A spate of paranoid referees penalising any impact to the kicker, even if the contact has as much effect to the leg as a squirt of Veet.

While not in the clutch stages, the penalty blown against Harry Grant on Daniel Atkinson last weekend was the prime example of recent times, a call Braith Anasta described as “embarrassing” and “crazy”.

Melbourne Storm hooker Harry Grant is sent to the sin bin by referee Grant Atkins. Picture: NRL Images

It seems the NRL can’t maintain pace with the elite levels of gamesmanship, and it makes us all miss those glorious years when the worst fake injury was Kenny Edwards’ cramps.

In short, the modern player is too shrewd for a rule book trying to keep pace with society’s attitudes towards player safety, which coincidentally they also circumvent by grabbing a pinky when bleeding from the temple to avoid a HIA.

With the resulting stoppages and reviews, it’s making rugby league a more excruciating viewing experience than Graham Annesley’s Monday backtrack session.

- Dane Eldridge is a warped cynic yearning for the glory days of rugby league, a time when the sponges were magic and the Mondays were mad. He’s never strapped on a boot in his life, and as such, should be taken with a grain of salt.