‘It’s f***ing scary’: How full 34-min police tape changed my mind on Sam Kerr saga

Listening to the full 34 minutes of Sam Kerr’s interaction with police — and the heart-sinking moment her voice breaks — changed my view completely, writes SAM SQUIERS.

Every woman has felt like Sam Kerr felt.

Listening to the full 34 minutes of Sam Kerr and Kristie Mewis’ interaction with police changed my view completely.

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Not the snippet of Sam, calling the police officer “stupid and white” which has gone viral this past week. The full 34 minutes.

The one where Sam, who was found not guilty on Wednesday of racially aggravated harassment, and her fiancé Kristie are trembling, they are terrified. Hearing the exasperation in their voices of having their concerns and fears blatantly dismissed by the police officers made my heart sink.

Sam: “When a male is driving the f***ing car fast, for two women, it’s f***ing scary”, after explaining the taxi driver was driving erratically and wouldn’t let them out of the car, even after agreeing to pay for the damage.

Police: “Hmm... OK”

Kristie: “But do you guys not believe us?”

Sam: “You’re acting like we’re lying” she says as her voice breaks.

I’m not arguing whether Sam is right, nor whether the taxi driver is in right, like the court case that’s not what’s at issue. But at the end of 30 minutes of these women’s clear safety concerns about the taxi driver being consistently and flippantly dismissed, that’s when Sam snapped and made the comments in question.

VERDICT: SAM KERR FOUND NOT GUILTY

WATCH THE FULL VIDEO BELOW

I don’t condone what Sam said but after watching the full video I feel her frustration and I feel her fear.

Every woman has felt like Sam Kerr felt.

There are learned behaviours we pick up from a young age.

Put your keys through your fingers when walking at night.

Pretend to call someone when your surrounds scare you.

Cross the street if someone is walking behind you.

A girlfriend of mine calls her mum on the way home from work each night, she talks to her the whole way, especially the walk from her car to her front door. They hang up only when she’s inside and the door’s locked behind her.

My female colleagues won’t let each other walk to the carpark alone at night.

Women get it.

Not every man does.

Sam Kerr outside Kingston Crown Court in south London.

Recently I was trying to explain to a male colleague that catching the train from Central Station at midnight after we leave work isn’t an option for me. “Really” he answered. “Why? There’s so many people around, nothing would happen”.

My netball teammates and I went out for drinks after our game at the uni a few weeks back. I left early as I had to go home and on the way back became lost in the dimly lit university. I became so scared, I just ran as fast as I could, imagining the nightmare of my potential attack with every step. When I told a friend the next morning, he couldn’t understand my fear in that moment, scoffed at my story and told me “The uni’s the last place you’re going to be attacked or raped”.

It’s the privilege of being a man that you’ve never had to feel, react or fear in that way.

It felt the same listening to the full 34 minutes of Sam Kerr’s interaction with the police officers that night. They pleaded with the police officer to understand the fear they felt as the driver sped away and wouldn’t let them out. Kristie was so fearful, it’s the reason she smashed the back window. They spent over half an hour pleading with the police officers to understand and interview the driver. They didn’t take their concerns seriously.

At one point the police officer said ”In hindsight has anything happened to you? You were going off hypotheticals that could have happened? They didn’t happen did they? You do not know those man’s intentions you’ve just gone off a hypothetical of a scenario that has happened to someone else and said that could have happened? Do you think that a person that’s going to rape you would drive you to the police station?”

Every woman has felt like Sam Kerr has felt.

Sam Kerr and partner Kristie Mewis.

Sure it was a poor choice of words, but I believe her defence that her selection of “stupid and white” at the end of the video felt more a representation of the power and privilege of never being in a situation when you feared for your safety due to your gender and race, than it did a reverse racism attack.

Other women have felt it too.

Former NZ Football Fern and Team Heroine Founder Rebecca Sowden posted on LinkedIn “Anyone else feel uncomfortable watching Sam Kerr’s criminal case unfold? Before smashing a taxi window to ‘escape’, Kerr & partner, Kristie Mewis feared they were being kidnapped after the driver locked the doors & windows, drove erratically & wouldn’t stop (after Kerr spit-vomited out the window). Whenever I take a taxi/uber, particularly at night I study the driver ID & am on high alert. Sadly, I’m sure many women go through similar ‘fears’ when doing other ‘day-to-day’ activities (taxis, jogging, walking to your car at night…). Feeling afraid during daily activities should not be, but is the reality for many women.”

Federal Sports Minister Anika Wells also weighed in and said “The more we find out about the incident the more you can understand why they’ve acted the way they have…Sam certainly has Australia behind her.”

Sam Kerr celebrates her incredible World Cup semi-final goal against England.

At one point in the video, Sam rattled off numerous scenarios of women being attacked and raped in nearby London suburbs. In her evidence she mentioned growing up in Perth in a time of the Claremont serial killer.

One woman posted on twitter “I went to the same high school as Sam Kerr. So did two of the girls who were murdered by the Claremont serial killer. For decades, a taxi driver was the suspect. I cannot over emphasise the impact these murders had for girls who went to my school. The fear was drilled into us.”

Like walking with keys in your hand, a suspicion of taxis is another learned behaviour for some girls growing up in the 90s in Perth. That closeness, that awful reality hits harder than most and never leaves you.

So don’t talk about Sam losing the captaincy, don’t talk about her tarnished legacy, don’t talk about this court case outcome until you have watched the full 34 minutes of Sam Kerr’s interaction with police.

Every woman has felt like Sam Kerr has felt.

We need men in positions of power to understand that fear.

Originally published as ‘It’s f***ing scary’: How full 34-min police tape changed my mind on Sam Kerr saga