New mum Melissa Arbuckle’s tragic blog posts before she laid her baby daughter on train tracks to die

Distressing details of the moments leading up to three-month-old Lily’s death were heard in Victoria’s Supreme Court today.

Former veterinarian Melissa Arbuckle pleaded guilty to the Upwey train tragedy that killed her three-month-old daughter in July, Photo of Melissa while travelling in Japan Picture: Supplied

WARNING: Distressing content

Tragic blog posts written by a mum who went on to kill her baby girl by laying her down in front of a moving train have been revealed.

Melissa Arbuckle, 32, will be sentenced on Thursday after pleading guilty to infanticide.

Distressing details of the moments leading up to three-month-old Lily’s death were heard in Victoria’s Supreme Court today, including how her mum’s life spiralled out of control after she developed postpartum depression.

Arbuckle’s old social media posts paint a completely different picture, with blog messages detailing how excited she was to one day start a family.

She wrote in 2016 how a trip to hospital for treatment for a uterus condition was like “the beginning of a journey”.

Former veterinarian Melissa Arbuckle pleaded guilty to the Upwey train tragedy that killed her three-month-old daughter in July]

“I’m not getting any younger and I look forward to having a family of my own one day so I decided it’s time to take my health seriously,” she wrote.

She also wrote how she was “incredibly fortunate” and that she had “never considered myself to be unhappy”.

But after little Lily was born, the young mum started to suffer from postpartum depression - which is common among mothers in the days and weeks after giving birth. However, Arbuckle was not diagnosed until the day after her daughter was killed.

Crown prosecutor Robyn Harper told Victoria Supreme Court on Tuesday that on the day of the tragic incident in July 2021, Arbuckle had said goodbye to her sister and mother after they came to visit Lily.

Shortly after, Arbuckle texted her husband to say their daughter was “losing it after a feed” and decided to take her for a walk, Ms Harper told the court.

Moments into their stroll, Arbuckle started searching the internet for information on trains, including speed, timetables and train derailments.

She was walking near the tracks at Upwey in Melbourne’s east when a train driver spotted Arbuckle holding Lily close to her chest. Arbuckle used her little girl’s hand to wave at the train, Ms Harper said.

Police allege minutes later a train driver heading towards Belgrave station spotted Arbuckle moving towards the tracks in a “suspicious” way and activated the emergency brakes.

Arbuckle, a veterinarian, placed Lily on the tracks and was trying to lay down herself when the train hit them both, the court was told.

In a heartbreaking detail, the train driver told police he “closed his eyes” when he knew a collision was imminent.

Passers-by rushed to the scene and found the pair lying on the tracks. When emergency services arrived, Arbuckle was trying to self-harm, Ms Harper said.

Lily was rushed to hospital but died a short time later from traumatic head injuries.

Arbuckle’s lawyer Megan Tittensor told the court that her client had a “significantly disturbed mind” and had intended to take her own life too.

In the weeks before the tragedy, the young mum had been “really down” and believed she injured her baby because she rocked Lily’s bassinet too vigorously, according to the summary read in court.

She had told a friend that she feared Lily might have shaken baby syndrome and became obsessed with checking for any signs and symptoms.

“She had a fixed delusional belief she had harmed her child and they were both broken,” Ms Tittensor said.

“She had a perfectionist personality and need for control … she wanted to be the perfect mother.”

Arbuckle had also shared that she was suffering from suicidal thoughts and was hearing voices.

“She had come to believe dying was her only option. She would hear voices telling her she was a bad mother,” Ms Tittensor said.

Defence also submitted that Arbuckle did not plan to have any more children in the future out of fear she would once again slip into psychosis and had strong prospects for rehabilitation.

A heartbreaking victim impact statement was read in court on Tuesday from Arbuckle’s estranged husband and Lily’s father, who asked to remain anonymous.

He described going into shock the moment police knocked on his door to tell him what had happened.

“It is hard to describe just how painful that was. My dear little girl was gone,” he said.

“She deserved so much more. I was stuck with this feeling of helplessness.”

He said he gave Lily a final kiss on the forehead as she lay motionless in hospital.

The man driving the train that struck the pair also submitted a tragic statement that said the moment changed his life forever.

“Every night I would dream of death,” he said.

Justice Jane Dixon said Arbuckle would carry grief with her for the rest of her life.

“She seems very much aware of the incredible suffering her actions have caused,” she told the court.

The day after the train crash, Arbuckle was diagnosed with severe major post-partum depression and post-partum psychosis.

Infanticide applies to women who kill their children, if they are under the age of two, in instances where the mother has mental health issues related to childbirth.