Cronulla Sharks aren’t chokers, they’re much worse than that

The Cronulla Sharks have been accused of becoming ‘chokers’ after yet another finals fail - but the reality is actually much worse.

Nicholas Hynes of the Sharks and Brandon Smith of the Roosters embrace. (Photo by Mark Metcalfe/Getty Images)

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The Cronulla Sharks have become like a cursed student that is continually repeating year 12 for the same HSC score.

And with their recurring finals nightmare stretching in to a fifth year after bombing out to the patched-up Roosters on Saturday night, questions are being asked whether the club will ever graduate or forever be that dodgy ‘classmate’ with alarming facial hair.

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The gripping 13-12 defeat left Craig Fitzgibbon’s finals record in tatters at 0-3 and resurfaced questions over Nicho Hynes’ lack of clutch, and more importantly, whether this can be blamed on Brad Fittler.

The loss also raised the taboo accusation of the Sharks “choking”, however after taking a deep breath, we all agreed they shouldn’t be worthy of such a tag.

That’s because despite being the dirtiest term in rugby league outside of “circulating online”, being chokers is something the Sharks could only dream of.

To be a choker is to implode under the burden of expectation, and sadly for the Sharks, nowadays nobody expects them to do anything.

After their repeated run of predictable failures, Cronulla are now burdened with a much more shameful tag: they are simply “meh”.

The Sharks just can’t get it done. (Photo by Mark Metcalfe/Getty Images)

For some inexplicable reason, this club has a rancid habit of fighting like demons to make September before doing whatever it takes upon arrival to get the hell out as quickly as possible and it’s easier to pick than a nose in the Sahara.

It’s a far cry from the club’s golden era, a famous time when they’d routinely fail in preliminary finals rather than to sides scraping in to the top eight under 13 kilos of Elastoplast.

This alarming trend was meant to end with the axing of John Morris, the man who despite scant pedigree and resources fashioned a punter’s dream that politely beat who it should and lost to who it shouldn’t.

Morris has since moved on to the greener pastures of the realpolitik at Souths and next at the Tigers, all while Cronulla’s envisaged upgrade under Fitzgibbon is stalled and buffering.

Despite hugely encouraging signs last year with a top four finish, two years in to the tenure and not only is Craig even balder than when he arrived, Cronulla is more ‘John Morris-ey’ than it’s ever been.

Speaking on The Sunday Footy Show, Andrew Johns believed the problem lies in the lack of a quality X-factor, which is a relief because you couldn’t ask Cam McInnes to make any more tackles.

Another horror ending. (Photo by Mark Metcalfe/Getty Images)

Take nothing away from Will Kennedy – who was a revelation before injuring his hamstring – however to make that next step in to the premiership discussion, the Sharks playmaking stocks need a serious shot of Vitamin B.

Sadly the open market for elite attacking threats right now is pretty sparse and any purchase would be like getting your ski gear from Aldi, meaning for now, Fitzgibbon is stuck with this current bunch of thermal socks.

This intensifies the burden on main man Hynes, especially with Saturday’s result set to nag him across the summer like sand chafe.

Despite directing his side around with his usual efficiency, the halfback was unable to deliver the crucial field goal in the game’s pulsating final stages after failing to evade the seven James Tedescos on the field.

At the very least, Hynes can take away a lesson from his counterpart Sam Walker.

After declaring he was “proud” of the Roosters wunderkind during the week, Walker duly returned the favour to his doting father figure by punching one through the sticks and consigning him to three months of heat.

- Dane Eldridge is a warped cynic yearning for the glory days of rugby league, a time when the sponges were magic and the Mondays were mad. He’s never strapped on a boot in his life, and as such, should be taken with a grain of salt.