Chelsea in Sydney: Blues manager Jose Mourinho enjoys repartee with Sydney FC coach Graham Arnold

WHEN two of the world’s grumpiest coaches came face to face, we expected a standover contest. What we ended up with was stand-up comedy.

Jose Mourinho Manager of the Chelsea Football Club with Graham Arnold coach of Sydney FC in front of the Sydney Opera House during a photo opportunity ahead of the Chelsea FC v Sydney FC one off football match at ANZ Stadium. Pic Brett Costello

IT wasn’t supposed to be like this. There were too many smiles, too many jokes, too much mutual respect and appreciation. When the world’s two grumpiest coaches came face to face, we expected a standover contest and ended up with stand-up comedy.

Sydney FC’s Graham Arnold came into the room first, his face promisingly furrowed with a frown that suggested someone had told him a referee had just bought the house next door. Then Jose Mourinho followed, with an apologetic little wave and a smile of acknowledgement for those present from Chelsea’s triple EPL-winning coach.

These are masters of the managerial black arts, skilled in propaganda and victim-think. The letters “FFA” spelt out an expletive in Arnold’s head, while Mourinho could pick a fight with his reflection, even in the dark.

CAPTAIN:Chelsea’s John Terry says match will be ‘huge’

Maybe though the slight delay had been caused by them ticking off one-liners outside. When Chelsea captain John Terry anticipated playing in front of an 83,000-strong “hostile” crowd, Arnold looked at him. “I can promise you one thing John, the crowd will be more on your side,” he said, even making Mourinho grin.

The Chelsea coach described his “responsibility to play well, to play our best players, to try to win, and to give the supporters a good experience.” Back came Arnold. “We’ll give it our best shots but Jose, you don’t have to play your best team,” he said. “We’re good hosts but we’re not that good.”

Then Mourinho was asked, tongue in cheek, if the prospect of an away game in front of such a sizeable crowd meant he was tempted to “park the bus” and load up his defence.

“When the opponent has the ball you have to park the bus all the time,” he said grinning hugely. “If the opponent doesn’t score goals you have more chances to win. But I can give already a tip to the coach Arnold. My three attacking players will be [Loic] Remy, Diego Costa and Eden Hazard. So even if you park the bus - with these three guys, be careful.”

Ah, replied Arnold. “Can we have a double decker bus.”

Jose Mourinho, Eden Hazard and captain John Terry of Chelsea FC next to captain Alex Brosque and Shane Smeltz and Graham Arnold.

It was all becoming alarmingly warm and fuzzy, with Mourinho sounding almost prime ministerial on a visit to some far-distant colony.

Chelsea football player Diego Costa (C) is mobbed by fans.

“For us it is very important as a club, when we have not been here for a long, long time, and as we come as champions we have an even bigger responsibility,” he said. “Having 83,000 is huge, it’s fantastic, and we want to play well.

Chelsea football captain John Terry (L) shares a light moment with teammate Eden Hazard (R).

“So I’m not saying we are at the top of our potential, but we are good enough to give the fans a good show, and give our opponents what they expect, which is a good game.”

Chelsea star Eden Hazard poses for pictures with fans in Sydney.

Arnold himself seemed disconcertingly on the verge of welling up, as he described the radiant smiles of the teenagers who had faced another EPL visitor, Tottenham, in Sydney’s colours on Saturday night.

“It was a wonderful opportunity to play Tottenham, and we had a number of 17- and 18-year olds on the field,” he said. “To see their smiles after the game, to play their idols, was a real joy. This adds to Australian football as the A-League is still young. For Chelsea to add to the game of football here is mindblowing.”

Mourinho, though, had the last word, as he usually does, when somebody mentioned his longtime rival Arsene Wenger. Did Mourinho, he was asked, have a message for Wenger in light of Arsenal’s FA Cup win the night before?

“Yes,” he nodded. “Enjoy.”

Originally published as Chelsea in Sydney: Blues manager Jose Mourinho enjoys repartee with Sydney FC coach Graham Arnold