‘Suss’: Why Cummins still needs to be stripped of captaincy

Pat Cummins’ stocks have never been higher after Australia’s World Cup glory but there remains a “suss” truth that can’t be ignored.

COMMENT

Pat Cummins has worn plenty of knocks on his captaincy, with many convinced he can’t set a decent field because he drives an EV.

But the big skipper has laid to rest at least one of these accusations after leading Australia from the brink of Wallaby-like shame to its sixth World Cup title.

While enduring a mixed bag throughout the tournament, his bold cahones in the final will rest forevermore in the craw of his haters.

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It was a stunning turnaround after his decision to bowl after winning the toss was met with enough disbelief that Cricket Australia would’ve considered posting the news with the comments switched off.

With many believing Australia’s only chance was to set a target somewhere between 3-4 thousand, we all thought Cummins decision was either a charitable gesture or Tourette’s.

But when he coolly exploited the conditions to restrict India to a total they’d usually budget for by the first drinks break, we knew this bloke had played us off the break.

It was a stunning heist that capped a wavy tournament for Cummins.

He copped stick for letting India off the hook in the opener before earning praise for standing aside against Afghanistan while Glenn Maxwell went tropical.

He was also lauded for his tactics in halting Sri Lanka’s momentum in their must-win fixture, a game that was preceded by former skipper Michael Clarke claiming he could be dropped due to his indifferent bowling.

He then went off-script in the semi-final by boldly extending the opening spells of Mitchell Starc and Josh Hazlewood while the ball was talking tongues, however his decision to leave Hazlewood with two overs spare could’ve been rued for the extra size on the Proteas total that riddled the Aussie chase with mental ringworm.

Australia's captain Pat Cummins receives the ICC Cricket World Cup Trophy. Photo by Money SHARMA / AFP.

But after cheerily delivering World Cup glory, this all now means bugger-all.

Cummins has surely earned a pass mark that will stick it up his critics, at least until he shows sincere concern for the environment again.

Prior to the final, the skipper made it clear he wanted to retain the ODI captaincy despite it being a short-term appointment that expired at COB on Sunday.

But with no 50 over cricket until January and a pair of cafeteria test series looming against the West Indies and Pakistan, there’s no better time to usher in a new skipper to be subjected to our insurmountable demands.

To be clear, punting Cummins as skipper is not just because his field placings are a bit suss.

It’s because we’re selfish and we need him forever.

Yes, the handsome quick ain’t no Tubby Taylor/Napoleon lovechild when it comes to tactical leadership, essentially juggling his twin roles by relying on committee and a conservative, pre-programmed approach to the captaincy, kinda like a walking plug-in hybrid.

But the main drawback of his captaincy is it prevents a spell when he’s clearly knackered.

Australia Captain Pat Cummins the morning after. Photo by Darrian Traynor-ICC/ICC via Getty Images.

This was evident in this year’s Ashes series, where his need for downtime was cancelled solely because the ball refused to reverse in Cape Town six years ago.

But with Travis Head now a permanent fixture in the team and Steve Smith to bolster the brains trust, it’s time to hand the reins back to an unburdened batsman with his feet up in the cordon all day.

And let’s be honest; we all knew this was the conclusion this arrangement was headed for.

Everyone knows Australia’s history.

We don’t play spin, we don’t pass referendums, and we sure as hell don’t pick bowling captains.

That’s why Cummins’ appointment was met with scepticism as it flew in the face of Australia’s preferred leader- sports science.

As such, we must relent to our masters in the lab and strip Cummins of the captaincy.

Let’s do the right thing by this tireless warrior and retire him to the relative comfort of bowling 45 overs a day without relief.

— Dane Eldridge is a warped cynic yearning for the glory days of rugby league, a time when the sponges were magic and the Mondays were mad. He’s never strapped on a boot in his life, and as such, should be taken with a grain of salt.