Magic Round, and everything else rugby league does better than the AFL

The AFL’s botched attempt at copying the NRL’s Magic Round is just one of a number of things that proves rugby league is the dominate code, writes Dane Eldridge.

Suncorp Stadium NRL Magic Round 2023 - Kayo. Bulldogs - Josh Addo-Carr. Picture: Nigel Hallett

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It’s one of mankind’s most decorated pilgrimages, a weekend when fans converge on Brisbane for three days of rugby league and unseasonal sunburn.

The latest iteration of Magic Round is upon us, Suncorp Stadium’s annual fiesta that’s become a religious rite of passage akin to Jerusalem, only twice as sandy.

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Despite concerns over the playing surface, the 2023 version promises to further entrench the concept as one of sport’s bucket list events, and what better way to celebrate than by measuring d**ks with the AFL.

For those unaware, the Victorian code had its own adorable crack at Magic Round recently – aptly named Gather Round – however it was plagued by a number of issues like detached venues, ticketing problems, and worst, Aussie Rules.

In fact, the event was such a flop that organisers were forced to launder its image by staging it alongside the Saudi-backed LIV Golf tournament.

The Dolphins’ Jamayne Isaako, Broncos’ Pat Carrigan, Manly’s Daly Cherry-Evans and Bulldogs’ Josh Addo-Carr pose ahead of Magic Round. Picture: Nigel Hallett

But while this botched attempt from the AFL emphatically affirmed rugby league as the king of the footy carnivale space, it isn’t the only thing the NRL does better than the AFL.

When it comes to the Code Wars, rugby league’s domination is clearly evident across the three R’s of sports business: Ratings, Revenue and Rancour.

Firstly, ratings.

While the AFL is always chest-beating over its superior crowd figures, rugby league smashes its rival with eyeballs.

And it doesn’t matter what numerical system you choose, two eyeballs is more than one person.

Yep, NRL viewership is streets ahead via TV ratings, and sadly for the AFL, there’s no end in sight.

Under the Daniel Andrews government, the state has become a bunch of hyper-progressive green-alarmists who only use their TV’s when absolutely necessary, which is strictly 30 minutes per weeknight to watch The Drum.

The AFL’s Magic Round just doesn’t have the same appeal. Picture: NCA NewsWire / Brenton Edwards

Add this to their obsession with booing Brownlow Medallists in to exile, and Channel 7 might as well bump off Friday Night Footy for Better Homes and Gardens.

Secondly, rugby league is running roughshod on the bottom line.

It might appear like the AFL is horrendously thrashing the NRL in the financial stakes, but that’s only if comparing using traditional means like money.

The southern code may have posted a $20.7 million dollar profit last year and boast a swathe of assets including Marvel Stadium and Warwick Capper’s teeth, but who cares? The NRL bought a pub on Caxton Street.

Put simply, you can’t put a price on Two-for-one Tuesdays, and combined with the advertising riches of kicking-off Origin at midnight, we’ve got enough left over to pay Josh Schuster $800,000.

On the other hand, the AFL is so povvo it can’t even afford sleeves.

Finally, rancour.

When it comes to grudges, drama and punchin’ on, the NRL leaves the AFL in its blood-soaked dust.

NRL fans get excited ahead of the 2023 Magic Round. Picture: Nigel Hallett

Whether on the paddock or in the front office, rugby league is a hot mess that could confect a spat in an empty room.

Just look at the petty blue we’ve engaged in with rugby union, which obviously we’re winning in a canter.

Putting it plainly, rugby league provides the consumer with a unique range of titillating biff.

On the other hand, with its four field umpires, two goal umpires and four boundary umpires, you can barely dole out some ‘rubbish on the face’ in AFL, let alone a hip-drop.

In summary, with the AFL copycatting everything from our parties to expansion, it’s rugby league 13+.

Until AFL wants to treat itself to some carbon and a few high shots, the status quo will remain.

Dane Eldridge is a warped cynic yearning for the glory days of rugby league, a time when the sponges were magic and the Mondays were mad. He’s never strapped on a boot in his life, and as such, should be taken with a grain of salt.