Could Ricky’s tears change rugby league as we know it?

Canberra coach Ricky Stuart’s tears have inadvertently exposed the NRL cattle market is at breaking point and this is the final straw.

An emotional Ricky Stuart at Canberra Raiders presser after beating the Dolphins tonight. 29.4.23

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Nobody can predict the outcome of any game involving the hormonal Canberra Raiders, although you’ll always get short odds on a carcinogenic blast from Ricky Stuart.

So when full-time blew on Saturday’s tense win over the Dolphins and the coach showed vulnerability instead of sinking the slipper in to a ref or a journo, we knew something weird was going down.

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As Ricky’s face leaked in the press conference instead of turning purple, we knew either the haemorrhoids had finally broken him, or it was the final straw for NRL’s ass of a player transfer system.

Debate has surged over the suitability of the game’s trade rules since the unvarnished emotion of Stuart and Jack Wighton, with many arguing if the scrutiny of the player market is taking too much of a toll.

He fights and fights, but just can’t quite manage to keep it together.

Is it fair on clubs? Is it fair on fans? Do we need a draft? Or should we just bring back conscription?

Should a player sign a deal 200 years in to the future? And should they suck up the fallout, or as persistent rumours attest, are footballers human beings with real feelings?

The argument around rugby league cattle trading is so commonplace nowadays it has blended in to the discourse as inconspicuously as Braith Anasta’s spray tan.

The current system allows players to sign with rival clubs up to 18 months in the future, a rule originally introduced after players rallied for more protection against long-term injury and lazy-arse removalists.

With the previous rule only granting months to find a new club, players claimed this left them exposed to cruelling their value through injury and/or having bugger-all time to move their jet-ski to Newcastle when Nick Politis inevitably cut them for someone shinier.

This produced the unintended consequence of players agreeing to join new clubs in the afterlife, with Penrith bemoaning spending large chunks of last year in the knowledge Api Koroisau and Viliame Kikau were departing, and the Roosters currently enduring an 18 month farewell party for Joseph Suaalii.

The Stick we know and love. Photo by Ian Hitchcock/Getty Images.

But nobody has really cared until now it’s impacted a club like Canberra, mainly because they’re likeable.

In addition to upsetting fellow grump Phil Gould — the Dogs lord is campaigning for a draft system to support lower-profile clubs — and the NRL’s desire to stick it up the RLPA, Ricky’s tears could be the last component of a perfect storm to trigger change.

The NRL is said to be reviewing the current policy, with talks ongoing on how the system can be improved while ensuring the best interests are served of those most important, i.e. Isaac Moses.

And if the system is overhauled to ensure greater fairness, it will leave one resonating question:

What else could we change in rugby league because it upset Ricky Stuart?

There are many things the coach would like to death ride in to the earth’s core; the press, Ashley Klein, and many of his own halfbacks, just to name a few.

Perhaps the game can outlaw probing questions, comfortable leads, or even just bring back voicemail in place of all those ‘textas.’

— Dane Eldridge is a warped cynic yearning for the glory days of rugby league, a time when the sponges were magic and the Mondays were mad. He’s never strapped on a boot in his life, and as such, should be taken with a grain of salt.