Brad Fittler must do the unthinkable and flip Origin on its head

Brad Fittler is staring down the barrel of another State of Origin “headless s***show” and things are getting desperate.

BRISBANE, AUSTRALIA - APRIL 28: Adam Reynolds of the Broncos during the warm up before the round nine NRL match between Brisbane Broncos and South Sydney Rabbitohs at Suncorp Stadium on April 28, 2023 in Brisbane, Australia. (Photo by Bradley Kanaris/Getty Images)

COMMENT

If we can’t prevail over Queensland with a line-up of back-to-back premiers, it’s time for New South Wales to enlist its next best weapon, a team that just bashed up the Gold Coast Titans.

For Brad Fittler to have any chance in Game 2, he needs to call an audible on the pecking order and elevate Adam Reynolds to halfback, surround him with his former Rabbitohs alumni and transform the Blues into New Souths Wales.

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Nobody denies this is an utterly desperate call, not just because Suncorp eats reshuffled sides for brunch, but because most of us would rather squat naked over a campfire than support Souths.

But after being kink-shamed for his adventurous choices in the past, Fittler has no choice but to channel Jennifer Aniston and unveil something new-look and greying.

With injury to Nathan Cleary forcing the change Fittler would never make — as well as the shock news hooker Api Koroisau will miss the rest of the series — the Blues are suddenly scouring for a new system halfback who won’t kick it down the full-back’s gob every fifth tackle.

Old man Reynolds’ is the perfect choice, with his GPS kicking leg and intimate knowledge of Suncorp separating him from a chasing pack of fine candidates.

It’s Reynolds time. (Photo by Bradley Kanaris/Getty Images)

Better yet, with the Blues to spend large parts of the game as the Washington Generals, he is the Marie Kondo we need to keep our headless s***show in-check.

But while Reynolds might be the neatest fit for the undomesticated climes of a Lang Park must-win, he‘ll need his supporting cast to ensure maximum efficacy.

Obviously Fittler can’t pick any of the halfback’s Broncos teammates – mainly as they’ll all be on the rums by kick-off, Queensland reps included – so this means reassembling his Souths mafia.

The tough question. Photo by Mark Brake/Getty Images.

Call up the red-hot Cody Walker along with Damien Cook, Campbell Graham and anyone else Jason Demetriou’s hiding back there willing to cop two weeks of unholy scrutiny for $30,000.

Then plant Latrell Mitchell and Cam Murray in the hyperbaric chamber until they sprout new legs, and if they’re unavailable, lob in Keaon Koloamatangi, Alex Johnston, or heck, just rapidly naturalise a couple of Burgesses.

The New Souths Wales. (Photo by Bradley Kanaris/Getty Images)

Relying on Souths is unnatural, it’s immoral, and it’s the Blues only hope even if it means tough phone calls for a couple of unlucky Blues mainstays.

Nicho Hynes loomed as the obvious choice to cover Cleary, but Fittler simply cannot risk a rookie halfback in a place crawling with fans who’ve been raised by wolves.

It also means a heartbreaking decision to overlook Jarome Luai, one of Fittler’s best in Adelaide and a personality tailor-made for metabolising the stress of a crunch fixture.

Sadly for Luai, this style of ballsy call is necessary when the series is on the line.

And nobody would’ve heard his boom box over that psychotic crowd anyway.

- Dane Eldridge is a warped cynic yearning for the glory days of rugby league, a time when the sponges were magic and the Mondays were mad. He’s never strapped on a boot in his life, and as such, should be taken with a grain of salt.