Hobart’s great east-west debate divides Hit100.9 breakfast radio announcers Paul and Woody

Hit100.9 breakfast radio hosts Paul Hogan and Esther ‘Woody’ Woodhams discuss the merits of living on the Western Shore and Eastern Shore respectively.

Hit 100.9 breakfast radio hosts Paul Hogan and Esther ‘Woody’ Woodhams. Picture: RICHARD JUPE

Hit100.9 breakfast radio hosts Paul Hogan and Esther ‘Woody’ Woodhams discuss the merits of living on the Western Shore and Eastern Shore respectively.

HE SAID

We are a proud shore. A shore of Max Walker’s inswinger, David Walsh’s poker face and Errol Flynn’s green tights.

A shore boasting a big mountain, the oldest pub in Australia and some of Denmark’s Crown Jewels.

We are a shore that has a fully functioning 24-hour Kmart.

Forget the Great Pyramid and the Hanging Gardens of Babylon. Where else can one get an affordable bath mat at four in the morning?

You hear stories of Harrods closing its doors for Her Maj to do the Chrissy shopping (presumably cotton buds for Charles and sugar cubes for Camilla).

That’s what it’s like wandering around Kmart New Town in the wee small hours. Pushing a trolley up the empty aisles, chock full of decorative throw pillows. It makes you feel like royalty.

The last time I was over East there was a traffic jam in Old Beach. Roadworks you ask? Nup. A sheep was standing in the middle of the road. Maybe it was a local alderman?

Forget the Great Pyramid and the Hanging Gardens of Babylon. Where else can one get an affordable bath mat at four in the morning?

And don’t get me started on the Hobart “International” Airport. Just because you fly to Melbourne over the ocean doesn’t make it overseas. It’s just false advertising.

Us Westies wouldn’t call Maccas in the Cat and Fiddle a drive-through.

Even the word “West” is steeped in success.

Best TV show of all time? The West Wing. Who took home this year’s flag? The Western Bulldogs. Who has won 21 Grammys? Kanye West. Actually, strike that last one from the record.

As I sit here looking out the window of my New Town semi-detached rental, I can see 1271m of pristine mountain. I can hear the cries of “It’s a Grand Old Flag” from North Hobart Oval.

As I smell the fresh loaves of bread wafting from the Cripps ovens, I am safe in the knowledge that the West side is in fact the best side.

Paul and Woody from the Hit 100.9 breakfast show. Picture: RICHARD JUPE

SHE SAID

I attempted to live in the West. I really tried. I really did.

Until I promptly realised my error and relocated myself, my pets and anything I could lay my hands on.

There’s a lot to love about the East. Like the people, the temperature’s warmer. Pristine beaches, fresh air and houses that don’t share walls.

If you insist on using Errol Flynn as your mascot, please note that this guy actually spent his summers in South Arm to escape the mundane drudge of the West. Clearly these holidays enlightened him, catapulting Robin Hood to international stardom.

If we’re playing the name game, how’s this for a start: Falls Festival, oyster bars and an actual place called Doo-Town (because how cool is that). The Three Capes Walk has set a new benchmark for Australian bushwalks, as well as being branded this country’s most intriguing trail.

There’s a lot to love about the East. Like the people, the temperature’s warmer. Pristine beaches, fresh air and houses that don’t share walls.

To quote a recent Mercury article from September, Bellerive “leads the country as the most in-demand area for potential property buyers”. So, what took you guys so long?

The best part of the Eastern Shore is the city lights across the river.

A reminder to thank God we’re not there. The West is still, after decades, juggling the idea of putting a chairlift up a mountain.

How’s that working out? And let’s talk traffic. What are you guys doing over there? According to the latest TomTom Traffic Index, people are spending 29 per cent more time in Hobart traffic every day, namely trying to get through the CBD.

That’s up to 109 hours of extra travel time per year!

What are we Easties doing with our extra 109? We’re strolling to an international cricket match, lunching in the sun, or heading to a picture postcard beach (#nofilter).

Yes, our public transport system is abysmal. We’d like to thank the West for that. Note that Transport HQ is located over there. Any updates guys?

Originally published as Hobart’s great east-west debate divides Hit100.9 breakfast radio announcers Paul and Woody