Queensland mum’s tragic plea as she loses both sons to suicide

An Aussie mum has lived through a tragedy no mother should ever have to endure – two times over. Now she has a desperate plea.

A Queensland mum is making a desperate plea after losing both her sons to suicide, and nearly losing her granddaughter too.

Vicki Baker, 59, has lived through a tragedy no mother should ever have to endure – two times over.

“I lost both, my only two boys,” she told news.com.au. “You just question yourself so much. How did you miss it, what did you do, what you didn’t?”

The Maryborough local was beyond devastated when her youngest son, Anthony, aged 25, killed himself on March 3 last year.

Anthony left behind his three-year-old son and also his four siblings including his older brother, Greg, who took his death especially hard.

Eleven months and 15 days later, on February 18 this year, Greg, a dad-of-three, also took his own life.

“I always said after I lost Anthony that I was going to make it loud,” Ms Baker said.

“We need to be asking more ‘Are you OK?’. You can talk. Don’t try and deal with it on your own.”

Anthony and Greg pictured when they were young.

Ms Baker said the family was “very close” and she and her three daughters had known Anthony and Greg were struggling.

They were on medication and Anthony was seeing a psychologist.

The two brothers were “jokers” and the “life of the party” – particularly Greg – while Anthony was renowned for organising family get-togethers.

However, suicide is complex and Ms Baker said she ultimately would never know what was going through both men’s heads on the day they died.

Anthony had quit his job as a chef to become a full-time dad for his son, before he died.

He was stressed about his financial situation and felt he was a “burden” on the family because he had no money, according to his suicide note.

Ms Baker said she wished he had known the terrible impact his death would have on the family.

“When Anthony was on a downer, I’d say ‘think of (your son)’,” Ms Baker recalled.

Ms Baker said Anthony would say leaving his son without a father made him feel “sick in the guts”.

Anthony with his son.

It was a Tuesday morning, around 11.30am, that Anthony took his own life, in his sister’s home.

“On the morning he suicided, he’d had an hour and 45 minute call with Centrelink,” Ms Baker said, explaining he had been trying to get a parenting payment.

“He ended up getting $275 into his account the day of his funeral.

“Then they sent me another letter three days later and said that money wasn’t supposed to be his and took it back out.”

In a statement to news.com.au, Services Australia general manager Hank Jongen said: “A young person taking their own life is a tragedy. We extend our heartfelt condolences to this family for the deep loss they’ve experienced.

“Factors that contribute to someone taking their own life can be very complex and often not attributable to a single reason.

“We help people facing difficult situations every day and everyone should be aware of the supports available from us and a wide range of government and community services.”

Mr Jongen also added that they had been in contact with Ms Baker and had offered her “every available support”.

Ms Baker with her three daughters and two sons.

Anthony and Greg had a 10 year age gap.

Less than a year later, Greg, 35, also took his own life.

Greg was a father-of-three, with children aged 13, 11 and 5.

He had lost his job and his marriage had broken down, which meant he was living with his mother while he got back on his feet.

“He got a new job starting at the beginning of this year and we thought this is it, this is the turning point,” Ms Baker said. “He was working at a saw mill. We didn’t realise until after he passed away, he wasn’t going to work.”

The family were on high alert after Anthony’s death, knowing there was a risk of a “domino effect”. They knew Greg was particularly at risk.

“We weren’t going to let it happen. You watch the signs, you watch everything, we were scared of it happening again,” Ms Baker said.

“I didn’t think it would happen to me again, he wouldn’t do that (to us) … They’ve seen what happened afterwards, they wouldn’t do it again.”

Greg had three children. Picture: Supplied.

Greg passed away earlier this year.

Ms Baker thought Greg had gone to work on February 18.

“Then I messaged him during the day and he didn’t get back to me,” she explained.

“After Anthony passed away, if anybody contacted anybody they had to answer back, that was a big thing (in our family).”

Concerned, the mother contacted her middle daughter, Lauren, who said she had also texted Greg and had received no reply.

With a sinking feeling in her stomach, Ms Baker rushed home.

The mother saw Greg’s car in the driveway of her house. She recalls knocking on the door, hoping her son would answer, even though she had a set of keys to let herself in.

No-one came to the door.

“The whole place was silent and a butterfly flew past me,” Ms Baker said.

“I called Lauren and said she had to stay on the phone with me.

“I don’t know what happened after that, couldn’t tell you where the phone went.”

Tragically, Ms Baker entered the house and found her son’s body.

The Baker family are devastated.

The mum said the Baker family are very close. She had five children including Greg and Anthony. Between her five kids, she has nine grandchildren.

To anyone contemplating suicide, she has a simple message.

“Talk, reach out, to anyone. Talk to your family. I brought my kids up so they weren’t afraid to bring up anything, whether they were gay or anything,” Ms Baker said.

The mum is walking 40 kilometres in October to raise awareness about men’s mental health through the Black Dog Institute.

Some days she struggles to get out of bed and only manages to get dressed – but says she is inspired to stay strong for the sake of her children and grandchildren.

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