How footy fans would watch Question Time if politics was a sport

SOMETIMES Australia seems to treat politics like a sport. So a comedy group from Brisbane has taken this tendency to its hilarious conclusion.

SOMETIMES it feels like Australia treats politics as a sport.

Everyone picks a side and then staunchly defends their team’s every move, while crowing over the opposition’s mistakes.

Now a comedy group from Brisbane has taken this tendency to its logical conclusion with a priceless video showing three mates watching Question Time as if it were a football match.

Two Liberal supporters, dressed in blue as they watch the TV, chant Bill Shorten’s name, catcalling the Labor leader with: “You couldn’t lead a conga line, Shorten!”

Their Labor-supporting friend, wearing red, interrupts: “I reckon your backbenchers are practically asleep out there.”

The Lib fans ignore him, cheering and high-fiving as they celebrate “another great policy by Bishop”.

The Labor supporter begins calling for a spill, adding that the Shadow Minister for Tourism “makes it look Alban-easy!”

They all berate the ref. “Oh come on Madam Speaker, they’ve been doing it all term!”

“Is this Speaker blind? She’s got no idea.”

The boys cheer and shout at the TV as the MPs make their moves. Picture: Collective Noun

In a remarkably believable debate, they start discussing a policy that’s “a complete free-kick”, but looks set to be proposed by Malcolm Turnbull, who has a tendency to “float left”.

They outline the clear Liberal strategy: “Blame Labor, stop the boats, blame Labor. It’s textbook.”

But things start to go wrong for the Blues. “Turnbull, whose side are you on buddy?” yells the ALP fan, gleefully. “Look at him, Abbott’s in trouble here.”

Has politics turned into a national sport?

The Liberals become distressed. “He can still come back,” one insists.

“No he can’t, his own party want to sub him off!” responds the Labor fan.

One of the Liberal supporters starts crying. “Abbott is still the best, he’s a good captain,” he pleads.

At half-time, they discuss tactics over mini chardonnays in stubby-holders. Then it’s back to Question Time. “Come on the blue ties,” cheer the Libs.

“If you love him so much Tony, why don’t you knight him?” shouts another.

Angry supporters heckle the ref (Speaker Bronwyn Bishop)

Then it’s time for a quick debate on the players’ behaviour. “That type of language in Parliament? I hope there are no kids watching!”

“We can’t look at our politicians as role models,” says one, sorrowfully.

The clip concludes with the entrance of a Palmer United fan — but there are no seats on this couch for him. “Get out of here,” they shout. “We can agree on that one! Bipartisan!”

The satirical video was made by YouTube sketch group Collective Noun, made up of Dom Fay, Michael Parente, Zach Mander and Sam Borgert, who also have a show on Brisbane radio station B105.

Half-time means a refreshing mini-chardonnay and a discussion of tactics.

They came up with the idea after observing the betting odds on a leadership. “We were shocked by that, and after we each placed a bet, we decided there had to be something in it,” Dom told news.com.au.

“The most common response so far has been people saying that it’s not too far from the truth, which is a little worrying, but maybe it shouldn’t be. Maybe this is where politics should go.

“Add 50,000 spectator seats to Parliament House, get people walking around selling hot dogs, Peter Garrett can return to do the half-time entertainment ... when that inevitably happens, we just want people to know that we had the idea first.”