Sam Burgess’ ex-wife Phoebe reveals ongoing battle that tormented her life

The ex-wife of NRL great Sam Burgess has revealed the struggles she’s fought silently for years – and taken years to accept.

Phoebe Burgess has finally spoken about the piece of her life she had kept to herself for years in an inspiring Instagram post.

In an attempt to normalise conversations around mental health, the mother-of-two and ex-wife of rugby league great Sam Burgess has detailed the devastating impact of chronic back pain on her life.

Phoebe has been living in torment for as long as she can remember but first had surgery in 2012 after a skiing accident “changed her spine forever”.

But a fitness lover, Phoebe kept skiing, playing tennis, running and “living as I always had” with catastrophic consequences.

“Post surgery, I didn’t listen to my body or heed my surgeons’ advice …” she wrote. “I hadn’t accepted my reality yet. I spent weeks in hospital, unable to move, (there were bedpans involved). Two children and countless procedures, injections, scans and surgeries later, I live in chronic pain. It’s taken me years to acknowledge and accept my diagnosis.”

Phoebe has found a way to manage her condition with the help of a team of professionals who “guide, prompt, talk, listen, prescribe and heal”.

She had previously spoken about her back pain while carrying her son, William, but had never shared the toll it took on her mentally. She broke her silence to emphasise the importance of seeking professional help.

“At times, I have just needed somewhere to ‘fall apart’ away from little eyes, to ugly cry, breathe deeply, be silent, regroup, mend, plan or just be,” she wrote.

“There is always more to say but I hope this a start. A small insight into a part of my psyche and a part of my life that I have not shared – not out of embarrassment, shame or fear – but out of my desire to keep a piece for myself only – how I have dealt with pain, all pain, and always been sacred to me. Private. Until now.

Phoebe accompanied her stirring words with this image of her in hospital while pregnant with William in 2018.

Phoebe has been dealing with chronic pain in her back.

“My hope is this start serves as a small sign, a reminder, a gentle nudge, a hard shove in the back or in IG language: the #inspo to find your ‘people’. And more importantly, to not be made to feel ashamed about needing them, or speaking about having them.
“I’m really grateful I found my pain specialist and my psychologist team (and my pilates instructor, PT and facialist). Jokes aside, it’s 2020, I hope that our team of mental health professionals become as mundane and as wonderfully normalised as our monthly hair cut and colour.”

Phoebe’s post was met with widespread praise.

“Brave woman! Thank you for sharing and helping to break down the stigma surrounding mental health support,” Gritty Pretty editor Eleanor Pendleton responded. “Pain is pain and just like we seek recovery from physical injuries or we exercise and eat well to feel good, we also have to put in the ‘work’ to support our mental health as well – and that takes a village (often of trained and qualified professionals). I respected you before but after sharing your vulnerability, I do even more. How lucky your two babies are to look up to a mama like you. You are an inspiration.”