Asian Cup organisers urge Socceroos fans to adopt a second team for the tournament

AS part its publicity blitz Asian Cup organisers are asking us to ‘adopt a team’, so why not give it go.

This undated picture released from North Korea's official Korean Central News Agency (KCNA) on December 9, 2014 shows North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un (C) reacting as he joins a photo session with the participants in the second meeting of Korean People's Army (KPA) exemplary servicemen's families in Pyongyang. AFP PHOTO / KCNA via KNS REPUBLIC OF KOREA OUT THIS PICTURE WAS MADE AVAILABLE BY A THIRD PARTY. AFP CAN NOT INDEPENDENTLY VERIFY THE AUTHENTICITY, LOCATION, DATE AND CONTENT OF THIS IMAGE. THIS PHOTO IS DISTRIBUTED EXACTLY AS RECEIVED BY AFP. ---EDITORS NOTE--- RESTRICTED TO EDITORIAL USE - MANDATORY CREDIT "AFP PHOTO / KCNA VIA KNS" - NO MARKETING NO ADVERTISING CAMPAIGNS - DISTRIBUTED AS A SERVICE TO CLIENTS

AS part its publicity blitz Asian Cup organisers are asking us to ‘adopt a team’. Given this involves slightly less emotional investment than owning a pet rock I’m giving it go.

Insultingly the official website tried to hook me up with Bahrain. I mean, do I like the sort of guy who’d support a country with a recorded maximum rainfall of 71.88mm, 330 species of birds and an increasingly prosperous aluminium manufacturing industry?

North Korean leader Kim Jong Un.

Fortunately you can ignore the computer’s arbitrary allocation and select from a drop-down menu where the choice of ‘’second team’’ – assuming, after recent results, the Socceroos are still your first — is a no-brainer: Go on you North Koreans!

Yes, I know, with all the having your enemies eaten alive by savage dogs, the nuclear weapons and the threats to turn Seoul into a ‘’sea of fire’’, North Korea is not the most politically sensitive choice.

But as any Pyongyang Times subscriber can tell you, North Korea is the team for anyone who pulled a Rabbitohs’ cap from the bottom draw in late September. The bandwagoner’s choice.

After all, who doesn’t think North Korea won’t follow its 38-0 World Cup final victory over Brazil by trouncing the ignorant, slovenly and morally bankrupt nations of the decadent west to win a tenth straight Asian Cup?

So North Korea’s coach Yun Jong Su was banned for 12 months by the AFC last week for attacking the referee during an under-23 game against South Korea? Hardly matters when your country is run by a man who makes Sir Alex Ferguson look like Elmer Fudd.

After North Korea’s women’s team won a recent tournament coach Kim Kwang Min said ‘’supreme leader’’ Kim Jong Un had given his team ‘’things even experts weren’t aware of’’.

‘’The enormous care and love of respect Marshall Kim Jong Un is the source of the strength of our women’s soccer,’’ said Kim Kwang, clearly relieved he wouldn’t be sent to work on a construction site or eaten by a Doberman.

More importantly, North Korea is choice of local fans wanting the Asian Cup to be a success because its first game against Uzbekistan at ANZ Stadium represents the Asian Cup’s greatest challenge — attracting decent crowds to vast stadiums for games between nations with the box office appeal of full-contact algebra.

The reshuffling of the Test series between Australia and India hasn’t made things easier for a tournament that is already up against the increasingly popular Big Bash League and the Australian Open tennis.

’Nutmeg’, the official AFC Asian Cup Australia mascot.

The last two days of the Sydney Test now coincide with the first two days of the Asian Cup meaning the battle for media time and television eyeballs will prove even more difficult.

Although no one is more sympathetic about this change than Michael Brown, the Asian Cup chief executive who as a former funeral director and Cricket Australia employee helped organise Phillip Hughes’ funeral in Macksville.

More troubling for the organisers is a potential clash between a notional Socceroos semi-final at ANZ Stadium and an Australia-India one-dayer at the SCG on Australia Day. Although, given 75 per cent of the tournaments budgets is based on Australia’s three group games, the semi-finals and the final, and the Socceroos’ sketchy form, a semi-final dates clash would be a good problem to have.

To their credit the Asian Cup spruikers are working hard. During a national tour the trophy has been thrust in front of more cameras than Kim Kardashian’s derrière.

Nutmeg the mascot — a wombat striker who presumably eats, shoots and leaves — has worked himself into such a lather the next person to climb inside the costume might need an oxygen mask.

And given the Asian Cup has more ambassadors than a wine tasting night at the French Embassy there have been plenty of willing cross-promoters selling the message on TV and radio.

The results so far — against the organiser’s admittedly modest expectations — are good. Ticket sales for the non-Australian games have already exceeded budget by five per cent. Matches involving Japan and South Korea have sold particularly well with crowds of well in excess of 10,000 anticipated.

Socceroos Asian Cup promo in Fed Square. Picture: Jay Town

A tougher sell are games such as North Korea-Uzbekistan where there are very few travelling fans and only small immigrant communities — there are about 200 Ubeiki residents in Sydney. Inevitably tiny crowds in cavernous ANZ Stadium will be seized upon by some as ‘’evidence’’ the tournament is a failure.

However ANZ Stadium offered a much better commercial deal to Asian Cup organisers than Allianz Stadium and came with a significant advantage — should Australia reach the final it can hold twice as many fans.

The downside? Even if the Socceroos reach the final they will be smashed by North Korea. If you don’t believe me read the match report in the Pyongyang Times.

Originally published as Asian Cup organisers urge Socceroos fans to adopt a second team for the tournament