Commonwealth Games 2018: Smiles on dials the highlight of any ceremony...except the really bright ones

THERE were fashion disasters, grating television hosts but nothing beats the look of wonderment and joy on every athlete’s face as they enter the stadium, writes Mike Colman.

THE Gold Coast Commonwealth Games Opening Ceremony was all about history, reconciliation and orthodontics.

For those at Carrara Stadium who braved public transport and steady rain it was an exercise in patience and resilience rewarded with an unforgettable, once in a lifetime experience.

For the rest of us sitting in our lounge-chairs, it was a portent of what to expect over the next 11 days as the official broadcasters take us on a high energy journey of enthusiasm, hyperbole and ads for My Kitchen Rules.

Laura Geitz gives a lifesaver a high five.

The hour leading up to the ceremony itself raised as many questions as answers.

Such as, how do hosts Edwina Bartholomew and Hamish McLachlan get their teeth so white? I had to adjust the brightness on the TV for fear of getting a migraine. If those two can keep up their ear-to-ear smiles for the length of the Games without suffering paralysis they’ll deserve a gold medal of their own.

You had to take your hat off to their coverage though. They had all the big stories covered: inspiring athletes who had overcome enormous odds just to get to the starting line, world champs out to cement their legacy, and the big one — Giaan Rooney buying Steve Hooker a pair of shorts.

The Australian team make their way into the stadium.

Unluckiest athlete of the night was without a doubt Australian women’s rugby sevens player Charlotte Caslick. There she was, thinking she had a spare seat next to her on the bus when Jim Wilson arrives and plonks himself down.

No wonder she was calling out for her Mummy.

She couldn’t wait to get to the stadium, and after 60 minutes of being hit over and over again with the words “legend” and “electric” in a TV commentary version of waterboarding, neither could we.

The ceremony itself was great; relatively sweet and rich with symbolism, from the birth of a nation to recognition of two of nature’s most astonishing creatures: Migaloo the white whale, and Jack Thompson.

The Nigerian delegation make their way into the stadium.

Migaloo was there to provide a link to the Gold Coast’s ocean heritage. Jack was there so those old blokes marching in the athletes’ parade had someone to relate to.

Incidentally, that’s why the life guards were there. Some of those team officials looked like they were a couple of handwaves off a coronary.

Not that you can blame them for wanting to get out of the old folks’ home and take part.

Nothing that can be choreographed in a planning meeting, regardless of the number of neon lights or amplified musical instruments, can ever come close to the colour and movement of the teams as they make their way around the arena.

Not even the palpable disappointment felt by the millions watching when the Tongan flag-bearer kept his gear on could dampen the moment.

In his stead, there was still plenty to have the pulse racing.

The Scots in their kilts, the team from Lesotho in their straw lampshades (or maybe they were hats. Whatever.)

Best outfits go to Sierra Leone. Flagbearer Hafsatu Kamara leads the delegation during the opening ceremony.

Best dancers were the team from Malawi, best outfits went to Sierra Leone, in a photo from Dominica where disco is obviously not yet dead.

Smartest team was Gambia. Realising it was going to be a late night (maybe they were planning using public transport), they wore their nightgowns.

Making up for the great Tongan cover-up — and then some — were the two young ladies from Trinidad and Tobago who obviously came straight from the Mardis Gras in Rio and didn’t have time to change.

Canada’s team give a thumbs up to the camera.

England had an interesting take on the Opening Ceremony uniform.

Speaking of which, what were those England outfits about? Aren’t they supposed to be the best funded team at the Games? It looked like the Sports England bosses told them just to grab whatever they wear down to the pub on darts night. The bloke in the T-shirt out the front should have been carrying a pint of bitter instead of the flag. No wonder Prince Charles sat on his hands.

Mark Knowles’ joy at being the flagbearer was there for all to see.

Happily Australia brought a little bit of decorum and tradition back to proceedings. Thank goodness whoever chose the uniforms decided against the licorice-allsort fashion crimes of Games past and went with blazers, skirts and trousers — sport’s version of the Little Black Dress. If only someone had thought to tell Mark Knowles that the flag-bearer is supposed to march at the front of the team, and not the back, it would be perfect.

South African delegation deliver a message for back home.

But even then, it still wouldn’t have come close to the most heartwarming sight of the night: Namibia’s blind flag-bearer Ananias Shikongo, a gold medal-winner in Rio, being led around the track by his teammate. Brilliant.

Say what you will about the over-the-top one-upmanship of Commonwealth Games Opening Ceremonies, but when it all comes down to it, there’s one thing no-one can ever top.

The look of wonderment, excitement and sheer joy on the face of every athlete as they walk out onto the track.

Unlike some of those officials, it just never gets old.

Originally published as Commonwealth Games 2018: Smiles on dials the highlight of any ceremony...except the really bright ones