The expectation of awesome Christmas ‘happiness’ is the most stressful thing about the whole palaver writes Melissa Hoyer

THE expectation of awesome Christmas “happiness” is the most stressful thing abut the whole palaver, writes Melissa Hoyer.

Ho-ho-ho: The year has been full of happy and sad little elves: let’s hope 2017 there are more of the former

OPINION

DON’T know about you, but this year, and so many elements of it have been pretty crap.

And as for pretending to be ‘up’ and ‘awesome’, especially at Christmas, it can be bloody tiring for any of us.

To be honest, all I want for Christmas is my bed, some remote control bingeing and to just hang. Literally, hang with my kid, friends, dirty hair and no-make-up and not feel guilty for having a nap when I feel like it.

Christmas is always the time when some of us tend to get a tad philosophical (yes, that would be me) and introspective about the year that has been.

And without going all Dalai Lama/Oprah/Tony Robbins on you, it’s been pretty much a challenging year in so many areas.

Of course, people die, day in, day out, every year, but this year some of those deaths have really affected us. From high-profile musical poets like David Bowie, Prince and Leonard Cohen, to yours and my real-life, not-so-famous mates who have suddenly gone. Just like that.

The Man. Who Fell to heaven. David Bowie’s death, on January 10 this year, started the year on a sobering note. AFP PHOTO / FRANCK FIFE

Together, Australians and the world collectively mourned, whether we personally or just publicly knew those who died.

Over the weekend, there will be hundreds of thousands of Australians without a home; without the ham and turkey, the presents and the good cheer expected over Christmas. It is precisely at this time you get thinking about the fragility of life and the realisation that we are here for such a finite time. And that in that time, we often allow so much crap to seep into it.

We have overdosed on technology; OD-ed on personal angst & worry; bemoaned Brexit/Trump; been appalled by the situation in Syria and every other war and famine zone.

More simplistically, we may have spent the year just been trying to be or prove to be something we are not.

Most of us have had health or personal issues or friends who have them. I bet there are more mental health issues around than we all think. Everyone seems to be feeling insecure about their work. ‘Will I be able to pay the bills?’, ‘Will I be working enough in order to live?’, ‘Will I afford my rent or to ever buy a house?’

Each day, I tried to become more resilient without falling into the ‘I’ll take any crap’ trap, but that is sometimes easier said than done. It’s a good feeling to know you’ve got a small gang of family & friends; the colleagues who ‘get’ your idiosyncrasies and of course those who love you, through the good and the down times.

No-one can be everything to everyone and be everywhere, 24/7, and that is something, I think, I have finally learnt.

Learning to say ‘no’; ignoring the haters or being with people who are not good to you, or for you, have been lessons for me this year.

Christmas cheer: there is no moral obligation to be ‘on’ and ‘up’ over the festive season Pic: Instagram

All we can really do is just live life. In the happiest way we can. By doing what makes US happy, no matter the nay-sayers. And to be thankful of what we do have.

There is always, always someone much worse off than you.

It should be simple: just be bloody kind & thoughtful to each other, work hard, laugh & stuff the trolls, the jerks & the frenemies.

We all say it, but seriously, every freakin’ day is a bonus. We cannot suddenly ‘change’ overnight what is happening in our lives, no matter how many inspirational Instagram posts we read.

Either way, a personally-trying year does make you reassess priorities and as that great British philosopher (the singer George Michael) once wore, ‘Choose Life’.

We all have the days when we would rather be in the foetal position in bed, hiding from the world. But you get up, face the world and realise that yes, that bad day will pass.

The death of Prince really hit home for so many: still young, so talented, so unfair. Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images for NCLR

God, I still question my competency as a mother. Like any single, working mumma, you try to be everything to everyone — always with a smile and often pretending it’s all a breeze — but it’s often a facade and that child still is the most important person thing in my life.

For those thinking, ‘this has been a shite of a year’, I totally agree.

We can say ‘brush yourself off’ but life isn’t that simplistic. The lesson we learn after the things that happen on our respective roads? ‘It is what is’.

Spend time and love on those who matter; work hard; love what you do and from there, what else can you possibly do? Let’s hope 2017 gets up on the right side of the bed next year and is in a much, much better mood ...

Cheers!

You can follow Melissa on Instagram and Twitter @melissahoyer