Racing fashion fails: WARNING: includes tandoori tans, flesh, short skirts and questionable taste

TANDOORI tans, short skirts and questionable colour combinations. It’s racing season, and for some, that means making all kinds of fashion mistakes...

THE country’s hair salons, tan shacks and nail barns are doing a roaring trade leading up to the race that stops a nation. Or is that a ‘fasci’-nation?

Yes, it’s time to come out to play for a day at the races and for some, that means playing hard, short and very fast.

For others (fortunately) they take a more classic, tailored and stylish approach. And for that, we and the Spring Racing Carnival crew thank you.

With trackside fashion on our minds, it got us thinking about some of the racing season’s fashion fails. From boob alerts to flashing too much flesh, ridiculous hats and tandoori tans, you have been warned.

Next week, trackside will be full of them, so hold onto your proverbials, we’re in for a fun and bumpy ride ...

Mmmm. That is a very, very short skirt.

No, Just NO. Singer Rob Mills and his then paramour, the scantily-clad Paris Hilton at the 2003 Melbourne Cup.

Lots of gorgeous young, middle-aged and older ladies think a day at the races is a chance to let their hair extensions waaay down and allow their puppies out for a run.

Take Paris Hilton. Sometimes, you can tell there is a wardrobe malfunction ready to happen, as Ms Hilton nearly experienced when she wore this LOW-cut, revealing dress/skirt in 2003.

Like she always managed to do, Paris captured all the race day headlines with her questionable hemline.

Positively demure in comparison to some of Brynne Edelsten’s other racy race-day looks. This is from last year. Pic: Alex Coppel.

When Brynne Edelsten premiered trackside, she certainly bought ‘sensation’ back to the races, but whether some of her choices met the ‘dress chic’ criteria is a sticking point for the style set.

This year, the Victoria Racing Club (VRC) have even initiated a no-midriff policy ... but whether the code will be adhered to, we’ll soon see.

Doctor Geoffrey with Brynne Edelsten on Derby Day, 2011. Pic: News Corp.

With stylish celebrity types like Margot Robbie, Solange Knowles, Chris Hemsworth, Gigi Hadid and Erykah Badu coming to Melbourne as guests of marquees hosted by the likes of Swisse, Lexus, Mumm, Emirates, Myer, Crown, Yellowglen and Lavazza, no doubt that cast list will have received the VRC style memo.

They said top hats not totem poles ...

I don’t think the hat matches the dress.

Lara’s Derby Day outfit, 2013, didn’t know what it wanted to be: summer or winter. Picture by Julie Kiriacoudis

If the VRC dress code has been seriously enforced last year, the luscious Lara Bingle would have been thrown out of marquee-central — the infamously named Birdcage carpark. But who you gonna call? The Style Squad?

Shorts: they just didn’t cut it when given an outing on Bec Hewitt in the Emirates marquee.

Mmmm, Shorts. While, they may be good on a warm spring day, if the weather forecast for Saturday’s Derby Day is right, racegoer’s will be needing windbreakers, galoshes and designer umbrellas.

So whether you frock up big time for the races, just keep those immortal words from Ron Burgundy in the back of your mind. Stay classy.

Let us know some of your favourite and not-so-favourite fashion moments from your day at the races via Twitter @newscomauHQ.