The Ashes Files: Adam Voges’s late call, Alastair Cook fixed and England v Australia 2005 revisited
NEWS and nonsense ahead of the series, including view from over there, Kevin Pietersen’s Ashes diary and The Ashes explained in (poorly drawn) diagrams.
ROUNDING up all the news, views and nonsense ahead of Australia’s defence of the urn in England this winter.
Adam Voges proving age is just a number, Alastair Cook finding form with the help of Austria’s finest, 2005 revisited and the latest instalment of Kevin Pietersen’s alternative Ashes diary.
CONCUSSED ROGERS TO MISS FIRST TEST
LYON ON VERGE OF 111-YEAR-OLD RECORD
IS THIS THE WORST BALL IN HISTORY
WHAT YOU MIGHT HAVE MISSED
Better late than never
Way back in 2009, Adam Voges was a source of contention, even condemnation. His crime? One of passion. Or, more specifically, that of pulling out of a one-day tour of South Africa to get married.
A newcomer to the squad with just three short-form appearances for Australia to his name, opinion was split, but plenty were of a mind that he should be banished forever from the fold for his act of selfish treachery. Regardless of the merits or otherwise of putting your life before your sport, it certainly didn’t help the cause of a man who has seemingly been on the fringes of the full national team for his entire career, despite chalking up 38 limited overs caps, without ever making that final push.
Until now, perhaps. As Australia gear up for a two Test series in West Indies, Voges is, finally, on the verge of making his Test debut. At the ripe old age of 35.
His case is compelling with the Western Australian in the form of his life. He joined the squad coming off a record-breaking Sheffield Shield season in which he plundered 1358 runs at an average of 104.46. That form continued during a recent spell in England with Middlesex — another feather to his potential Ashes baggy green cap, having picked up some local knowledge over there — in eight first class innings Voges scored three 50s and a ton.
“If I was honest with you 12 months ago I didn’t think I’d be standing here,” Voges said in the Caribbean, “there were times when I thought my time had gone.
“I guess when Chris Rogers [also aged 35 at the time] got selected on the back of big domestic runs, you always felt like there was still that chance if you scored a mountain of runs. There was always that glimmer of hope even if it felt like that chance had gone by.”
With Rogers out of the first Test through concussion, Voges being out gunned by rival Shaun Marsh in the last warm up match may not be the fatal blow to his chances some had predicted.
“It was never about my love for my country,” Voges said of the marital decision he has no regrets over, in a recent interview with the Guardian. “I have always dreamed of representing Australia.”
Whether it is in West Indies or England, there is a sense of certainty that he will finally get to do so at Test level this winter.
The secret to Cook’s success
England’s revitalised captain Alastair Cook has revealed the unexpected driver behind his upturn in recent fortunes with the bat — a private batting coach formerly in charge of Austrian cricket. Really.
After recording his 27th Test hundred at Lords’ against the Kiwis, Cook gave thanks to one Gary Palmer for helping him out of a slump that had threatened to become a depression. Who, you ask? And well you might.
It turns out Palmer, a 49-year-old journeyman who played 54 first-class matches for Somerset between 1982 and 1988, and is the son of former Test umpire Ken, had been hosting private sessions for Cook that were completely outside the realm of the England and Wales Cricket Board.
Palmer tapped up Graham Gooch for some work; Gooch is Cook’s mentor; the two were introduced and Cook is in the runs again.
And that’s not the only evidence Palmer knows his stuff. His website contains a glowing reference from none other than our own Steve Waugh and John Buchanan, who came across him during the 2001 Ashes tour, signing off that Palmer was “well received by all members of the Australian team and we would utilise his services wherever possible in the future.”
It was after that that Palmer headed to Vienna and one of world cricket’s less celebrated postings. On his return to the UK he built up his own freelance coaching business which, according to the official website, promotes his cricketing philosophy of “making batting easier by teaching players to hit between mid-on and mid-off to the highest technical standards”.
If that’s what’s fixed Captain Cook, at least Australia will know what plans to lay for him this winter. Just get Steve to ask his mate Gary.
