Flashy Sharks gun had the whole NRL world fooled

Nicho Hynes is the most universally popular player in the NRL. He’s falling apart and it’s something no fan wants to see.

COMMENT

You’d be asking questions if your Uber had a five star rating and the back seat smelt like a skunk’s laundry, so why should we tolerate the same for a halfback?

Nicho Hynes is a top bloke, a wonderful ambassador for rugby league and the kinda GQ/RSPCA hybrid sweetheart you’d take home to meet mother.

But recent events have laid bare an uncomfortable reality about the Sharks halfback:

He’s sold us a dummy and fooled us blind.

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Yep, the two-time Blue is a fine footballer who looks iridescent in front of a dominant pack or a studio lens, but he’s not the lights-out matchwinner we’ve hastily given loads of unconditional approval and Dally M votes.

Why?

Because for all the terrific attributes he provides as a footballer, Hynes as a halfback freezes quicker than Ice Magic when the game’s on the line.

Sure, he’s dazzled us by flashily gorging on weak opposition, and there’s been plenty in a favourable schedule for the Sharks that has offered more opponents below them on the ladder than Penrith’s.

Nobody wants to see Nicho Hynes like this. Photo by Cameron Spencer/Getty Images.

But when the rivals are formidable, he’s yet to consistently pull the irons out of the fire when the heat is at its hottest.

Friday night’s golden point loss to the reborn Bulldogs was a case in point, a result that has seen the delicate intonations over his poise prolapse in to a 24/7 nationwide symposium.

In addition to scratching in attack all night for zero line breaks and zero assists, Hynes’ kicking boot went to mush again with a haunting point blank miss at field goal that would’ve secured the Sharks the win in golden point.

Not only did it resurface the nightmare of his missed conversion attempt against the Dolphins from just weeks earlier, it capped a horror week that was like being the ‘before’ photo in a Jenny Craig ad.

After Mitch Moses showed him up with a halfback masterclass in the Blues’ demolition of Queensland, the last thing Hynes needed was for Matt Burton’s liquid leg to make his look like a weekender’s golf swing — but that’s exactly what happened when the Dogs five-eighth coolly slotted his match-winner only seconds later.

Nicho Hynes is copping it from all sides. Photo: Fox Sports

While Hynes never asked to placed on a pedestal by the rugby league public, sadly this is the life of a halfback in a Sydney bubble where the criticism is as impulsive as the king-making.

When he arrived at the Sharks following a thorough apprenticeship at the Melbourne Storm, he ticked all the boxes to become our latest star.

Not only a handy ballplayer, he was fresh and media savvy, plus most impressive of all, he’d survived the Melbourne Storm.

Known as the game’s Hogwarts, the Storm’s secret methods for success have long intrigued the rest of rugby league so much that we all assume anyone who comes from there must be bloody good at footy.

Hello darkness my old friend. Photo by Cameron Spencer/Getty Images.

But even despite the 18+ months of positive press this entitles one too, the discourse around Hynes has now crumbled so dramatically that he will only be considered a premiership threat once he wins three.

Thankfully, Hynes is the kinda dedicated dreamer who can avoid becoming the next Tim Smith or Ash Taylor.

After leaving the field on Friday with the body language of a garbage bag, coach Craig Fitzgibbon gave encouragement the experience is “gonna shape him”, while James Graham on Fox League assured he “isn’t going to be remembered for a missed field goal in round 17 of 2024.”

And with these words ringing in his ears, there’s no reason Hynes can’t finish his career in the NRL instead of reserve grade or construction.

— Dane Eldridge is a warped cynic yearning for the glory days of rugby league, a time when the sponges were magic and the Mondays were mad. He’s never strapped on a boot in his life, and as such, should be taken with a grain of salt.