Rugby league’s rise to the top of Aussie sport is now complete

COMMENT: Rugby league now sits unchallenged on the throne of Aussie sport as its simple ingredients deliver cut-through other sports can only dream of.

NRL 2022 GF Penrith Panthers v Parramatta Eels - Nathan Cleary, Ivan Cleary, Trophy, Celeb, Win. Credit NRL Photos

COMMENT

Whether you believe it or not, one sport has risen above all others to sit unchallenged as Australia’s number one sport.

Rugby league.

Rival fans may disagree, but the 13-man code is Australian sport’s new Head of State, and much like King Charles, its rise to the throne cannot be disputed even despite its history of being over-budget and extra-marital.

Yep, rugby league rules. After all, why else would they call it ‘The Sport of Kings’?

Long dismissed as the domain of meat heads and inmates, rugby league has overtaken AFL, cricket, and of course, soccer, a sport with superior participation rates, but only in corrupt executives.

But how has the game achieved this mantle?

Firstly, by reigning supreme in the all-important TV ratings battle.

Rival codes will highlight their loftier figures in attendances, grassroots and even innovation, with one particular rival still believing they’ve staged a superior Magic Round (and to be fair, we should applaud rugby union for their adorable crack at the concept).

Jarome Luai and the Panthers have risen to dominate the NRL in recent years. (Photo by Jason McCawley/Getty Images)

However, none of these metrics have been any match for the voyeuristic lure of Matt Burton getting his head pounded by Dane Gagai.

Sure, a 90,000 crowd at the MCG it ain’t, but State of Origin’s mystique continues to deliver cut-through in the AFL states that’s as acute as their throbbing envy.

But it’s not only downing Gillon McLachlan and Masterchef in the winter months, rugby league has unified the belts by also sinking the big ticket sports of summer.

The game’s title as undisputed champion has been emphatically confirmed by overtaking cricket, tennis and jet-ski calamity as the nation’s number one year-round passion.

But it isn’t just bloodlust and ambiguous facts behind this rise, rugby league has dragged itself to the summit by becoming a product for all demographics.

The on-field violence of yesteryear has been significantly curbed, with the days of players signing a waiver before packing down in a scrum now replaced with a game that can be safely appreciated by kids and soccer mums alike.

Reece Walsh and Origin is a match made in rugby league heaven. Pic Grant Trouville/NRL Photos

Even the head is now sacrosanct, with a crackdown on high shots meaning even Will Smith would’ve copped 6-8 weeks for his open-palm embarrassment on Chris Rock, with four of these ordered building orphanages in the Philippines.

Rugby league’s infamous off-field incidents have also slowed to a trickle after years of pumping out scandals with tremendous fluency.

Nowadays the majority of front-page news is trivialities like pay disputes and Lachlan Lewis stealing Bluetooth speakers, the latter which was more an insight in to the Bulldogs cap problems rather than petty crime, if anything.

Yep, rugby league has grown so sterilised that the greatest crime in the game is supporting Souths.

But most of all, the game’s greatest appeal is its ability to the connect with the everyman.

After surviving the foodie era and barely emerging from the draconian hell of Covid, Australia has a renewed appetite for its carefree, working-class roots- and there’s no sport that loves the working class and roots more than rugby league.

Kalyn Ponga is one of the most popular players in the game. Picture: NRL Photos

Frankly, soccer is too cosmopolitan, cricket is too aristocratic, and AFL is too busy self-validating with questions like “Who is the Lionel Messi of the AFL?” which, for what it’s worth, was definitely Karmichael Hunt.

After years of twice-cooked lamb racks and the pandemic, rugby league is the no-nonsense, hairy-shouldered game Australia craved - and that’s why it’s now celebrated as the nation’s finest.

And if winning the Culture Wars isn’t enough to convince you league rules, then think to yourself: all things considered, which code is going to Vegas?

In summary, rugby league is king.

It has less knock-ons than Aussie Rules and more ball-in-play than cricket, and most notably, is more sustainable for the environment than jet-skiing.

- Dane Eldridge is a warped cynic yearning for the glory days of rugby league, a time when the sponges were magic and the Mondays were mad.

He’s never strapped on a boot in his life, and as such, should be taken with a grain of salt.