Jersey detail proves why Queensland just gets Origin

There are seven words that prove NSW has been kidding itself for 40 years and the words look particularly brutal after the Blues’ jersey farce.

The magical jumper that would turn any Jane into Tarzan.

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When it comes to this time of year, everyone agrees that Queensland ‘get’ Origin while New South Wales ‘get’ herbal wellness packages.

In lay terms, this means the Maroons win hearts and deciders, whereas the Blues win dead rubbers and games played on paper.

Why does Queensland dominate in such a way?

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Most embittered New South Welshmen like me reckon it’s because the whole thing is rigged to maintain Gus Gould’s rage — which is definitely true — but the actual reason is because we have NFI about Origin whatsoever.

There’s a gaping chasm in Origin IQ that exists between the states, and this year its highlighted in the two states’ respective jerseys.

Stated inside the neckline of the 2023 Queensland strip - in size 12 unpretentious font and braille for bonding nights - are the immortal words of legendary Maroons manager Dick ‘Tosser’ Turner:

“Queensland expects you to do your duty.”

The magical jumper that would turn any Jane into Tarzan.

Despite packing distinct conscription vibes, this ethos is not only a reflection of the Queensland people - simple, punchy - but also a powerful reminder of Origin’s importance to the Maroon state.

On the other hand, the only ‘powerful reminder’ offered by the Blues jersey is that you’re probably behind in your mortgage but at least Phillip Lowe is okay.

Since the team assembled in Coogee last week, the Blues have been spray-tanned from nose-to-toes in so much unsightly Westpac insignia that nobody is sure if they’re partaking in a game of footy or 110 laps of NASCAR.

My eyes! My eyes! Picture: Justin Lloyd.

Tom Trbojevic models this year's NSW Origin jersey. Picture: NRL Photos

But even more sickly, the state’s marketing wets opted for a commercially-driven navy blue scheme over our treasured ‘prison warden’ sky blue, a decision which is only being reversed on the directive of the NRL due to a kit clash.

And this, in a nutshell, is why Queensland understand Origin and New South Wales needs to Shazam its own team song.

Like Aristotle once mused, Origin distils class warfare with sectarian hatred and feeds it to the masses like artisanal cheese by The Block (featuring an exclusive halftime interview with Scott Cam).

Up there in the Sunshine State, Queensland represent the calloused working class, while down here in The Godless South, we ivory-towered professionals are silver-spooned the best players, the best coaches and the best facilities, all neatly stored in our Cammeray four-bedders.

When you think about it, we’ve actually got so much, there’s a couple of series over the years we probably should’ve won: ALL OF THEM.

The Queensland jumper of 2022. Photo by Bradley Kanaris/Getty Images.

Combined with the fact we could be down 66-4 with five to go and the bookies would still post us as $1.65 favourites, these factors have combined to instil a unique modesty in our football that attracts us to earthy corporations like the Big Four banks and Star City Casino, the latter a partnership which spawned an anthem so forgettable it had us yearning for ‘Yippi Yippi Yi.’

Conversely, Queensland partner with plucky banks like Auswide and whack a basic one-step instruction in the collar- then sit back and watch John Buttigieg transform into Usain Bolt.

In summary, the respective jerseys are an extension of each state’s mojo. The Maroon is supernatural, while the Blue is an aesthetic code violation that’s all dough and no go.

Would Trevor Gillmeister have risen from the dead in 1995 for a worthless dead rubber if it were in sky blue?

Nope. It wasn’t the antibiotics; it was the jersey.

New South Wales needs to read the room and establish a jersey that espouses the virtues of Origin and what it means to the state.

Maybe a sponsorship deal with Bunnings:

Find a side with a worse completion rate and we’ll beat it by 10 per cent.

— Dane Eldridge is a warped cynic yearning for the glory days of rugby league, a time when the sponges were magic and the Mondays were mad. He’s never strapped on a boot in his life, and as such, should be taken with a grain of salt.