‘Not true’: Common sex myth busted

We asked a sexologist to weigh in on one of the most common sex myths, and she busted it wide open.

It’s one of the most common sex myths: men peak sexually at 18, and women at 30. But new research from Bumble blows this age-old story out of the water.

Ever since I was in high school, people talked about men peaking sexually at 18 and women doing the same in their 30s. That was the ‘fact’, no questions asked. It turns out we should have asked a lot of questions.

New stats prove that there is no set age for your sexual peak. Picture: iStock

“This is not true,” Bumble’s resident sexologist, Chantelle Otten, told news.com.au.

“The theory is that when testosterone was high in penis owners and oestrogen was high in all vulva owners, that’s when we would experience sexual peak,” she continued.

“For penis owners that is early adulthood and for femmes that’s during their late twenties. From thirty onwards, that’s when fertility begins to decline, and when it does that’s when we have more of a sexual appetite.”

“This phenomenon of hitting your sexual peak comes from Alfred Kinsey’s work — a professor of entomology and sexologist, a pioneer in sexual medicine, a scientist and an educator from the US.”

For Otten, a true sexual peak “should not be measured on a hormonal level”, but instead by a range of other factors that determine whether you’re having “good” sex — quality over quantity, unless you hit the jackpot and can manage both, I suppose.

“It should really evaluated on how pleasure oriented we are, our self-esteem and our experiences,” she explained.

Millennials are the most likely to feel their in their sexual prime. Picture: iStock

“Yes, our sexual peak comes from our psychological experiences and, yes there are physiological factors but it’s driven by a lot of things including personal preference, body confidence and so much more.”

“Ultimately, there’s not an age where you will hit your sexual peak. It all depends on the person and their individual experience.”

It’s a point of view that is backed up by Bumble’s latest research — the Modern Romance Report — that shows age and experience might just be key to an enviable sex life.

When asked if they felt they were at the peak of their sexual experience, Millennial responders were top of the list with 45 per cent saying yes. Gen X were a close second, with Gen Z coming in last.

Meanwhile, 57 per cent of those same Gen Z responders felt that their inexperience made them feel vanilla in the bedroom, with Gen X responders the least likely to feel this way. Gen Z were also the most likely to feel embarrassed when they think about sex.

Gen Z most likely to feel embarrassed thinking about sex. Picture: iStock

“I think the mid-late thirties is a beautiful time because you usually have a fair amount of experience under your belt,” says Otten.

“You’ve been in a relationship or two, you’ve found out more of your preferences and you are more pleasure oriented than goal oriented. You hopefully have more confidence in saying what you want and need in the bedroom.”

“You might have also experimented and experienced self-pleasure more so you know what makes you feel good.”

So no, there is no magical age that you automatically hit a sexual peak. And yes, practice does appear to make perfect.

How to improve your sex life

If you’re one of those singles feeling vanilla, shy and inexperienced in the bedroom, Otten has some suggestions to help spice things up.

“It’s all about building confidence and communicating effectively to ensure you can build up to having more enjoyable and satisfying sex,” she says.

“You are your own best sexual partner, so I recommend you take some time to pleasure yourself and see what you like. That’s very important and will help you communicate that to your current (or next) sexual partner.”

Age is just a number, but experience and self-confidence are everything. Picture: iStock

“It’s also important to continue educating yourself about ongoing consent and checking in with your partner in the bedroom, as this will make things so much more enjoyable and will help you develop a better connection with your sexual partners.”

And of course, making sure there’s variation – think using different toys and lube, trying sex in different locations and times of day, dressing up (either for yourself or your partner), playing fun games and learning how to flirt.”

“All of these experiences will help make sexual experiences more enjoyable.”