Nathan Cleary, Mary Fowler romance puts the NRL on notice

Nathan Cleary’s blossoming relationship with Mary Fowler should be sending waves of panic through the NRL for one big reason.

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The last time Nathan Cleary was on a football field he conjured 20 minutes of breathtaking brilliance to steal a grand final, all while suffering from an injured knee and aching loneliness.

But since then he’s found love with Mary Fowler - and it should send waves of panic through the NRL.

Not because their relationship concedes precious limelight to a rival sport, nor because he could relocate to Europe to become a professional clothes horse.

It’s because if his fairytale with the famous Matilda is real and enduring, a content and romantically-stable Cleary will take the field in 2024, provided he isn’t deliriously sniffing petunias and swinging off lampposts serenading passers-by.

And what does this mean?

That his already-elite game could soar to a new stratosphere, meaning the NRL might as well save the hassle and hand Penrith the next five premierships.

Nathan Cleary's relationship with Mary Fowler can only make him a more dominant NRL force. Pic: Getty

Until now, Cleary, 26, has amassed three premierships, two Clive Churchill medals, 14 Origins and five Roos caps with a World Cup title, all while howling at the moon from his backyard every night.

Now he’s lightened himself of involuntary bachelorhood, he can start budgeting for 65 metre penalty goals, 40/10’s, or even more unlikely, a win against Queensland.

Yes, equating a girlfriend with high performance is amateur psychoanalysis that oversimplifies a number of heavily complex factors such as relationships in the digital era, Generation Z, and blokes.

But anyone who’s experienced the electrical jolt of true love knows it feels like you could overcome anything, even the NSW jersey.

While the evidence remains largely anecdotal in football terms, studies have revealed a direct correlation between having a crush and converting at 85%.

Nathan Cleary already has three premiership rings to his name. (Photo by Matt King/Getty Images)

And for a young man like Cleary whose teammates have made no secret he’s “on the lookout for love”, being smitten will further turbocharge confidence and replace his desire for Call of Duty with oxytocin and butterflies.

As such, it means the Panthers three-peat is merely the trailer before the main event.

For those living under a rock, the love story of Nathan and Mary has captured the nation’s heart and united dreamers with jocks and neo-hippies with gambling fiends and everyone in between.

In a frigid Australia missing Bec and Lleyton and barely surviving Barnaby and Vicki, the wonder couple have us believing in fairytales again when Prince Fredrik is being caught out in more ‘secret meetings’ than Phil Gould.

Mary Fowler in action for the Matildas against Canada on December 5, 2023. (Photo by Craig Mitchelldyer/Getty Images for Football Australia)

But while the pair has provided the nation with immeasurable fuzziness, sadly it will only further Penrith’s dominance.

Even though the Panthers have already done a pretty good job of it themselves, is a warm collective heart worth crushing the enjoyment of rugby league for everyone except Panthers fans?

Frankly, there is only thing that can save the competition - and it’s not Nathan consciously uncoupling from his partner.

Nope, Jarome Luai leaving won’t make a lick of difference, so the only thing rival fans can hope for is the perils of long-distance dating.

Nathan Cleary is back in action at Panthers pre-season.

Nathan Cleary returned to training after a long off-season holiday.

While many grizzled types argue they can be quite positive, long distance relationships are traditionally strenuous on the heart and the data.

And if Cleary thought travelling to Perth for a friendly was a pain in the arse, try squeezing in a 30,000km round trip to Manchester when you’ve got a few days off after Thursday night football.

Dane Eldridge is a warped cynic yearning for the glory days of rugby league, a time when the sponges were magic and the Mondays were mad.

He’s never strapped on a boot in his life, and as such, should be taken with a grain of salt.