Dane Eldridge: People of NSW dudded amid Tom Trbojevic injury crisis

Tom Trbojevic is battling yet another ailment, with the Manly star’s latest crisis leaving one neglected group out in the cold.

SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA - MAY 20: Tom Trbojevic of the Sea Eagles leaves the field with an injury during the round 11 NRL match between the Parramatta Eels and the Manly Sea Eagles at CommBank Stadium, on May 20, 2022, in Sydney, Australia. (Photo by Mark Kolbe/Getty Images)

COMMENT

There’s one particular group of people whose feelings have been neglected as we’ve flippantly debated Tom Trbojevic’s groin.

I’m not talking about his family, and I’m certainly not talking about Manly. After all, they’ve stockpiled enough Turbo Brothers to fill an 18th and 19th franchise, so they’ll be fine.

I’m talking about the feelings of us long-suffering people of New South Wales.

Watch every game of every round of the 2023 NRL Telstra Premiership Season LIVE on Kayo Sports. New to Kayo? Start your free trial now >

Down here south, we demand Trbojevic be immediately placed in long-term care or a zorb ball before we risk our most precious commodity: the dopamine surge of stickin’ it up the Maroons.

Obviously Tom’s health is important too; after all, he’s a lovely bloke who deserves nothing less than a functional pair of calves.

But what’s more important than the health of the Blues?

The Manly superstar is enduring another frustrating season of injury, with his troublesome body decomposing so rapidly his profile picture could soon be dental records.

On Friday he was finally given a week off by Manly as he continues to battle with a groin complaint, among a handful of other problems.

It’s a major headache considering his extensive time spent with renowned ‘Hamstring Whisperer’ Bill Knowles, an expert who re-jigged specific mechanics of his running style, i.e. the parts that make him like a 120 year old osteoarthritis sufferer.

Turbo Time is on pause. (Photo by Mark Kolbe/Getty Images)

One of Trbojevic’s latest ailments is an adductor issue, a niggle which has left the boom fullback with the athletic freedom of a man running with his shoelaces tied together.

This was embarrassingly evident on Sunday when he was chased down by Tigers prop Stefano Utoikamanu, a moment a far cry from the cheat-coding marvels of his 2021 Dally M season.

In addition to his janky back, papery hammies and balsa shoulders, this latest twinge for Trbojevic has not only stranded his season in the wilderness, it also leaves him only two medials and a neck burner short of completing a Steve Matai Bingo Card.

It’s a crisis deserving of serious perspective, and that’s why we must consider the Blues first and foremost.

While acknowledging 16 other players are traditionally selected to play alongside Turbo for the Blues – with many stellar options to fill the breach in his absence – the Manly ace’s record in the interstate arena is imperious.

Usually we’d be more than happy to needle him up and send him out there on a prayer, or even a tuktuk.

Not another injury. (Photo by Mark Kolbe/Getty Images)

But as a calcified human who is currently 86% titanium & twine, he’d barely make it through airport security let alone Queensland’s defensive line.

Plus if he presented as a half-fit backline specialist, Freddy would likely pick him on the bench as a reserve hooker.

This is why this precious commodity must be put out to pasture until selection time, if only to save New South Wales from itself.

Admittedly, this is not an ideal scenario for Manly. But as a desperado on arguably his last-chance saloon, Anthony Seibold cannot be trusted to place the state’s interests above his own. Plus there’s nothing in a spreadsheet about keeping a shampoo bubble intact.

As such, Tommy and his leprous remains must be nursed like a newborn or a tray of four $17 Stone & Woods at the new Allianz Stadium, at least until fit, or the Trbojevics produce another son.

Dane Eldridge is a warped cynic yearning for the glory days of rugby league, a time when the sponges were magic and the Mondays were mad. He’s never strapped on a boot in his life, and as such, should be taken with a grain of salt.