Sydney school’s culture questioned after 12yo pupil’s suicide

Fresh questions have been asked about how a Sydney school deals with bullying as a family mourns the suicide of a 12-year-old girl.

The culture at a Sydney school has been questioned after a 12-year-old student committed suicide following what her family claims was years of alleged bullying.

Current and former parents and students of Santa Sabina College at Strathfield have come forward in the wake of Charlotte O’Brien’s death last week to raise questions about the school’s handling of alleged bullying.

Charlotte’s parents have claimed they raised “friendship issues” with the school for two years, with Santa Sabina saying the allegations don’t match their records.

Santa Sabina’s principal says she had been “overwhelmed” by calls from parents “objecting to the portrayal of our College as failing to deal with matters that cause distress amongst our students”.

Charlotte O’Brien, a year 7 student at Santa Sabina College, died by suicide.

A psychologist who works with schools about how to address bullying says it is unfair to blame these institutions for what is a “nuanced” issue.

“The schools can do their best … but they often don’t know exactly what is going on,” Lyn Worsley from The Resilience Centre said.

“I think authorities are putting in enormous support.”

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‘Sensible parents sick’

Some people connected to Santa Sabina have raised questions about whether enough is being done to tackle the issue of bullying.

One parent told news.com.au they had decided to move their daughter to a new school, saying anxiety about alleged bullying had “been raised by many other parents”.

“The girls at school have been told ‘not to discuss it’, as ‘we are just entering exam season’. It makes the sensible parents sick,” the woman said

She claimed to know other families who were considering removing their children from the school.

Charlotte O’Brien’s family have spoken of their devastation.

Principal Paulina Skerman thanked the community for its “love and support” for Charlotte. Picture: Supplied

Another parent who says his daughter was withdrawn from the school after two alleged bouts of bullying expressed “great sympathy” for Charlotte’s family.

“(My daughter) experienced bullying there, and we ultimately made the difficult decision to withdraw her after feeling that the school’s response was inadequate,” he said.

“It seems the response from the school for Charlotte was alarmingly similar to what we faced.”

Correspondence sighted by news.com.au confirms complaints were raised with the school over several weeks before the parents decided to withdraw their child.

Principal Paulina Skerman said in a statement that many parents had this week sent emails and messages “that talk about their children feeling safe and cared for at Santa Sabina College”.

She said the families who contacted her rejected suggestions the school did not deal appropriately with these matters.

“Our Anti-Bullying Policy is available on our website, and was developed in consultation with the Association of Independent Schools of NSW, and further approved earlier this year by the NSW Education Standards Authority (NESA),” Ms Skerman said.

“Our students and our families are highly informed on the policy and the procedures for reporting and resolving matters of concern, and they utilise this as needed.

“Our focus as a College is the ongoing support and care for our students, their families and our staff, and to supporting Charlotte’s family through their unimaginable grief.

“We are continuing to work with Headspace and other providers to ensure that we follow the most supportive and safest practices for our community at this time.”

Ms Skerman urged any families who held concerns to contact the school directly.

Santa Sabina College in Strathfield was founded 130 years ago.

Ms Worsley, a clinical psychologist and director of The Resilience Centre, said it was important to note a 12-year-old committing suicide was a rare event.

She young people are still learning how to interpret life and social interactions, and factors outside of school could also have been at play.

“We need to talk about how to give hope, how to build hope,” Ms Worsley said.

She said the community needed to reflect on how Charlotte could have been supported: “That means we don’t point the finger and blame, but we step forward and help.”

Clinical psychologist Lyn Worsley said it was reductive to blame schools.

‘Invisible shields’

One former student who attended the school more than a decade ago told news.com.au she met with school leadership and counsellors while being bullied over the course of six months.

She said the harassment from students included having rubbish thrown at her in the playground, being pushed into walls and extended to death and rape threats online.

The woman, who asked not to be named, said the perpetrators were not punished, and on one occasion, she went to the pastoral care team after being injured to show staff her bruise.

She claimed one staff member told her to wear “invisible shields of armour so no one could hurt me”.

“That was the day I went home to my mum and said, ‘Get me out of here’,” she said.

The new school she attended was quick to act on the perception of bullying and inappropriate social media use, she said: “It was a totally different experience.

“Leaving and going to (the other school); it’s proof that some schools are doing it right – there’s no excuse for the others.”

Charlotte O’Brien’s mother released an email sent to the school after her daughter’s death.

The current leadership team at Santa Sabina is different from it was when this woman attended.

She was enrolled in the late 2000s but said reading Charlotte’s story immediately transported her back to that day in the office which convinced her to leave the school.

She said the alleged bullying had long-lasting effects on her life.

“School is your world at that age,” she said.

“My heart breaks for Charlotte that she won’t know it gets better.”

Mum’s emails

Emails from Charlotte’s mother, Kelly, to the Catholic school on September 10 were released to the media via Nine and 2GB this week.

In her final message to Santa Sabina, Kelly detailed some of the allegations her daughter had made about her treatment.

“My beautiful girl took her own life last night because of the relentless friendship issues she faced,” Kelly wrote.

“She didn’t deserve to go to and from school crying almost every day. She didn’t deserve girls to bark in her face or scream out her name and run away, to purposely hit her with their bag and say whoops.

“She didn’t deserve the pain she was in. She deserved love and kindness. She deserved to be treated with dignity and respect.

“My darling baby angel is gone because I didn’t make a big enough noise for her. I’m sorry baby, I’m sorry.”

It was also reported by the Sydney Morning Herald that a former staff member at the school took their life earlier this year, not long after resigning.

This person had also told their family there was a culture of bullying at Santa Sabina, the Herald reported.

Charlotte’s family is expected to speak with 2GB’s Ben Fordham on Monday.