‘It hurts me a lot’: Kalyn Ponga vows to be better after controversial end to a difficult year

Kalyn Ponga has spoken for the first time since video emerged of him leaving a toilet cubicle, with the Knights star vowing to be a better leader in 2023.

Kalyn Ponga is ready to bounce back after an injury-plagued year ended in controversy. Picture: NRL Photos

Knights superstar Kalyn Ponga says last year’s video of him leaving a toilet cubicle with teammate Kurt Mann was “one of the most difficult moments of my life” as he gets ready for the biggest season of his career.

The 24-year-old also leapt to Mann’s defence, saying he was there to help after Ponga ate some food that didn’t agree with him.

Kalyn Ponga regrets what happened last year. Picture: Mark Nolan/Getty Images

The incident was reviewed by the NRL’s integrity unit and was a bad look for Ponga, who many believe should have been resting at home given he was dealing with concussion issues that limited to him to just 14 matches in 2022.

Speaking for the first time since the video emerged, Ponga – who wasn’t stripped of the captaincy – appeared remorseful and says the mistake has helped him become a better leader.

“The process of the whole integrity unit going through what they went through, and being through my concussion at that time and not being able to play and show everyone that I do care about the club, was tough for me,” he told reporters in Newcastle.

“I have reflected upon my responsibilities as a leader. I have learned some lessons from that time. I just want to set new standards, be a better leader for this team and the boys I am playing with.

“It was a period that I will look back on and hopefully down the track, and even now it is probably one of the most difficult moments of my life.

“I have learned a lot from that time. I have put things in place that will help me be a better person and hopefully be a better leader as well.

“I can’t change it. It is about how you react and how you respond. I have reflected. I didn’t go away from that incident and not take any lessons out of it.

“I shouldn’t have been out or anything like that in the first place. I was in the wrong there.”

Ponga copped a number of head knocks in 2022. Picture; Matt King/Getty Images

Ponga has suffered a string of head knocks throughout his career, which is why his decision to go out drinking was met with so much criticism.

“To be honest I didn’t know the effects that alcohol could have on concussion,” he said.

“Obviously, it is not great for concussion. Like I said, I have learned a lot from that time. It is not a foreign part of the game but there is so much about concussion people don’t know.

“I look back on that time and that period I was going through the concussions, and they do have an effect on you.

“Moving forward, there have been lots of lessons learned and that is one of them. Hopefully, I don’t have any (this) year.

“I have gone through the pre-season and done all the contact. My head feels safe. I am in a comfortable spot that is being me.

“I want to put that (the toilet cubicle incident) in the past. It is a part of last year that hurt me a lot and it is something I can’t control as well.

“It is in the past.”

Ponga’s fitness is going to be of the utmost importance for a Knights side that narrowly avoided the wooden spoon last year.

One of the major problems was their attack, which is one of the reasons coach Adam O’Brien has made the big call to move his skipper to five-eighth where he failed to fire in the first three rounds of the 2019 season.

Jackson Hastings has been brought across to fix Newcastle’s attack. Picture: Jason McCawley/Getty Images

“I have enjoyed the challenge,” said Ponga, who will partner Jackson Hastings in the halves with Lachie Miller set to play fullback.

“Jacko has been so good for me. He is such a loud, vocal controlling half.

“It allows me to play free. I think he is perfect for what this team needs. I want to hit the ground running and be the best I can be, but it is going to take time.”