Memories are made of this
Any Aussies heading over to the UK for this year’s Ashes should steel themselves for a bombardment of wall-to-wall wallowing in memories of ‘The Greatest Ever Series’.
It’s 10 years on since 2005 and all that, when the gallant English finally slew the biggest of big beasts and were duly rewarded with open top bus rides and tea with the Queen. Or the functioning of the statistical law of averages giving them a victory long overdue, and only after Glenn McGrath twisted his ankle, depending on your point of view.
And so patrons have already been offered the chance to dine out, literally, on that success at the home of cricket. With the promise/threat of a night compared by Piers Morgan, with musical accompaniment of the horrendous sounding Mark Butcher Band. If that doesn’t scream party of the decade, I don’t know what does …
And if that hasn’t sated your need for evenings spent remembering glories past, you could always grab yourself a ticket for the cringe-fest that appears to be on offer from a night out with Andrew ‘Freddie’ Flintoff, as he takes his puzzlingly popular podcast out on the road and in to a theatre near you, if you live in the UK. Which, judging by this trailer, we all have yet another reason to be grateful we do not.
VIEW FROM OVER THERE
“[T]he vicious treatment of [England’s] bowling by a ferocious New Zealand batting line-up over the course of this second Investec Test has given them not only pause for thought but a glimpse of how Australia will attack them this summer.
And that must cause something of a rethink on bowling plans if not personnel this summer.”
The Daily Express has been easily spooked by the sight of the Kiwi tailenders rather undermining the view that England has found a settled four and a half man bowling attack of Jimmy Anderson, Stuart Broad, Mark Wood, Ben Stokes and Moeen Ali.
THE PHONY WAR
Amused by the @HardysWineUK ads at headingley- bring on #theashes pic.twitter.com/TONRA6nQCf
— Jill Sarsfield (@jillsars) May 29, 2015HOW SCARED ARE THE ENGLISH
“I see the echoes of 2005 in this England team and the summer we could be about to enjoy ... Before Lord’s I thought England had no chance in the Ashes. However, if they can build on that performance then they could create something special this summer, but only if they continue to take risks and play intensive cricket.” – Former England captain Michael Vaughan gets all nostalgic after England win a single Test match against the Kiwis.
Verdict: 3/10 — About as scared as … an American teenager in a B-movie horror flick walking in to an old deserted barn (he thinks it looks safe, but the sinister music playing over the wide shot says different, eh?)
NUMBERS GAME
4 - The number of wickets Nathan Lyons needs to bag on the spin friendly tracks in the West Indies to become Australia’s leading wicket-taking off-spinner. If/when he gets them, he will break Hugh Tumble’s 111 year old record of 141 from 32 tests between 1890 and 1904.
DIARY OF KEVIN PIETERSEN (AGED 34 AND THREE QUARTERS)*
JUNE 01 AM:
Back at the Oval today ready to stuff it to Andrew Strauss and Phil Graves. Again! Get a county they said; score runs they said; there’d be a clean slate then, they said. Ha! Everyone heard them. There’ll be some red faces at the ECB when I win this match on my own. Let my cricket — and Piers Morgan — do my talking, that’s all I can do.
JUNE 01 PM:
Bah! That didn’t go to plan. Still, no one’s probably noticed what with my under-the-radar humility and quiet understatedness. Anyway, it wasn’t my fault. There was so much weather about. I have some real trust issues with the English summer. And Kyle Jarvis is a superstar bowler. Everyone knows that. He’s set for big things. England won’t pick him though, they wouldn’t know quality even when it jags one away from me third ball I’ve faced. Did manage to get two runs in that time though. Which still makes me better than Gary Ballance.
THE ASHES EXPLAINED IN (POORLY CONSTRUCTED) VENN DIAGRAMS
How to pick a new England coach for the Ashes:
*Not actually written by the real Kevin Pietersen, for anyone at risk of having a Jack Warner moment.
Originally published as The Ashes Files: Adam Voges’s late call, Alastair Cook fixed and England v Australia 2005 revisited
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