The dos and don'ts of office romance

DATING a co-worker is fraught with complication and there are a few simple rules by which you must comply.

Office romance

WHO hasn't done it? Celebrities, X Factor contestants, even politicians have hooked up at work.

Really, It’s no wonder. We spend more time with colleagues than anyone else. We share common interests because we’re in the same line of work and hook-ups are predictable when after-work drinks turn into late-night parties, where booze helpfully swipes all inhibitions.

But, as anyone who’s dabbled their pen in the office ink will verify, dating a co-worker is fraught with complication. From someone speaking from experience, trust me, there are a few simple rules by which you must comply:

DO be discreet. Even if the entire office saw your tongues down with each other’s throat on the dance-floor last Friday night, doesn’t mean you have to fawn over each other come Monday, leaning over each other’s desks and being handsy by the water cooler. Your co-workers will be annoyed (and slightly grossed out), your boss will raise an eyebrow and, more importantly, think of the humiliation if you break up. Awkward!

DON’T become anti-social. In my old job - a small office of about 20 - two staffers struck up a romance and, whilst the public displays of affection were kept to a polite minimum, they swiftly went from being two of the most bubbly people in the office to a quiet - dare I say, boring - couple; scuttling in together every morning, leaving quietly every night, sneaking off for lunch together and barely speaking to anyone else. Try to keep your relationship, work and social lives a little separate.

DO tread carefully. The problem with inter-office relationships is that no matter how far you go in keeping it a secret, you always get found out, and this isn’t entirely a good thing. One ill-fated romance I had with a co-worker a few years back was detrimental not only to my emotional well-being, but my professional reputation.

It didn’t exactly look good when it was discovered I was dating the office Lothario, let alone when he publicly dumped me and I burst out crying at my desk, in front of numerous managers. Beware.

DON’T involve too many people. Places of work are gossip-driven. That's an inescapable fact. The couple who strike up a romance will inevitably become the Brad and Ange of the office, but only for about a week. Then they’ll get bored and move on to the next piece of gossip.

I was so infatuated with the Ill-Fated Office Ex, I told almost everyone in the office and therefore, they all knew when it went tits up, too.

DO be sure before you make a move. You like Hannah from marketing and are fairly certain she’s been giving you the eye in the canteen. And she definitely winked at you at the Christmas party that time, didn’t she?

Maybe you’ll come back from a business lunch a little tipsy and send her a suggestive email, inviting her to ‘check over your accounts’ and any other inappropriate innuendos you can think of. She’ll love that. But, oops, actually her husband just died, she’s forwarded your email to HR and now your boss wants to see you.

DON’T have sex on the photocopier. Obviously. Whoever thought up this cliché has a lot to answer for.

Having said all this, inter-office dating can be immeasurably fun. Hand-holding in the lifts, swift, stolen kisses in the kitchen and flirty email exchanges all make for a far more enjoyable working day. Just think twice before fondling too publicly.