Bulldogs becoming a graveyard where careers go to die

The Bulldogs’ lacklustre Round 1 showing further highlighted a growing headache about the club’s latest batch of star recruits.

NRL 2024 RD01 Parramatta Eels v Canterbury-Bankstown Bulldogs - Stephen Crichton NRL PHOTOS

COMMENT

Remember when the Bulldogs weren’t a ropey side you could safely back against a NSW Cup team?

When they had a forward pack of hagrid thundercats that played like they were raised in a storm drain?

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When their halves were schemers and their coaches expressionless and sieged behind famous surnames and Oakleys?

And most importantly, who remembers when they would religiously play finals, and set the standard in doing so?

From 1993 onwards, the Bulldogs played September footy in 18 of 23 seasons, earning success with a reptilian style where they’d step over their own mothers to scrap for a Twistie.

These sides were known for being scary as hell too, and with players like Brokenshire, McCracken and Ward, even their names implied you were about to be hospitalised.

But these days are now but a distant memory.

Sadly, today’s “Dogs of Woe” have gone six straight years without making the top eight - and barring something drastic like a 17 team McIntyre System, it doesn’t look like changing anytime soon.

Josh Addo-Carr’s shoulder injury is salt in the wounds for the Dogs. (Photo by Brendon Thorne/Getty Images)

Reed Mahoney hasn’t been the same player since arriving at the club. (Photo by Brendon Thorne/Getty Images)

For the love of Bullfrog Moore and Folkesy’s Oakleys, where the hell did it go wrong?

Put simply, somewhere along the line this once-imperious club made peace with living in an ongoing rebuild that keeps getting cleaned-out and paid-off before it begins.

Sure, the Bankstown club’s round one loss to the Eels on Saturday was as gutsy and well-drilled as it gets for a 26-8 defeat - and yes, its only round one - but it only further highlighted a newer, more frustrating headache for embattled Doggies fans.

That being, their club is finally attracting good players, but once they don the jersey, they’re either wasting or wasted.

Sure, seeing names on their roster like Matt Burton, Stephen Crichton, Josh Addo-Carr and Viliame Kikau is eons away from the Dean Pay era, when the former club great was tasked with cleaning up Des Hasler’s mess with nothing more than a batch of reserve-graders and a handful of coupons.

But what’s the point of buying a heap of catamarans if they’re neglected and docked in a horse stable?

Drew Hutchison has a huge task as the team’s new halfback. Pic: NRL PHOTOS

Phil Gould has been tasked with fixing the Bulldogs roster. Picture: NRL Photos

Since signing, Mahoney has lost his guile, Addo-Carr has lost his Origin jumper, and Burton has lost his bearings- and that’s not just his flat-earth ideals.

And when your roster is two-speed like Canterbury’s - with a number of top-line, well-paid talents offset with more pawns and utilities than a Monopoly board - the big names need to carry the dependants by regularly flexing their dad-strength.

But sadly, these terrific talents are either wilting behind beaten packs, on lonely wings and/or in positions of unfamiliarity.

Mahoney is tireless but frustrated behind the tiniest front-row in the comp, Burton’s confusion in the halves is manifesting in bomb-happy mind-rot, and while Addo-Carr has returned to his best since losing his Blues jersey, guys like him and Viliame Kikau will catch scurvy on an edge before any decent ball finds it way out there.

And worst of all, how will this impact new signing Stephen Crichton?

Stephen Crichton needs to get more attacking opportunities. Pic: NRL PHOTOS

One common thread among pundits from Saturday’s game was that after eight runs for 60 metres, Cameron Ciraldo needs to do something to get the ball in this bloke’s hands more often before his touch rate plunges to rugby levels.

Can this be addressed by shifting Burton back to centre and replacing him with someone in the halves who - stay with me here - is a half?

Does Ciraldo punt on Crichton at fullback? Or can the former Panther simply take nine hit-ups a set and get the ball to himself out wide?

Either way, something needs to change before the leaks and agitation begin - both externally and internally.

Otherwise, Canterbury will continue as a graveyard where careers die and saviours go in reverse quicker than Ben Creagh facing Justin Hodges.

- Dane Eldridge is a warped cynic yearning for the glory days of rugby league, a time when the sponges were magic and the Mondays were mad. He’s never strapped on a boot in his life, and as such, should be taken with a grain of salt.